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A Simple Request!
posted in Off Topic
1
#1
0 Frags +

Hey there! I wanted to first of all wish you all a happy holiday season, and to say that i'm extremely excited to announce that I've branched out of YouTube a little bit and have ventured into the world of acting and comedy. Recently I went to an audition for a web series and they were looking for main roles to get filled, I gave them my Here's The Thing channel and luckily one of the producers really liked the voice presence in the videos but said I lacked on camera experience.

I couldn't really show him my Wounded Stapler channel due to it being mostly voice, so I made an audition tape sort of video to show my on camera presence a little bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I7nHae1ANI

The video above touches on a very personal topic to me, which is not being comfortable with myself in front of an anonymous audience but I work through it with a 6 minute commentary on that topic.

Now for that simple request, guys I would REALLY appreciate it if you could critique this video by letting me know what I did wrong and what I could do to fix it (Keepin' it constructive).

And of course: PLEASE DO NOT SUBSCRIBE OR LIKE THE VIDEO, that will classify this post as an advertisement and that's not what it is because I gain absolutely no monetary compensation or anything like that, I really want to know where I lack and what I can work on!

Thank you again for taking the time to read through this, and I hope you have an awesome day! :D

Hey there! I wanted to first of all wish you all a happy holiday season, and to say that i'm extremely excited to announce that I've branched out of YouTube a little bit and have ventured into the world of acting and comedy. Recently I went to an audition for a web series and they were looking for main roles to get filled, I gave them my Here's The Thing channel and luckily one of the producers really liked the voice presence in the videos but said I lacked on camera experience.

I couldn't really show him my Wounded Stapler channel due to it being mostly voice, so I made an audition tape sort of video to show my on camera presence a little bit:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I7nHae1ANI[/youtube]

The video above touches on a very personal topic to me, which is not being comfortable with myself in front of an anonymous audience but I work through it with a 6 minute commentary on that topic.

Now for that simple request, guys I would REALLY appreciate it if you could critique this video by letting me know what I did wrong and what I could do to fix it (Keepin' it constructive).

And of course: [b]PLEASE DO NOT SUBSCRIBE OR LIKE THE VIDEO[/b], that will classify this post as an advertisement and that's not what it is because I gain absolutely no monetary compensation or anything like that, I really want to know where I lack and what I can work on!

Thank you again for taking the time to read through this, and I hope you have an awesome day! :D
2
#2
2 Frags +

Two things that jump out to me are overuse of profanity and some repetition.

Yes we all use profanity in our everyday language, most likely, but I think that needs to stay out of YouTube content. Some may disagree but it's not very professional. I'm not a prude or anything, I have a dirty mouth. But when I view YouTube content I don't think of people saying fuck over and over again as positive unless that's somehow their gimmick.

Toward the end it seems you're restating your point in the same words. Be the best you you can be! Valid point but I feel like it was said 3-4 times.

I know it's more about the message and less of the medium, but I'd also suggest you may be missing a larger point in what you were trying to communicate. It felt like you're giving this magical, almost undeserved credit to "famous" people or whatnot.. just for being who they are. "They're obviously where they are for a reason and you can never be them" (paraphrased). I think an important point is that in fact, people who are successful tend to be in that position because they worked their asses off, and perhaps had some luck along the way. They're also probably doing what they love - so there may have been a nice tie-in there to say keep doing what you love, do what your passion is, be yourself and work hard and perhaps some day you will be where these people are as well.

I think you do a good job and am sorry to hear that you did not get what you wanted with this audition. Keep at it.

Two things that jump out to me are overuse of profanity and some repetition.

Yes we all use profanity in our everyday language, most likely, but I think that needs to stay out of YouTube content. Some may disagree but it's not very professional. I'm not a prude or anything, I have a dirty mouth. But when I view YouTube content I don't think of people saying fuck over and over again as positive unless that's somehow their gimmick.

Toward the end it seems you're restating your point in the same words. Be the best you you can be! Valid point but I feel like it was said 3-4 times.

I know it's more about the message and less of the medium, but I'd also suggest you may be missing a larger point in what you were trying to communicate. It felt like you're giving this magical, almost undeserved credit to "famous" people or whatnot.. just for being who they are. "They're obviously where they are for a reason and you can never be them" (paraphrased). I think an important point is that in fact, people who are successful tend to be in that position because they worked their asses off, and perhaps had some luck along the way. They're also probably doing what they love - so there may have been a nice tie-in there to say keep doing what you love, do what your passion is, be yourself and work hard and perhaps some day you will be where these people are as well.

I think you do a good job and am sorry to hear that you did not get what you wanted with this audition. Keep at it.
3
#3
5 Frags +
GetawhaleTwo things that jump out to me are overuse of profanity and some repetition.

Yes we all use profanity in our everyday language, most likely, but I think that needs to stay out of YouTube content. Some may disagree but it's not very professional. I'm not a prude or anything, I have a dirty mouth. But when I view YouTube content I don't think of people saying fuck over and over again as positive unless that's somehow their gimmick.

Toward the end it seems you're restating your point in the same words. Be the best you you can be! Valid point but I feel like it was said 3-4 times.

I know it's more about the message and less of the medium, but I'd also suggest you may be missing a larger point in what you were trying to communicate. It felt like you're giving this magical, almost undeserved credit to "famous" people or whatnot.. just for being who they are. "They're obviously where they are for a reason and you can never be them" (paraphrased). I think an important point is that in fact, people who are successful tend to be in that position because they worked their asses off, and perhaps had some luck along the way. They're also probably doing what they love - so there may have been a nice tie-in there to say keep doing what you love, do what your passion is, be yourself and work hard and perhaps some day you will be where these people are as well.

I think you do a good job and am sorry to hear that you did not get what you wanted with this audition. Keep at it.

Hey thanks for the taking the time to reply!

On the point of profanity, I really do need to watch myself on that. I get what you're saying with it being more professional that way, and I don't think it was really a gimmick I was going for but a bad habit from making gaming videos and streaming.

And you're completely right about me restating my point too much, I just noticed that after a couple times re watching it. It was a bit difficult for me since I did this without a script and had to just keep going, I tend to do that in discussions and I can see how it gets annoying with the repetition.

Oooh yeahh, you're right about that point on successful people. I've met so many successful and talented artists in the past couple years and it takes A LOT of dedication and courage to get to where they're at, you're right, I could've explored that aspect of the topic more and I completely agree with doing what you love and being passionate and working hard, that really is the key to success.

And it's not a big deal, there are many auditions around the area, I feel like I have a good shot at it if I work harder and consistently learn from my mistakes!

Again, thanks for taking the time to watch it and write up a critique, I really appreciate it! :D

[quote=Getawhale]Two things that jump out to me are overuse of profanity and some repetition.

Yes we all use profanity in our everyday language, most likely, but I think that needs to stay out of YouTube content. Some may disagree but it's not very professional. I'm not a prude or anything, I have a dirty mouth. But when I view YouTube content I don't think of people saying fuck over and over again as positive unless that's somehow their gimmick.

Toward the end it seems you're restating your point in the same words. Be the best you you can be! Valid point but I feel like it was said 3-4 times.

I know it's more about the message and less of the medium, but I'd also suggest you may be missing a larger point in what you were trying to communicate. It felt like you're giving this magical, almost undeserved credit to "famous" people or whatnot.. just for being who they are. "They're obviously where they are for a reason and you can never be them" (paraphrased). I think an important point is that in fact, people who are successful tend to be in that position because they worked their asses off, and perhaps had some luck along the way. They're also probably doing what they love - so there may have been a nice tie-in there to say keep doing what you love, do what your passion is, be yourself and work hard and perhaps some day you will be where these people are as well.

I think you do a good job and am sorry to hear that you did not get what you wanted with this audition. Keep at it.[/quote]

Hey thanks for the taking the time to reply!

On the point of profanity, I really do need to watch myself on that. I get what you're saying with it being more professional that way, and I don't think it was really a gimmick I was going for but a bad habit from making gaming videos and streaming.

And you're completely right about me restating my point too much, I just noticed that after a couple times re watching it. It was a bit difficult for me since I did this without a script and had to just keep going, I tend to do that in discussions and I can see how it gets annoying with the repetition.

Oooh yeahh, you're right about that point on successful people. I've met so many successful and talented artists in the past couple years and it takes A LOT of dedication and courage to get to where they're at, you're right, I could've explored that aspect of the topic more and I completely agree with doing what you love and being passionate and working hard, that really is the key to success.

And it's not a big deal, there are many auditions around the area, I feel like I have a good shot at it if I work harder and consistently learn from my mistakes!

Again, thanks for taking the time to watch it and write up a critique, I really appreciate it! :D
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