Ok, it's story time.
Being emo sometimes can be pretty fun and relieving, so here I go.
I haven't been around lately, as some of you have already noticed, and I have a reason for it. I've always been pretty active, I believe that I always had the 80h/2weeks tf2 ratio, so yeah, I didn't really go out much, I really loved tf2 and playing it always made me happy. But this year I decided that it would be different, I would start going out more and hang out with friends more than playing tf2. Well, I did it. But yeah I'm kind of an unlucky person. When I decided to go out the first weekend, I went to a nightclub with some college friends on a friday, and it was fun! I met a girl there and she invited me to go with her at the same nightclub on saturday, I said I would, and I did. It was being a pretty good experience overall, since I've always been a tf2-lover-nerd (and I still am, i cannot lie). So yeah... the next day I invited we went to this nightclub again, and for my surprise, I found 4 good friends of mine there that I wasn't expecting to see. It was being a great night and an awesome weekend, since it was pretty much my first weekend really going out. I believe that you guys heard about a fire in a nightclub here in Brazil 2 months ago. Yeah. It was that night. I don't feel like giving details about it because it's not something I really don't feel comfortable sharing with you all and I believe not everyone wants to read it. What are the fucking odds, right? First fucking weekend going out, tragedy happens. I lost 2 of my friends there, friends that were right fucking next to me, and I can say I was pretty close to losing my own life that night. I ended up by helping people outside, including the girl I met the night before. This is what has been keeping me away from the interwebzzzz and tf2, I know it might not make much sense, since tf2 was what always kept me happy, but i've been under psychological treatment and since then i've been trying to start to live again. What has hurt me the most after that night is the guilt of being here, alive, having a chance to do stuff. I confess I feel pretty relieved by telling you guys all of this. I believe i've only talked to my closest tf2 e-friends about it, so now I'm making it public. I miss tf2 but I can't focus on pretty much anything atm. I relive the nightmare every night I go to bed, and everyday I feel any better, all the good thoughts I had turn into shit and makes me feel pretty depressed. Well, I thinks this is it. I love you all (not really, but ok)
sorry for being too br and stuff like that.
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