To me the editing was a bit choppy, but totally fine. The issue with this movie, in my eyes, is the frags. Some of them were pretty good but it looked like only about half the clips were actually "man this frag was super cool", with the other half being "ok time to fill up the rest of this frag video".
Getting 2-4ks on hl soldier isn't particularly interesting, even if you hit some pretty nice directs (which you did). I'd recommend just waiting longer, collecting more frags that are cool, and using a more upbeat song.
Slow songs like this are (in my eyes) only good for a very specific kind of edited video (example being the beginning of this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkyzTu-Owd8), and you didn't ever really get that feel going.