HOLY SHIT ME TOO, if anyone has any idea how to fix this. please share

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Nothing special...

everytime by ariana grande is great

build a house with popsicle sticks. Its really relaxing and you can let your imagination run wild!

made me a super hero

I’m in my twenties, and to some degree was lucky and sheltered a little from porn when I was younger. I started using porn when I was in middle school, but only had dial up internet until I left for college, so it never went beyond pictures or a few minutes of video. Since college I’ve also been in a couple sexual relationships (which according to YBOP protects you somewhat from the effects of porn). Nonetheless, for the past 5 years or so I’ve been a heavy PMO user. In the last 3 years it got to the point of once or twice a day. I am currently dating an amazing woman, but previously I would have characterized our sex as boring and modestly satisfying at best. My girlfriend and I view ourselves as forward thinking people, and we are both ok with each other watching porn. We figured it was a healthy outlet for extra sexual energy. I assumed we didn’t have a lot of sex or very good sex because we are both too busy and stressed with our emerging careers, or that maybe we weren’t as sexually compatible as I had thought. I can get it up for sex, but there is a lack of enthusiasm on my part. I’ve also noticed some desensitization over time. Three or four years ago, I loved getting BJs in the shower. Today, I can’t keep it up and don’t enjoy them anymore. I told myself it’s because it gets hot in there or I’m getting older, but only recently did I realize the problem.

My girlfriend had to go on a long trip a little over four weeks ago. One night I was opening the tabs to view some porn, and by chance I came across a post on a website linking to the Ted talk. I thought it sounded interesting and started loading the talk along with the porn and grabbed a few tissues for the evening. Those tissues have been placed back next to the box, and have remained there for the past 4 weeks. Here are my honest, detailed observations regarding the effects of NoFap at this point, in order of impact on my life:

What I desire. Before NoFap, I only ever fantasized about girls that looked like porn stars in unrealistic situations. If my mind wondered during the day, I would think about unreal women doing unreal things. Since about a week into NoFap, the only person I fantasize about is my girlfriend. Whereas before I was excited by shock value and hardcore things, I now have a mix of wanting to try sensual and intimate things along with rougher, passionate things. I have become extremely sexually creative and have come up with all kinds of things for us to try when she gets back. I have a sudden interest in taking her out on dates and showing her off before taking her home again for sex that lasts more than 20 minutes and is not goal oriented (not all about getting to the orgasm as quick as possible). I was nervous at first about how much I fantasized and if it slowed my recovery, but I am now turned on by a real life person, so that is a win. I was also nervous to share my fantasies with her, but I told her about them and she is excited to try them. My mind was blown. Being busy and stressed are factors for us, yes, but they were not the cause of having a poor sex life.

Interacting with other people. I know there is some debate regarding confidence and NoFap, so here is my perspective. I think it is an indirect, but real, effect. When I’m not flatlining (which seems to come in short several day bursts for me), I look at women much more and I notice their bodies. I used to avoid eye contact and was embarrassed to talk to other women in general. Now that I’m checking them out more, we do happen to often make eye contact. The only thing I can do in that situation is smile, and 8 or 9 times out of 10, they smile back. It leads to conversations and overall contributes to the ‘confidence boost’. Furthermore, I feel like I can hold eye contact with other men better as well, and don’t feel like I need to look away when they look at me. Lastly, I usually don’t like to interact with people, and I feel a little boxed in and irritated if someone else stares at me too much. But the other day I was at the gym on a machine near the reception desk. The girl at the desk had been watching me for a while. Before, that would have made me angry or embarrassed and put me in a bad mood. But this time I looked back at her and smiled. She smiled back. And then the weirdest thing happened: instead of me feeling embarrassed after a few seconds, an almost literal voice came into my head and kept saying “Ask her out for coffee.” I got a bit of a high while thinking about how to execute that. Now, of course I have a girlfriend and did not ask her out for coffee. But it was pleasant to know that interactions with other people could make me feel good and energized instead of embarrassed and isolated.

More energy. I haven’t noticed this to the same extent as others, but it is apparent when I wake up. I am not a morning person and I often feel crummy having to wake up in the morning. I would often have a headache and feel heavy and tired. After starting NoFap, I am still not a morning person and like to sleep in, but I don’t feel like such shit when my alarm goes off. I feel like I can get up if I have to and the day will be manageable.

My libido has increased quite a bit. Sometimes even a cold shower can’t put down my member. I have had a few bursts here and there of flatlining, but just talking on the phone with my girlfriend has become an entirely new experience since we have opened up and started talking about ourselves in an honest way and I find it very arousing

The urge to fap. I was very horny the first few weeks, but I didn’t have an urge to watch porn per se. I figured maybe I wasn’t addicted to porn, but just fapped too much. Then one day in the third week: BAM! I had the strongest urge (I can’t describe it….it’s like wanting your favorite fast food meal really badly) to watch some porn. Interestingly, it was the kind of fetish porn I had recently gotten into before NoFap. My brain kinda froze for a bit and I was sure it was ok because that kind of fetish stuff isn’t found in real life, so it was something that ought to be ok to experience digitally since it wasn’t happening any other way. I came out of my logic coma long enough to find something else to do, but I couldn’t believe how strong it was and how it just came out of no where.

I have started going to the gym and running. This is not directly related to NoFap; you still won’t WANT to go the gym once you quit PMO, but if you make the resolve to do it at the same time, it is worth it and keeps your time occupied (see number seven). The first time is difficult and awkward as you are trying to find a rhythm with the weights and figure everything out. The second time is a little better but it’s still nerve racking whenever other people watch what you are doing. But by the fifth or sixth time, it has become a habit and you don’t give a shit what other people are thinking – you have business to take care of.

I still feel a little foggy in the head, but I think this is because I have replaced some PMO time with more time on reddit and other websites. For the next month I am going to cut back on internet time and see if this helps. I advise others to be careful about what it is they replace PMO with.

When I started the first day, I thought I would give it a try for a month and then go back to PMO since I viewed it as a sexually liberating experience. After one week, I realized how porn could never satisfy me (ever spend hours and hours looking for the perfect vid?), so I decided I would give it the full 90 days and then I would go back to MO using fantasy, since some things can’t happen in real life. After about three weeks, I realized MO just takes away from what should be sexual experiences with real people, and that I should talk to my gf about my fantasies so that we could act them out together to our mutual satisfaction.

holy shit

I FAINTed :)

RIP, fuck drugs

Wheelchair Warriors

Do u make ur own iced coffee? I'm thinking about doing that

It's like you're trying to be funny but you're not..but you don't stop

I have a 1L Stanley Thermos bottle that I fill with ice water. If I'm feeling crazy I'll drink watermelon and pineapple Powerade.

holy shit this is dumb

I added you to MGE. Hopefully it can help you!

mikemat and grape juice soldiers = ww3 play for them