I'm surprised that this has reached a head. I had a hard recoil from being involved in financially supporting the tf2 community after the i55 situation. I never publicly told what happened, but it seems like the timing is appropriate.

An invite player would stream tf2 with me as his only viewer. One evening, he was pugging and was in mumble with others. While waiting for a game, Showstopper plays a racist video of Obama. Showstopper then proceeds to comment on the video and repeatedly call Obama a nigger. At some point, Ash chimes in with "I love how racist you are! I fucking hate niggers too!" This went on for a time, but that assertion stuck with me.

At the announcement of i55, I donated ~$600 to Ascent and ~$1,300 to my then favorite team Froyotech. My plan was to foot the entire bill to send Froyo to LAN as a surprise. Before realizing this, Froyotech decided to pick up Ash to plug a hole in their roster. There was no way I was going to pay for a self proclaimed racist to go on vacation on my dime to play video games. After I asked for a refund of my donation, Ash was encouraged to write an apology letter to change my mind. While in the process of writing the letter, he, showstopper, and others were in mumble resentfully referring to me as a nigger.

In 2 years I donated over $20K to streamers and the tf2 community. That all came to a screeching halt and so did my enjoyment of spectating competitive tf2 as an esport. The fallout strained and in some cases ended the relationships I had with members of the community. Here's to hoping the community removes the cancerous elements for the sake of its own health.

Over how many years divided by how many players? #lamestat

#pray4b4nny

was only a matter of time.

you're right, peace out.

Wouldn't it make more sense for me to fuck him with the truth now than wait until after it won't affect him?

That's exactly what I did.

I tried my hardest to keep it under wraps. I didn't post a word and only talked to members of froyo, dashnerr, and eXtine. I never would have said Ash's name. Of course, gossip ensued. I've had many people recount their "through the grapevine" stories to me over the past couple of days. Many absurd, but none as egregious as reality. My intention was to keep it quiet.

You mean like playing the game since November 2007? Hosting the west coast players every night for two years on the Xbox 360 so they had a place to play with a good connection? Shoutcasting with eXtine in the TWL days? Sponsoring an early team without once asking them to do something because I was the sponsor? I guess it's not much, but it's something.

It's very interesting to watch people weigh in on the situation without the facts. You realize I've donated in excess of $7k to streamers since January right? I am mod on ZERO of their streams. At one point, Duwatna and I had a falling out and I never would have dreamed of hanging anything I've donated over his head. The only things I have ever asked for from any of the streamers in return for donations is that they do their best to win scrims/matches and for Duwatna to bake me a batch of cookies. The only time I ever asked for special treatment based on money I donated was in asking b4nny to divulge to me their soldier resolution after hearing rumors that they were going to pick up Ash. B4nny refused, and even then I refrained from using my donations ($1,100 to b4nny and $1,337 to his team) to force them not to pick up Carter. Maybe I should have, but I am not Froyo's sponsor and feel I should have no say so in how b4nny runs his team.

b4nny did the right thing because I was doing the right thing.

You don't see Froyo saying I was not justified in my decision, do you? It's unfortunate, but in this world there are consequences for actions. These aren't donations to starving kids in Africa. Carter is going on a paid vacation to Europe to play video games on the community's dime.

When i55 is over, I will post the series of events that lead up to now. You will see it is FAR more than Ash and showstopper using nigger. It is far more than getting "offended by anything anyone says on the internet." I'll leave it at that. Back to your regularly scheduled program.

I am publicly cock blocking his bullshit.

Please see below. I'd be shocked if Ash wasn't encouraged to say something.

Remember, I wasn't the one making tftv posts after what was witnessed or adding a video guaranteed to have a fat number of views to my youtube channel. That would have been an attention grab. I don't care for Ash's apology because it's not real. He's sorry he's put his new team in a bind financially. He's sorry that he looks bad. He's not sorry for his actions. He told me it was my problem I was offended after he delivered a crowd sourced apology letter all while mf'ing me before, during, and after delivery. He went out of his way to call me the very thing that started situation AFTER I was not going to accept is apology and seek the refund. It's sad that simply saying "i'm sorry" is enough satisfy you. I'm sorry I'm not a sucker... Do you see how that works?