Firstly, I wanted to note that I'm not really "new" to the scene at all (I guess it depends on who you talk to). I've been playing competitively for a few years now, in which all of my exp has been on combo scout or pocket soldier, although [b]I'm putting all of my effort towards combo scout atm[/b]. When I'm not scrimming, pugging, or playing an official, I'm constantly watching VODs of high div gameplay and reviewing my own demos as well as other scouts demos, so I can get a good feel of how the game is played properly. I try to identify what is a good push vs what is not, how you should prioritize certain players in fights, etc. A huge inspiration of mine is [b]slemnish[/b], who's demos or matches I've watched nearly a thousand times (when he was playing combo) so I can attempt to replicate his gameplay almost perfectly. Back in S2 of RGL Trad 6s I made a team in open under the name [url=https://rgl.gg/Public/Team.aspx?t=5917&r=40]ANVIL[/url]. The season was relatively calm, but only because I never really felt pressured by other players' skill at all, both mentally or mechanically. However, early in the season, I was more confident in my DM than I have ever been. I have always had a pretty rough setup situation, but I strived through it. I played on a basic low-end keyboard (like one's you'd find in typical office buildings or schools), a laptop which averaged 30-50 fps (even with a maxperformance cfg and the third lowest res.), and a $15 red dragon mouse. Despite how bad of a setup that seems, I was far more consistent than I am now, where my setup is 10000x better. I played with an extremely high sens (at least after speaking to multiple other higher level scout mains), which was about 3.5 inches / 360. I was extremely consistent in both team fights and 1v1s, in the event I had to take one to either save my medic or to block an objective.

I was, for a while, considered the carry of my team and possibly mid-high IM level when I was only mid-low open at the time. Many of my friends or other people I've played against still tell me I'm the "carry" of any team I play on, but I feel as if that discredits the skill and effort of the other 5 players on my team, so I just cannot accept being given that compliment. When they do compliment me on it, it's no longer based on my mechanical ability, but rather just my gamesense and (sometimes) maincalling. I have (for the past 4 seasons) been constantly outshined by whatever flank scout I play with. Their DPM is always higher, kills are higher if not even, and their deaths are lower. It's gotten so bad, I've contacted many mentors from main up to div1 or even invite, and people always assume I'm the flank scout. I can't really imagine any other reason everyone would assume I'm the flank scout other than how their stats compare to mine. I think it's rather sad, really, [b]having 20% more heals than they do, and having a demo and pocket soldier helping me with both dishing damage and cleaning up on it[/b]. In comparison, they're averaging [b]10-15% heals (on 5cp) and only have a roamer with them[/b], who is just being sent in for plays time and time again, so they're always dead. Here are a few examples.

[list]
[*] [url=https://logs.tf/2772497#76561198277979851] main "debut" scrim 1
[*] [url=https://logs.tf/2772533#76561198277979851] main "debut" scrim 2
[*] [url=https://logs.tf/2730277#76561198277979851] s4 IM pregame
[/list]

Since the first 2 logs are extremely recent, let me mention that as I previously stated, my setup is significantly better than it was previously. I've got a bigger desk, a better chair, a bigger monitor (although still 60hz), a better mouse, and a significantly better pc, which averages 500+ fps on tf2 with the highest settings possible. I have changed my sens to something (at least for me) significantly lower. It's now about 7-8 inches / 360, which SHOULD feel more controllable. Instead, I actually feel as if I'm worse. It truly baffles me that back in s2 I was the best I have ever been with such a shitty circumstance to work with. I was often told "you play bad because u have like 30 fps, when you get a better pc you'll be much better". I've had this computer since mid June and I have not made any improvement whatsoever.

One of my biggest concerns in experiencing this lack of improvement is [b]how it affects other people[/b]. I won't embarrass anyone by using their name, but there have been plenty of times whether it be in a scrim, official, ringing, etc, in which people get disappointed in my performance. You hear the typical sigh from time to time, as well as hearing obvious disapproval and disappointment in some voices. It makes me unreliable to have on their team, especially on their combo. I can never win a 1v1, I can never hit scouts, I am constantly beefing moments where I should've killed a med or won a fight, or even worse, failing multiple times to shoot a [b]25 hp scout who my demo has piped[/b], and having both my demo and medic die due to my incompetence. That's a morale killer, and it makes me self conscious as to whether or not I should ever even try out for any higher level teams. As you climb divs, people start to know your name. If I stayed in open forever, unless I had some other forms of encountering them, div 2 - invite players would never know me. While being encouraged by many of my peers to climb divs and tryout for teams, I worry that people will (through speaking to one another) begin to spread the word of [b]"That guy beefs a lot, you shouldn't pick him up"[/b], forever making it significantly harder to get on a team at all, let alone one that would be successful or actually make it through the entire season without cutting me. To me, for high div teams, it is almost UNHEARD OF to see a combo scout with so much support get so little done. Now that I'm playing against main/div2 players, it has come to my attention that I must not really be as good as some say, in regards to pushing me to climb the ranks.

I have tried hand warmups, mge, offline bot practice (on maps like tr_aim, tr_newbots, or tr_rocketshooting), kovaaks, etc. None of which seem to help. I can do this for hours upon hours before a game, or 40 min right before a game and still get the same result. I've been told (because I used to play the game a lot more) that I could just be burnt out. I will take periods of 2-3 days at a time where I don't touch tf2 or any other games in general, and when I come back I don't really feel "refreshed" in the slightest.

Approaching the next season, I already have a guaranteed starter spot as a main team's combo scout, which I cannot thank them enough for. I don't know if this seems like a desperate attempt at trying to use this platform as a therapist's visit, or a rough list of ideas expressed in an incoherent manner. In conclusion, however, I am just looking for ANY advice from any player from any league, and any division within that league. All advice given (in the event this post is even seen) will be taken into consideration. [b]I cannot thank you enough for your time and acknowledgement if you actually sat through this essay of mine, it means a lot to me.[/b]