The ink on the Week 1 Preview is still wet, but as the saying goes, time waits for no man. Three of the four games we previously discussed have been played out and broadcast for the masses. The results will be brazenly displayed further down this very page, so you may want to avert your gaze if are still planning to watch the coverage and indulge in a spot of amateur time travelling. Take heed!

Just in case you can’t trust yourself not to scroll down the page, the relevant video content from the first week of play has been aggregated in to this handy YouTube playlist.

Although we are only on our second outing, the preview series is beginning to solidify into something resembling a consistent format, so I expect that all future editions will be outsourced to China. Luckily this should coincide with a massive improvement in the quality of penmanship on display; the future is indeed bright for European Team Fortress 2.

Back to reality and it was a fairly mundane Week 1 in the Premiership featuring a trio of one-sided games and a subsequent three-way tie at the top with the teams separated only by the manner in which they each rolled their opponents.

Week 1:	4-25		6	-	0		Lazy Pandas
	Granary		5	-	0
	Gullywash		4	-	3

Week 1:	Epsilon eSports by Fragnet Networks		6	-	0		GGWP.pro
	Gullywash		5	-	0
	Granary		6	-	2

Week 1:	Fenneks eSports by SimRai.com		6	-	0		Saints
	Granary		6	-	1
	Gullywash		4	-	2

By now you will have deduced that the most anticipated game of Week 1 was actually wildcarded as BFF bested rockit in the battle of the default dates, in that they actually bothered their arses to get involved in the scheduling process. For shame, rockit! Fortunately, the Premiership latecomers have acquired a busty new secretary from the Emerald Isle -- call me for all your scheduling needs on 0800-POTATE.

The calendar’s progression to Week 2 means that we can wave goodbye to Granary until Week 7. Thrown in to the mix with Gullywash will be Badlands, the favourite holiday destination of competitive Team Fortress 2 players the world over. Never had there been a bad game of Badlands until last season’s infamous LEGO vs. 4-25 Relegation Playoff – some say Dr. Phil is still keeping watch over that last point till this day, perched up in the tube, eight stickies at the ready, finger hovering over his right mouse button...

Speculation has been rife as to the identify our Week 1 Mystery Predictors; more than one person messaged me on Steam certain in their convictions that Predictor #1 was most definitely, one hundred percent the führer himself, ipz. I’m afraid not! How long can I continue to remain tight-lipped? No one knows for sure, but this week I have recruited two new Premiership lackeys to play the roles of #1 and #2... ha... number two.

Play hard, go nowhere

Despite the incredible leaps and bounds rockit have made in terms of scheduling and organisational prowess, in game they still lack the cohesion to be considered playoff contenders. One day they may actually string together enough correct decisions to win a map against a Premiership opponent, but the taste of victory remains elusive. Perhaps things will be different under match conditions? We can only hope.

Their first tentative steps into the Premiership were too much GGWP.pro, who went on the wobble early in a 15 minute game of Gullywash against season favourites, Epsilon. Having composed themselves, ShaDowBurn and gdk were able put the heat on HYS to give them a foothold in the midfights on Granary, but they lacked the fire power to ever really threaten Epsilon’s lead. Subsequently msh has been benched for reko, having produced an average of 129.5DPM across both maps. With the expectation being that this can only be a good thing for the Russians, they would have to enter this fixture as the bookies’ favourites.

rockit
*Admirable*	*hocz*	*WARHURYEAH*	*cookye*	*smzi*	*qnx*
*Whiteglow*	*Forsak3n*	*gdk*	*reko*	*atomic-*	*ShaDowBurn*
GGWP.pro

Scheduled for 21:15CEST on Tuesday 20th May with coverage from TFTV.

Mystery Predictor #1:

Judging from results in practice matches, it seems that rockit has not yet found their form. Despite having super stars such as Admirable and cookye, they are still struggling. Despite this, I think the game will be fairly close. I expect GGWP to win 4-2 on Gullywash and 5-4 on Badlands.

Mystery Predictor #2:

Both teams are getting close results and the last games were in favour of GGWP.

It is going to be a really close game and rockit might upset GGWP if rockit manage to fix their uberfights.

3:4 2:3

Probably nothing to be worried about... probably

I would love to think that 4-25 can pull off a great points heist here, but it’s probably just the same sort of romantic notion that allowed me to get my heart broken by LEGO last season; I really believed! Death has proven to be a very consistent performer both in terms of damage output and map control, but he is facing off against the old master himself. It will be up to the rest of 4-25 to find the cutting edge whether that be a timely Kritzkrieg switch-up from Dikker or scoped streak from kenzi.

Fenneks prospects looked set to rise with gf18 and ryb giving a demonstration in devastation in their opening map against Saints in Week 1. They were much more subdued when Gullywash rolled around, being held to a 2-2 draw until the 25th minute by the unpredictable Swedes. I can only conclude that wltrs has been watching too many msh demos; a performance best forgotten. Still, Fenneks start the season with their best roster to date and all the tools they need to secure six points in this outing.

4-25
*Dikker*	*Shyyou*	*Death*	*sid vicious*	*kensi.*	*lippy*
*skeej*	*KLar*	*ryb*	*gf18_idiot*	*wltrs*	*KillAri*
Fenneks eSports by SimRai.com

Scheduled for 21:15CEST on Thursday 22nd May with coverage from TFTV.

Mystery Predictor #1:

This will be a close match-up, but I expect 4-25 to win on Gullywash, which seems to be one of Fenneks' weaker maps. Fenneks will however win Badlands pretty convincingly. 3-2 to 4-25 on Gullywash and 5-2 to Fenneks on Badlands.

Mystery Predictor #2:

This game should go quicky in favour of Fenneks if skeej is not going to drop his players and 4-25 don't manage to slowdown the game and start to play based on snipers.

It will be interesting to see the clash of two snipers wltrs and kenzi.

3:4 3:5

Pray for a quick death

Questions were asked of the newest member of Epsilon’s roster, HYS, but luckily the claustrophobic mids of Granary won’t feature again until Week 7. Undeniably their opening game was a slam-dunk, even with a demoman on a bad day and the increasingly reckless plays of basH, the roster is simply too stacked to lose against any team this side of Week 7. This fixture will be no different. I look forward to the prospect of seeing another perfect game from Raymon.

I’m surprised to say that Saints could have taken a point or more from the Fenneks game where they demonstrated their willingness to run the lesser spotted plays such as the Gullywash sniper mid or pyro push. However, during standard play Smirre’s enthusiasm got the better of him on more than one occasion and unless he can stay alive and manage his health, Saints will fail to make any progress this season. The rookie pocket rag! looked good on the attack, but too often the odds were stacked against him before the engagements had even begun. I am a big advocate of oddball strategies against superior opponents and if any team can deliver there it has to be Saints. Right?

Epsilon eSports by Fragnet Networks
*Raymon*	*KnOxXx*	*HYS*	*Kiler4fun*	*basH.*	*Mike*
*ondkaja*	*rag!*	*Smirre*	*alba*	*Dennia*	*cAPS*
Saints

Scheduled for 21:15CEST on Thursday 22nd May with coverage to be announced.

Mystery Predictor #1:

Epsilon will easily win this fixture, but not before Saints have taken some rounds from them. 6-1 6-1 to Epsilon.

Mystery Predictor #2:

lol saints

5:0 5:0

Endangered faeces

Hildreth sounded genuinely dejected in the post-match interview as the reality of what competing in a roster comprised of two thirds inexperienced players began to set in. Outsiders pass aspersions on the Premiership circlejerk and recycled player pool, decrying the misfortunes of their favourite MGE hero or Highlander champion, but the truth is that unless those players can develop the “prem” decision making process they will flounder. It’s a long road ahead for Lazy Pandas, but it’s not all grey skies. Muuki exhibited some moments of brilliance with well-timed flanks and solo efforts, but he might have less luck against this slippery Latvian medic.

Nothing has changed from last week for Europe’s only hope of an interesting Grand Final in Season 18. Even though BFF victory over rockit was postponed to a later date, no one is doubting their credentials. This should be a paper exercise for every single one of their players -- outclassing their opponents on all fronts: the brutal truth.

Lazy Pandas
*Stevepander*	*zoob*	*Hildreth*	*tracker*	*Lazybear*	*Muuki*
*Mirelin*	*Zebbosai*	*kaidus*	*fl1p*	*Stark*	*Knutsson*
BFF

Scheduled for 21:15CEST on Thursday 22nd May with coverage from VanillaTV.

Mystery Predictor #1:

Lazy Pandas' flank will get crushed due to lack of comms and experience. It is doubtful that the combo will make up for the shortcomings on the Flank. I expect BFF to win 7-2 on Gullywash and 5-0 on Badlands.

Mystery Predictor #2:

lol highlander

0:5 0:5

Finally I can break my vow of silence and reveal that last week’s Mystery Predictor #1 was none other than blogging sensation WARHURYEAH of rockit and Mystery Predictor #2 was your ETF2L Demoman of the Season kaidus of BFF. Gasp! Give them a round of applause. You now know where to send your letter bombs.

I am sworn to protect the identity of this week’s mystery predictors with my life, but luckily they didn’t actually say anything of interest. Boring cunts. I’ll try and find gamers with big mouths and bigger balls next week.