AbsolutelyNobody
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SteamID64 76561198172176373
SteamID3 [U:1:211910645]
SteamID32 STEAM_0:1:105955322
Country Canada
Signed Up January 4, 2015
Last Posted January 4, 2015 at 4:16 AM
Posts 2 (0 per day)
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#92 Scout/Medic LFT low open in Recruitment (looking for team)
Kaeyelbeing shit talked at doesn't necessarily mean you have to hit back harder...

This is so, so important. Shutting up and letting them yell at the air doesn't mean you lose. It means you're better than them because you're refusing to get dragged down into the mud. If they're getting to you, mute them and keep playing.

I mean, what do you gain exactly by responding in kind? Satisfaction? I suppose so sometimes, but then you've opened yourself up to actually losing. You're putting your good mood at risk. Your pride too, if you insist on keeping it. And I think this thread shows better than anything just how much it can come back to bite you.

When everyone else sees somebody shit talking you and you just quietly taking it, they don't think you're weak. They think the other guy's an idiot, and if they think anything about you at all, they respect you for being more mature.

posted about 9 years ago
#90 Scout/Medic LFT low open in Recruitment (looking for team)

Atomisk, I've played with you before. I don't think you're the worst person alive and so I'm going to try to give you some actual advice. I think you're going to reply with something flippant to maintain the image you're going for, but I desperately hope that you'll consider what I'm saying privately at least. I'm genuinely trying to help you.

Here's the thing: Nobody really wants to be around you. That's not an injustice. That's not unfair. It's not us being haters or trolls, and we're not being misled or misunderstanding your side of the story. It's entirely down to your behaviour.

See, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I hope Huck and Cashews and the others in this thread aren't too offended by me saying this, but I am entirely willing to believe that they've done everything you said. I'll take your word for it when you say they shit talked you, lied about you, tried to grief you... Anything. They're baby eating Hitlers.

It doesn't change a damn thing. And this is what I think you're not understanding. I don't want to be around someone who responds to shitty behaviour with more shitty behaviour. I want to be around people who take the high road, are proud of who they are and how they behave, and simply ignore it or try to resolve things amicably, without worrying about whether it makes them look weak or not. Because that's what adults do.

You take these people acting shitty towards you as an excuse to act shitty yourself. You shit talk back when people shit talk you, and now you seem surprised when those same shit talkers come and persist. And you know what? If you had responded to them properly and they'd still come and shat all over your thread because they're jealous because you beat them in MGE or something, nobody would take them seriously. Nobody at all. It would be clear to everyone that they're just asshats and should be ignored.

But that's not what's happened. Instead, you've proved exactly how arrogant you are, and that's made everyone dislike you, independent of our opinion of the others in this thread. You still lose. You're not coming out ahead here in any way.

You need to start taking quiet moral victories. You don't need a fanclub fawning over you, you don't need a ten page essay on how you got back at pub shit talkers, and you generally don't need people to know about your victories. You just don't. You can be happy with what you've accomplished privately, because the harsh truth is that unless someone's a close friend of yours, they simply don't give a fuck. And our interactions with others need to be tailored to what they care about. This isn't even much of a sacrifice, because if you do this consistently, you'll be liked by people who also tailor the way they act to what you care about. You both gain.

So here's my advice. I don't think you'll take it, but I'll pretend you will. One, delete that fanclub shit. It's silly. Sycophants are bad for you and expand your ego, which is a huge problem for you.

Two, apologize in this thread. If the people here are as bad as you say they are, you don't even have to apologize to them directly. But you should understand that how you've been acting here is unacceptable, and you should apologize for that, because the target of your behaviour is irrelevant.

And third, you should offer some sort of indication that you're willing to consider that you're making mistakes, that you're being a shithead, and that you'll think about it and try to become a better person in the future. A complete about face overnight isn't possible (even if you wanted to do that,) but it's unreasonable of us to expect that. We'll judge you by the sort of person you want to be. Sincerity will be appreciated and the mature people here will forgive you immediately and wipe the slate clean, so to speak.

I don't think you'll do these things. But I hope you don't dismiss this post immediately. It's important. You don't have to compete all the time, especially when someone starts a "who can be the bigger asshole" competition, because you will lose regardless of the outcome. The only winning move in those is not to play.

posted about 9 years ago