Dear Chaaz,
You need to remember that you're still in your early 20s and theres a lot of life left in you and experiences to have. It may feel like you're pressed up against a wall at your last point, but the truth is right now you're still rolling out to mid on a map you've never played and the score is 0-0. There's so much ahead of you and who knows what could happen and which way you'll go. Your medic may have not be giving you crit heals right now but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do something. Bomb the medic, take out the demo. Do something you can be proud of, but don't just do it because you think it will help your depression. Don't Go volunteer at the shelter with the mindset of helping your depression. Save puppies for the sake of saving puppies. Use your sadness to inspire you to do something, but don't make it the reason why you do it.
-Myles K