i think many people would agree the first community fragvid i made was lacking in many areas (i didn't even use casting essentials LOL).
But you can only improve by actually making videos - obviously edits are a lot more technically challenging to make than fragmovies since you need to put all that attention to detail into every last frame but just like making fragvids that skill only comes with practice, and you can't get that practice if you don't get out there and make videos!
Basically what I'm trying to say is every editor made absolutely trash videos when they first started out (uil used to make club penguin videos in windows movie maker) and to be honest what you produced is really not that bad at all.
I realise this wasn't really the style you were going for but if I had to make a suggestion I'd say keep the video relatively simple and just add a bit of flair here and there to make it stand out. I think that way you'd produce a very satisfying video that many people would enjoy. Completely up to you though, but please don't give up either way!