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ESEA-O S18 Ranks and Predictions: Episode 1 "There's a Snake in my Water"
posted in News
January 12, 2015

London has 0 testicular fortitude. He puts out those little preview articles, all nice and proper like. He doesn't want to step on anyone's toes, just talk about a few of the teams he thinks will do well (no I am not bitter about not being featured).

Real men put themselves out there. Real men aren't afraid to take a stand. REAL MEN MAKE PREDICTIONS AND STAND BY THEM. So here we are, season 18. 60 teams will enter the open arena this season, some won't make it very far. Others will stumble, battered and bruised, just to the shining white pedestal of open playoffs before collapsing, unable to break into that hallowed 16. Only a select few will really have what it takes to play for their entry money back and an invitation to Intermediate next season.

These are my top 10 picks for those teams. We haven't seen a single match, so a lot of this is speculative and I went out on a limb with some of the picks. As the season progresses and I see how teams will match up, I expect this list to change dramatically. Teams are pseudo in order, with a lot of ambiguity in exactly how they will actually match up when they go head to head.

Seendio

  • Caboose
  • smile
  • James Shocka
  • red
  • asianriceguy
  • antwan

If there is going to be a team that goes 16-0 this season, I think the safe money is on Seendio. This team has all the makings of a really solid IM team. A terrifying roamer in James Shocka will keep their opponents afraid to make a move and the backup he gets from a more than capable scout duo in ARG and antwan will more than have his back if he needs to make a quick escape. Although I think Seendio's flank is its most valuable asset, their combo will also be a force to be reckoned with. Smile has the last 4 seasons of IM (including playoffs s17) and some monsterous DM abilities to draw from when he is protecting the skilled caboose, an asset that I think will allow Seendio to convert way more transitions and fights their way.

I am a little concerned that this team hasn't spent much time scrimming, but their first half of the season has no other top 10 teams on it, so they have a while to get their teamwork up to speed. Look for Seendio to make waves if they don't get complacent with their easy schedule.

The Muffin Men

  • Idrae
  • kanon
  • trip
  • Safrix
  • blues
  • Evil MrMuffinz

The Muffin Men felt a little sting to their ego two weeks ago when forum luminary and perennial disappointment Kuhnti "Universe" Jaggesh put them all the way down in Tier Two. I however believe in these 6 men and their ability to surprise us all. I think this is our youngest team in the top 10, with all of the members lacking in a certain amount of experience, but I also think that they will shape up to be an excellent competitor in the league. Their relative inexperience may prompt them to try extra hard this season on improving and cause them to upset quite a few teams on their road to playoffs. My only concern is that their battle is going to be hard fought. They face off against the likes of Blanc, SS and Guado Glories in their first half of the season, with no breaks until the always upset heavy viaduct week. I have no doubts that they can make it to playoffs, even with a rough first half, but to get a decent seed and the chance to make it into the money, they will need to be on their game and in tip top shape starting the 14th, when their first match goes live. Best of luck to them, I want to see this team make it far.

Virgin Police

  • thenoid
  • sam
  • ninjitsu
  • king rab
  • Twinweapons
  • Technasty

A last minute entry into open, the Virgin Police have everything going for them. Oafmeal and Technasty are experienced scouts who have put a lot of time into this game and although this seems to be Oafmeal's first time playing since season 13, I have confidence he can bring it with all the fury a scout hanging with the top 3 crowd needs. The wildcards this season to me will be king rab and thenoid. king rab and the rest of Hell Xpress had a rocky season 15 in IM, and he hasn't played in ESEA since. He will have to bring his A game to keep up with the highly competitive top of open. Thenoid is an old name. A very old name. Featuring on such teams as s5 Blight-TF2 and iDemise in s8, this is a man with no lack of experience. What brought him back from his 10 season slumber is anyone's guess, but he will find a changed game. If this strange crew can bring it together by viaduct week when they face off against #4 SS Fan Club, I can easily see this team being in the top 5.

SS Fan Club

  • phrakture
  • sparrow
  • kayc
  • carolina
  • ss
  • marquee

It was hard for me to not put this team in the top 3 immediately. A "uni approved" T1 team, this powerhouse is definitely not lacking in experience. The obvious takeaways from the roster are Kayc and SS, both of whom have been playing very well in IM and Invite and will be looking to overpower other teams' flanks and make room for their combo to lead strong, well times pushes. I would not be surprised to see this team take a top 3 spot if they can stay together and work as a cohesive unit. For now they take the 4th spot because I am not sure how seriously they will take this season. Their true test will come in metalworks week against #2 Muffin Men. If they hit the scrims hard, use the chemistry that phrakture, ss and sparrow built in Invite/LAN and keep pace with the other teams, I have no problem seeing these guys take a top 4 spot come the finals.

No Need for Names

  • Blackymonster
  • Fearless
  • bunny/???
  • hassassin
  • leaky
  • bunny/????

To be really honest, this is my pick for the team to take the season, with a couple big ifs. If they can get 6, if they can practice, if they want to try, if if if if if. Blackymonster is possibly the single most experienced medic in open this season, and my current bet for medic of the season. Having played basically every season since s3 (including several in Invite), he has a wealth of in game knowledge and leadership experience to tap into when the going gets tough. I do not know the status of this team as it stands on today, the first day of matches, but if they can find themselves a competent 6th to go with the frighteningly accurate leaky and a confident Fearless making plays, I am sure they can contend for a top 4 spot. Until they show that they can pull all of these things together, I really don't see them accomplishing much more than 5th or 6th this season, just keeping out of range of the money.

Guado Glories

  • Nursey
  • Bill
  • connor
  • Giraffe
  • arekk
  • linkuser

One week. That is all Guado Glories gets to prepare for their toughest match of the first 4 regular season weeks. I will write more about that match next week, but this week needs to be all about preparing their combo to hold their ground while their scouts end up doing most of the work. Nursey has been in the last two seasons of open playoffs, and I am sure he is ready to prove IM readiness. I expect this team to put up some good, close results with the top 5 teams, but ultimately fail to convert close fights into wins and move into winning rounds. Look for an always solid performance from Bill, some sick shots from linkuser and Nursey to be a solid, if uninspiring, medic presence. Will it be enough to break them further up? Probably not, but they have 16 games to prove me wrong.

bwatbwatbwat

  • dusk
  • bklaw
  • Rage
  • n00bies
  • bwat
  • salmonbun

I honestly don't know much about the members of this curiously named team, but I have it on good word that their scrim presence is extraordinary. Combine that with a terror inducing, pipe slinging monster of a demoman in n00bies (one that helped his team get a lofty 5th in a loaded season 15), and this is a team that might just pull across a few upsets. For this reason, I am including them in the esteemed company of the top 10. Their core has been playing together for a while now, and if salmonbun and bklaw can clean up on the high damage, high heals style of play n00bies excels at, this team is going places. Not particularly high places, but enough to secure them an IM spot.

Night Owls

  • tetro
  • bears
  • testify
  • sigh
  • airrr
  • owl

The Night Owls is a hard team to predict for. Tipping the scales in their favor is a DM heavy combo in bears and sigh. Their shots and damage output are going to need to be on point, and their inexperienced medical man tetro is going to have to prove himself to be a solid decision maker. I am concerned however, for a certain player tipping the scale, and the table, over on his team. Airrr is an impressive scout, able to get the necessary picks and clean up on all the damage sigh will be putting out in fights. But he has a history of conflicting with teammates and a reputation for being somewhat hard to get along with. Combine this with Owl who, lets be real, is a medic main, and I have my doubts about Night Owl's flank being able to peform up to top 10 standard. This is really going to come down to how well this team can handle a scout duo that may have some friction and growing pains well into the season. Fortunately their first half looks good, but they will need to beat Piss Factory in week 3 to keep a spot on my top 10.

Blanc eSports

  • Tery
  • SpaceCadet
  • Shiki
  • Avast
  • Dango
  • Vortex

Another season, another opportunity for the eternal cant-quite-make-playoffs Tery to finally make it into the post season. At this point I am impressed, 7 seasons later and still just barely coming in under that bubble. But if there were ever going to be a team that can overcome the curse, its going to be this one. Avast is a demo unafraid of leading the charge and putting out incredible dps, a solid pair of soldiers in shiki and SpaceCadet and scouts with a history of doing well should stack the odds in favor of this team. That being said, everyone on this team other than Tery and Shiki have played at least one season of IM, but here at the top of open, that is more of a rule than an exception. I just don't see Blanc being able to put up the wins in the crucial second half of the season. They have an opportunity to prove me wrong week one, on snakewater against Muffin Men, but unless Avast goes crazy, that should go to Idrae and company. Expect this team to stay in playoffs range all season and Tery to finally have his season.

We Never Wipe

  • azn
  • ScrewB
  • AssassinGyru
  • Jaguar
  • Slider
  • Raphiam

We Never Wipe is definitely my dark horse pick. There were so many other options for the #10 spot. Piss Factory, SYOPS, Schrute Farms, Victorious Secret. All these teams have more than the potential to come in the top 10, and I expect this bottom half of the rankings to vary greatly once we hit granary week. That being said, ScrewB and Jaguar have managed to find 4 people with little to no ESEA experience and mold them into a team in record time. At their rate of improvement, I might be looking at moving them up the rankings, not down. That being said, ScrewB will need to keep his cool when the going gets tough, but if he and Jag can lead this team to victory, expect great things. If the four unknowns can make a name for themselves this season and hover around the 7-9th mark come post-season, I can see this team making a good playoff gambit until they meet up against the top 4 teams.

BONUS MATCH OF THE WEEK

Blanc eSports vs The Muffin Men

  • Tery
  • Shiki
  • SpaceCadet
  • Avast
  • Dango
  • Vortex
  • Idrae
  • Trip
  • kanon
  • Safrix
  • Blues
  • Evil MrMuffinz

This match is the only one between two of my top 10 picks this week, but it could not be more mismatched. Both teams really need a win here to start out their season, but Blanc is the team that has more to prove. On snakewater, it is going to come down to organization and pushing power, an area that The Muffin Men possess a distinct advantage. To me, Blanc loses in every category: cohesion, DM, flank presence, uber management, the list could go on. But this is week 1, teams haven't settled into the groove of scrimming and working together on a map. If there were ever going to be a time for Blanc to upset a better team, it was going to be on snakewater. This is a defining moment in the season for Blanc, and The Muffin Men must be careful not to be lulled into complacence because Tery is a man with a lot to prove. Look for a couple scrappy rounds from Blanc and a desperation leading to a long, drawn out game on a notoriously slow map. 2-4 Muffin Men

1
#1
-10 Frags +

im not a medic main

im not a medic main
2
#2
-4 Frags +

we are really overrated in this

we are really overrated in this
3
#3
3 Frags +

Idrae to drop an uber once per match. Expect it.

Idrae to drop an uber once per match. Expect it.
4
#4
-1 Frags +

shdw again posting on tftv instead of working on his surfs

also he knows 3 people in open he put a team with owl on scout in top 10! blasphemy

shdw again posting on tftv instead of working on his surfs

also he knows 3 people in open he put a team with owl on scout in top 10! blasphemy
5
#5
-1 Frags +

muffinz is a god

muffinz is a god
6
#6
-3 Frags +

muffinz is the best scout in open

muffinz is the best scout in open
7
#7
0 Frags +

bring it on shiki

bring it on shiki
8
#8
0 Frags +
universeshdw again posting on tftv instead of working on his surfs

also he knows 3 people in open he put a team with owl on scout in top 10! blasphemy

well someone has to cap all the points

[quote=universe]shdw again posting on tftv instead of working on his surfs

also he knows 3 people in open he put a team with owl on scout in top 10! blasphemy[/quote]

well someone has to cap all the points
9
#9
0 Frags +

The SS Fan Club paragraph is unfinished. You started a sentence and never completed it.

The SS Fan Club paragraph is unfinished. You started a sentence and never completed it.
10
#10
0 Frags +

.

.
11
#11
0 Frags +
radiumThe SS Fan Club paragraph is unfinished. You started a sentence and never completed it.

Fixed, thank you.

[quote=radium]The SS Fan Club paragraph is unfinished. You started a sentence and never completed it.[/quote]

Fixed, thank you.
12
#12
8 Frags +

muffinz sucks

muffinz sucks
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#13
6 Frags +
Mr_Owlim not a medic main

yeah youre a bitch

[quote=Mr_Owl]im not a medic main[/quote]
yeah youre a bitch
14
#14
4 Frags +
UnwittyIdrae to drop an uber once per match. Expect it.

Unwitty calling out uber drops

oh shit

[quote=Unwitty]Idrae to drop an uber once per match. Expect it.[/quote]

Unwitty calling out uber drops

oh shit
15
#15
20 Frags +

as an open player who has scrimmed open teams, some of these are very off

as an open player who has scrimmed open teams, some of these are very off
16
#16
cp_granary_pro
5 Frags +

maxhax's team should do well... MAKE PLAYOFFS DAMNIT
http://play.esea.net/teams/92750

maxhax's team should do well... MAKE PLAYOFFS DAMNIT
http://play.esea.net/teams/92750
17
#17
2 Frags +

Thanks for writing the article. Was a neat read.

Thanks for writing the article. Was a neat read.
18
#18
-15 Frags +
triple_word_scoreas an open player who has scrimmed open teams, some of these are very off

what team are you on!!!??

[quote=triple_word_score]as an open player who has scrimmed open teams, some of these are very off[/quote]
what team are you on!!!??
19
#19
2 Frags +

5-1 muffin men

5-1 muffin men
20
#20
5 Frags +

yes is my team's star scout btw

yes is my team's star scout btw
21
#21
8 Frags +

yes

yes
22
#22
2 Frags +

twinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lol

twinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lol
23
#23
0 Frags +

slightly mentioned hell yeah

slightly mentioned hell yeah
24
#24
1 Frags +

guado glories will prolly win mlg

until nursey gets cut for being a retard in ultiduo again

guado glories will prolly win mlg

until nursey gets cut for being a retard in ultiduo again
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#25
3 Frags +
safrixwhat team are you on!!!??

http://play.esea.net/teams/74716

"why isn't MY team #1" -Matthew "mattyb" "Dmitri the" Dreidel

also someone please pay my team's premium :(

[quote=safrix]
what team are you on!!!??[/quote]
http://play.esea.net/teams/74716

"why isn't MY team #1" -Matthew "mattyb" "Dmitri the" Dreidel

also someone please pay my team's premium :(
26
#26
6 Frags +

http://i.imgur.com/thHmrVE.png

[img]http://i.imgur.com/thHmrVE.png[/img]
27
#27
2 Frags +
Bonerjamzztwinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lolRageyes is my team's start scout btw

which is what happens when your team doesn't have their roster information on their team page, I have to make educated guesses off what people tell me and what I see in sizzling stats for scrims.

[quote=Bonerjamzz]twinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lol[/quote]

[quote=Rage]yes is my team's start scout btw[/quote]

which is what happens when your team doesn't have their roster information on their team page, I have to make educated guesses off what people tell me and what I see in sizzling stats for scrims.
28
#28
3 Frags +
drshdwpuppetBonerjamzztwinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lolRageyes is my team's start scout btw
which is what happens when your team doesn't have their roster information on their team page, I have to make educated guesses off what people tell me and what I see in sizzling stats for scrims.

understandable but...

our team name is bwat

[quote=drshdwpuppet][quote=Bonerjamzz]twinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lol[/quote]

[quote=Rage]yes is my team's start scout btw[/quote]

which is what happens when your team doesn't have their roster information on their team page, I have to make educated guesses off what people tell me and what I see in sizzling stats for scrims.[/quote]
understandable but...

our team name is bwat
29
#29
4 Frags +

great write up.

im predicting antwan to go huge this season and asianriceguy to be mvp.

great write up.

im predicting antwan to go huge this season and asianriceguy to be mvp.
30
#30
2 Frags +
RagedrshdwpuppetBonerjamzztwinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lolRageyes is my team's start scout btw
which is what happens when your team doesn't have their roster information on their team page, I have to make educated guesses off what people tell me and what I see in sizzling stats for scrims.
understandable but...

our team name is bwat

yesyesyes

[quote=Rage][quote=drshdwpuppet][quote=Bonerjamzz]twinweapons is our scout, oaf isnt even paid lol[/quote]

[quote=Rage]yes is my team's start scout btw[/quote]

which is what happens when your team doesn't have their roster information on their team page, I have to make educated guesses off what people tell me and what I see in sizzling stats for scrims.[/quote]
understandable but...

our team name is bwat[/quote]

yesyesyes
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