Just from looking at it, it might make it play more like koth_lakeside's point when pushing into it from the far side of the camera.
I dunno, maybe give both walls a small lip on the top to indicate you still can stand up there but not change the actual amount of dance room?
It looks like it would have some odd sightlines into lobby from forward spawn, would make sniping from there a little too dominant IMO.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/3492731/revenant/cp_metalworks_rc5.bsp
Revised version for this season of ESEA. No changes at middle or last.
Some very slight changes to second to try and make it easier to attack.
-Got rid of the platform on top of the fences, you can still stand on the fences themselves, but you can't just walk around up there without penalty.
-Removed an awning prop that could spam the first choke. Also removed a small ledge, but put a couple pipes there instead. You can still use the pipes for a scout jump from alley to choke, but you can't just sit there without eating spam.
-Adjusted size and location of first forward spawn. Should make sniper sightlines from spawndoor to choke impossible.