So my friend has been looking a bit depressed lately. It wasn't until yesterday that I decided to sit down and talk to her to find out that she recently lost one of her relatives. I also lost my grandfather last year so I felt a lot of sympathy right? So then I told her that it was probably for the better that he had died, she told me he died from cancer, so I said she should be happy instead because at least he's not suffering anymore.
Oh Boi what did I get myself into
She started like a 20 min rant because I said that and apparently I worsened the situation
I'm gonna see her today again and I don't know if I should apologize like did I actually say something wrong? Perhaps it has to do with her religious beliefs? How do I deal with this situation were very good friends and I was trying to make her feel better
So my friend has been looking a bit depressed lately. It wasn't until yesterday that I decided to sit down and talk to her to find out that she recently lost one of her relatives. I also lost my grandfather last year so I felt a lot of sympathy right? So then I told her that it was probably for the better that he had died, she told me he died from cancer, so I said she should be happy instead because at least he's not suffering anymore.
Oh Boi what did I get myself into
She started like a 20 min rant because I said that and apparently I worsened the situation
I'm gonna see her today again and I don't know if I should apologize like did I actually say something wrong? Perhaps it has to do with her religious beliefs? How do I deal with this situation were very good friends and I was trying to make her feel better
mathemaphysicist So then I told her that it was probably for the better that he had died, she told me he died from cancer, so I said she should be happy instead because at least he's not suffering anymore
why the fuck would you say that
just apologize for being insensitive
[quote=mathemaphysicist] So then I told her that it was probably for the better that he had died, she told me he died from cancer, so I said she should be happy instead because at least he's not suffering anymore[/quote]
why the fuck would you say that
just apologize for being insensitive
plz don't victimize yourself, just apologize and if you are as good friend as you say then it'll be fine
plz don't victimize yourself, just apologize and if you are as good friend as you say then it'll be fine
Saying 'you should be happy instead' is like saying 'ik ur grieving rn but these intense emotions ur experiencing are invalid because it was actually good that you lost someone close to you'.
I appreciate that you were trying to see the bright side in it and it seems like you had good intentions but as a general rule don't take that road when speaking to people that are grieving..
Saying 'you should be happy instead' is like saying 'ik ur grieving rn but these intense emotions ur experiencing are invalid because it was actually good that you lost someone close to you'.
I appreciate that you were trying to see the bright side in it and it seems like you had good intentions but as a general rule don't take that road when speaking to people that are grieving..
I'd just go with some classic "I'm there if you wanna talk", and if you are friends try to cheer her up by going into some activities, to take her mind off this stuff. Basically, when people are grieving, you just have to show some support, and do some nice stuff even if they didnt ask for it, like bring her some sweets, cook them a nice meal..
I'd just go with some classic "I'm there if you wanna talk", and if you are friends try to cheer her up by going into some activities, to take her mind off this stuff. Basically, when people are grieving, you just have to show some support, and do some nice stuff even if they didnt ask for it, like bring her some sweets, cook them a nice meal..
Although you fucked up and should apologize, she may not want to you remind her of the topic. So I would go with a "hey i'm really sorry about yesterday" that way you don't directly remind her of the comments you made but still apologize.
Although you fucked up and should apologize, she may not want to you remind her of the topic. So I would go with a "hey i'm really sorry about yesterday" that way you don't directly remind her of the comments you made but still apologize.
Yeah dont say that to a person who just lost someone....
Yeah dont say that to a person who just lost someone....
there are valid ways to say what you said, but it has to be done carefully, and it can depend on variables like religious beliefs that you don't know. if this person yelled at you, most likely you said it completely wrong.
there are valid ways to say what you said, but it has to be done carefully, and it can depend on variables like religious beliefs that you don't know. if this person yelled at you, most likely you said it completely wrong.
I understand your situation because I've done that thing where I just speak my unfiltered thoughts and offend someone, realizing how insensitive I may have been. Even if you do stand by what you said and you didn't mean to offend her, she didn't interpret what you said the same way you did. I say it's best to just explain to her that what you said was really insensitive and that you're sorry, even if you aren't actually.
I understand your situation because I've done that thing where I just speak my unfiltered thoughts and offend someone, realizing how insensitive I may have been. Even if you do stand by what you said and you didn't mean to offend her, she didn't interpret what you said the same way you did. I say it's best to just explain to her that what you said was really insensitive and that you're sorry, even if you aren't actually.
Although you screwed up bad it's fine, we all make mistakes like that, and it's not the end if you do.
First say something like. "Sorry for what I said yesterday... I just wasn't really prepared to handle the situation at that moment. And only when I was able to go back and truly know what I said I realized I said something really hurtful, What I meant to really say was..."
This is your part, if you want something tho Say something like...
Your relative lived a good life right? well I'm sure x relative would want you to live a good life as well and so do others around you, tragedies will always take time to recover but try to make the best out of your life no matter what, as that is what all your loved ones want. And if you need help finding the good in life, ask me and everyone that cares for you to help you out. I just don't want you to be bearing this pain all by yourself...
Something like this can help but honestly if you don't want to say something like this then be apologetic and say that if you want any help i'll be there
Although you screwed up bad it's fine, we all make mistakes like that, and it's not the end if you do.
First say something like. "Sorry for what I said yesterday... I just wasn't really prepared to handle the situation at that moment. And only when I was able to go back and truly know what I said I realized I said something really hurtful, What I meant to really say was..."
This is your part, if you want something tho Say something like...
Your relative lived a good life right? well I'm sure x relative would want you to live a good life as well and so do others around you, tragedies will always take time to recover but try to make the best out of your life no matter what, as that is what all your loved ones want. And if you need help finding the good in life, ask me and everyone that cares for you to help you out. I just don't want you to be bearing this pain all by yourself...
Something like this can help but honestly if you don't want to say something like this then be apologetic and say that if you want any help i'll be there
stop sperging out over your own feelings and think about hers for a minute
stop sperging out over your own feelings and think about hers for a minute
depends if ur tryna smash or nah
depends if ur tryna smash or nah
capnnofapndepends if ur tryna smash or nah
:/
[quote=capnnofapn]depends if ur tryna smash or nah[/quote]
:/
Way too many words. It's not about you. To recover: "I apologize for being insensitive yesterday. I'm here for you if you need me."
Focus on what she says/feels, not on your own emotions and history.
Way too many words. It's not about you. To recover: "I apologize for being insensitive yesterday. I'm here for you if you need me."
Focus on what she says/feels, not on your own emotions and history.
this is typical orbiter behavior
this is typical orbiter behavior
yo you just dont say hey "im glad someone died" thats fucked up
yo you just dont say hey "im glad someone died" thats fucked up
mathemaphysicistSo then I told her that it was probably for the better that he had died
lol
[quote=mathemaphysicist]So then I told her that it was probably for the better that he had died[/quote]
lol
I think u should insist in your opinion and actually make that fool apologize to you for being a dick!
I think u should insist in your opinion and actually make that fool apologize to you for being a dick!
"at least you dont have to listen to you complaining about it"
"at least you dont have to listen to you complaining about it"
what was your series of thoughts that you had to post this here?
do you have no friends to ask or did you want a third opinion?
like shit if i made a fucking faux pas that dumb i wouldnt wanna tell a whole forum of people
what was your series of thoughts that you had to post this here?
do you have no friends to ask or did you want a third opinion?
like shit if i made a fucking faux pas that dumb i wouldnt wanna tell a whole forum of people
alderwhat was your series of thoughts that you had to post this here?
do you have no friends to ask or did you want a third opinion?
like shit if i made a fucking faux pas that dumb i wouldnt wanna tell a whole forum of people
sometimes people spaghetti way too hard and it has to overflow somewhere
[quote=alder]what was your series of thoughts that you had to post this here?
do you have no friends to ask or did you want a third opinion?
like shit if i made a fucking faux pas that dumb i wouldnt wanna tell a whole forum of people[/quote]
sometimes people spaghetti way too hard and it has to overflow somewhere
Yes, you did say something wrong. But dont make a victim out of yourself, just apologize and if you are good friends then you should be able to pick up on if she wants to talk or not. If she doesnt want to just tell her that you are a friend and that you are around if she needs anyone to talk to and leave her alone. A lot of this is pretty basic, but there isnt really any more to it than this.
Yes, you did say something wrong. But dont make a victim out of yourself, just apologize and if you are good friends then you should be able to pick up on if she wants to talk or not. If she doesnt want to just tell her that you are a friend and that you are around if she needs anyone to talk to and leave her alone. A lot of this is pretty basic, but there isnt really any more to it than this.