Unsurprisingly, I'm a very lonely person. I have always had a bit of an anti-social attitude, had very very few friends compared to what is the norm, and have always found it difficult keeping friends once I make them.
In my experience there's always been this unspoken rule where, once you're a part of a social circle or just have a few really close friends, you don't even need to explicitly ask "Hey do you want to hang out today?" You sort of reach a stage with those kinds of people in your life where it's taken for granted that you'll be meeting, and the group chat always starts with "Yo what are we doing today?" or "Guys I'm doing this later, who's joining me?"
I feel I've reached a point where I no longer have a group of friends I can assume I'll be meeting up with constantly, and I'm stuck in a stage where if I want to meet up with someone, I have to swallow my pride and awkwardly start the conversation with a "Hey! How've you been? You busy today?", to which my attempts as of late have always been met with a "Yeah I'm meeting up with someone else today, sorry bro" or a "I think I'm gonna stay home today man, maybe some other time". When I try this in my old group chats, I'm often just left on seen.
I had a small group of friends I knew through skating I haven't seen in months, ever since I completely lost all of my interest in skateboarding. It sucks that I can't maintain my friendship with them because I no longer engage in this hobby which formed the basis of our friendship. At the same time it frustrates me that they never ever want to meet up if it's not to go skateboarding.
Thankfully I have a girlfriend whom I love dearly and meet up with constantly. Still though, I think it would be asking too much of someone to expect them to be content with meeting up solely with their partner. I'm also horribly distant from most of my family. I don't get along with most of them too well, except for my mom. At home I spend a majority of my time locked away in my room nonetheless, though.
At the end this loneliness doesn't destroy me. I really don't feel like all this loneliness makes me depressed or too horribly upset. There's just a sense of yearning for connections as each day passes and I realize it's another night spent inside. I wrote this really to get it off my chest, and maybe some of you guys can relate and want to share your experiences too. Loneliness is a very human experience and happens to the best of us. Hopefully your troubles with loneliness aren't so bad either :)
Unsurprisingly, I'm a very lonely person. I have always had a bit of an anti-social attitude, had very very few friends compared to what is the norm, and have always found it difficult keeping friends once I make them.
In my experience there's always been this unspoken rule where, once you're a part of a social circle or just have a few really close friends, you don't even need to explicitly ask "Hey do you want to hang out today?" You sort of reach a stage with those kinds of people in your life where it's taken for granted that you'll be meeting, and the group chat always starts with "Yo what are we doing today?" or "Guys I'm doing this later, who's joining me?"
I feel I've reached a point where I no longer have a group of friends I can assume I'll be meeting up with constantly, and I'm stuck in a stage where if I want to meet up with someone, I have to swallow my pride and awkwardly start the conversation with a "Hey! How've you been? You busy today?", to which my attempts as of late have always been met with a "Yeah I'm meeting up with someone else today, sorry bro" or a "I think I'm gonna stay home today man, maybe some other time". When I try this in my old group chats, I'm often just left on seen.
I had a small group of friends I knew through skating I haven't seen in months, ever since I completely lost all of my interest in skateboarding. It sucks that I can't maintain my friendship with them because I no longer engage in this hobby which formed the basis of our friendship. At the same time it frustrates me that they never ever want to meet up if it's not to go skateboarding.
Thankfully I have a girlfriend whom I love dearly and meet up with constantly. Still though, I think it would be asking too much of someone to expect them to be content with meeting up solely with their partner. I'm also horribly distant from most of my family. I don't get along with most of them too well, except for my mom. At home I spend a majority of my time locked away in my room nonetheless, though.
At the end this loneliness doesn't destroy me. I really don't feel like all this loneliness makes me depressed or too horribly upset. There's just a sense of yearning for connections as each day passes and I realize it's another night spent inside. I wrote this really to get it off my chest, and maybe some of you guys can relate and want to share your experiences too. Loneliness is a very human experience and happens to the best of us. Hopefully your troubles with loneliness aren't so bad either :)
This is relatable except the girlfriend part
This is relatable except the girlfriend part
honest to god just force yourself to go out, u dont realize how many opportunities u miss sitting in ur room lol
idk if ur in uni or working or whatever but if u make an effort its really surprising how easily u can meet cool ppl and make friends from class and shit like that
i used to be the same way and just be on my phone w/ headphones before and after class and didnt think anything of it but then realized obviously im never gonna talk to ppl and make friends doin that, gotta make a conscious effort to be social
def relatable, a little of me dies inside every time i stay in on the weekend and play pugs/jump maps or whatever (i made myself not play at all last weekend n surprise surprise actually met up with ppl and did my work and was happier lol)
honest to god just force yourself to go out, u dont realize how many opportunities u miss sitting in ur room lol
idk if ur in uni or working or whatever but if u make an effort its really surprising how easily u can meet cool ppl and make friends from class and shit like that
i used to be the same way and just be on my phone w/ headphones before and after class and didnt think anything of it but then realized obviously im never gonna talk to ppl and make friends doin that, gotta make a conscious effort to be social
def relatable, a little of me dies inside every time i stay in on the weekend and play pugs/jump maps or whatever (i made myself not play at all last weekend n surprise surprise actually met up with ppl and did my work and was happier lol)
i haven't talked to anyone except my mother or father in months. our experiences with loneliness differ
i haven't talked to anyone except my mother or father in months. our experiences with loneliness differ
Hey Snack I think you're a wonderful person. I just want you to be happy. I believe in you. Pm me if you ever need anything.
Hey Snack I think you're a wonderful person. I just want you to be happy. I believe in you. Pm me if you ever need anything.
i hate being alone but i also hate talking to people
i hate being alone but i also hate talking to people
[youtube]https://youtu.be/n3Xv_g3g-mA[/youtube]
how are you not making friends, meeting and hanging out with you at i61 was amazing
how are you not making friends, meeting and hanging out with you at i61 was amazing
you ever wanna talk to someone online, but feel like you'd be bothering them
you ever wanna talk to someone online, but feel like you'd be bothering them
one time i had a dream that i married the girl who brought me delivery pizza that day
one time i had a dream that i married the girl who brought me delivery pizza that day
I used to be able to relate to this up until I started going out with people again and experiencing how shallow a lot of it felt. Personally I feel like I've been spoiled from LAN and meet ups with online friends to a point where unless their personality is really entertaining I can't remain interested and start looking at my phone instead. This hit me the hardest when I got home after hanging out with an internet friend and his friend, we were at a convention for 3 days and even though none of us drank, it was the most fun I've ever had in my life despite the con just being sorta meh. This has resulted in me resorting to getting drunk quickly when out with old friends in order to avoid dwelling over past experiences and just focusing on living in the moment. I have therefore not been going out with friends a whole lot the last year. I still like hanging out with some people I've met through my music class but mostly only when we're jamming. I am still pretty content though as I have a lot of fun voice chatting with some funny guys every day and I also have music to record when I get bored of them :)
I used to be able to relate to this up until I started going out with people again and experiencing how shallow a lot of it felt. Personally I feel like I've been spoiled from LAN and meet ups with online friends to a point where unless their personality is really entertaining I can't remain interested and start looking at my phone instead. This hit me the hardest when I got home after hanging out with an internet friend and his friend, we were at a convention for 3 days and even though none of us drank, it was the most fun I've ever had in my life despite the con just being sorta meh. This has resulted in me resorting to getting drunk quickly when out with old friends in order to avoid dwelling over past experiences and just focusing on living in the moment. I have therefore not been going out with friends a whole lot the last year. I still like hanging out with some people I've met through my music class but mostly only when we're jamming. I am still pretty content though as I have a lot of fun voice chatting with some funny guys every day and I also have music to record when I get bored of them :)
hamahamstuff
this is so relatable and i think you hit the point for me- i live thousands of miles from my best friends. i love los angeles but it's really difficult for me to not get immediately bored with the people i meet there unless they're VERY invested in gaming/esports. ive been so incredibly spoiled online/lan to be around these great personalities who love the same things that i do, and after a while people irl ("normies") seem really boring, to the point where it's heavily effected my dating life and i just straight don't bother. lonliness is looming there every day, waiting for me to wake up alone again, waiting for me to leave mumble when everyone goes to bed (timezones amirite). in a weird way it is comforting to know im not the only one living with these problems.
[quote=hamaham]stuff[/quote]
this is so relatable and i think you hit the point for me- i live thousands of miles from my best friends. i love los angeles but it's really difficult for me to not get immediately bored with the people i meet there unless they're VERY invested in gaming/esports. ive been so incredibly spoiled online/lan to be around these great personalities who love the same things that i do, and after a while people irl ("normies") seem really boring, to the point where it's heavily effected my dating life and i just straight don't bother. lonliness is looming there every day, waiting for me to wake up alone again, waiting for me to leave mumble when everyone goes to bed (timezones amirite). in a weird way it is comforting to know im not the only one living with these problems.
Think it gets harder to meet new people as you get older, especially as you move around and your mates move.Well, until you realise that there are a lot of people with similar interests out there and in the same boat. When I moved away for work I was bored for a few months but then I started playing 5aside football and met people that way. Feels pretty odd as a grown man to ask another man for his number.
Just takes putting yourself out there though really.
Think it gets harder to meet new people as you get older, especially as you move around and your mates move.Well, until you realise that there are a lot of people with similar interests out there and in the same boat. When I moved away for work I was bored for a few months but then I started playing 5aside football and met people that way. Feels pretty odd as a grown man to ask another man for his number.
Just takes putting yourself out there though really.
Try bumble bff. It might seem stupid, but give it a shot. When I moved to Portland late last year I knew 0 people, and my work doesn't require collaboration at all really. The app might be shitty for dating, but I quickly met some people in a similar boat as me on the bff mode.
As others have noted, comfort is familiarity. If you want the unfamiliar in meeting new people and experiencing new things, you have to embrace the uncomfortable, at least for a night here or there... Before going home and grinding your favorite video games!
Try bumble bff. It might seem stupid, but give it a shot. When I moved to Portland late last year I knew 0 people, and my work doesn't require collaboration at all really. The app might be shitty for dating, but I quickly met some people in a similar boat as me on the bff mode.
As others have noted, comfort is familiarity. If you want the unfamiliar in meeting new people and experiencing new things, you have to embrace the uncomfortable, at least for a night here or there... Before going home and grinding your favorite video games!
[img]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/387764227965976579/550428446384193658/tf2.png[/img]
I enjoy interacting with people, but I'm terrible at reaching out and connecting with people. The friends I have right now are the same ones I made in middle school, and I haven't really made a new one since. I'm scared that eventually we're gonna grow apart and I'm not going to have anyone I can really call a friend
I enjoy interacting with people, but I'm terrible at reaching out and connecting with people. The friends I have right now are the same ones I made in middle school, and I haven't really made a new one since. I'm scared that eventually we're gonna grow apart and I'm not going to have anyone I can really call a friend
this year i moved from my old city because of uni, and let me tell you, here i realized that i really need human interaction. especially that i broke up with my ex of half a year just before me moving out, so i really was let alone, in a new city, with noone i know except my flatmate, who is a really great guy, he likes gaming, smokes weed as well as me, and we play the same instrument, so we really click, the only problem is, he is 6 years older than me, and he is always busy with work, so he really can't hang out as much as we would want to. when he got his new job and got super busy, i was really feeling lonely, and one night i bought myself 2,5 litres of beer and a .5 vodka, because the other people i talk to, didn't want to come out for some reason with me. i got piss drunk, alone in my room, even broke my bong. then i realised, that i started to bury my loneliness in alcohol, and it was getting out of hand. now i'm doing a lot better since that night, i try to have self control, but it's still hard to say no to booze. and on the other hand, my best bud, who is 400 km's from me anyways, is thinking about moving from romania to england next year, so if he does that, i am let completely alone. sucks to be me i guess
(sorry for my bad grammar and typos, but english isn't my main language, hope it's bearable)
this year i moved from my old city because of uni, and let me tell you, here i realized that i really need human interaction. especially that i broke up with my ex of half a year just before me moving out, so i really was let alone, in a new city, with noone i know except my flatmate, who is a really great guy, he likes gaming, smokes weed as well as me, and we play the same instrument, so we really click, the only problem is, he is 6 years older than me, and he is always busy with work, so he really can't hang out as much as we would want to. when he got his new job and got super busy, i was really feeling lonely, and one night i bought myself 2,5 litres of beer and a .5 vodka, because the other people i talk to, didn't want to come out for some reason with me. i got piss drunk, alone in my room, even broke my bong. then i realised, that i started to bury my loneliness in alcohol, and it was getting out of hand. now i'm doing a lot better since that night, i try to have self control, but it's still hard to say no to booze. and on the other hand, my best bud, who is 400 km's from me anyways, is thinking about moving from romania to england next year, so if he does that, i am let completely alone. sucks to be me i guess
(sorry for my bad grammar and typos, but english isn't my main language, hope it's bearable)
samifacehamahamstuff
this is so relatable and i think you hit the point for me- i live thousands of miles from my best friends. i love los angeles but it's really difficult for me to not get immediately bored with the people i meet there unless they're VERY invested in gaming/esports. ive been so incredibly spoiled online/lan to be around these great personalities who love the same things that i do, and after a while people irl ("normies") seem really boring, to the point where it's heavily effected my dating life and i just straight don't bother. lonliness is looming there every day, waiting for me to wake up alone again, waiting for me to leave mumble when everyone goes to bed (timezones amirite). in a weird way it is comforting to know im not the only one living with these problems.
funny because i thought the exact opposite from my lan experiences. I went because I loved the game and wanted to compete and do my best, everyone else went to be shitfaced and drink beers and hang out outside talking about random stuff and not take the actual event like a competition at all... which is exactly what "normies" do.
Sure it was matches played at around div4 etf2l level and win or lose the world ain't gonna stop turning, but still, i invest money and time to come and play and then nobody cares. If I wanted to be friends with other players or teammates I'd have done so online, just like I did with some of them. But having small talk in front of a bad burger about the insane airshot someone just hit in the previous round? No thanks.
@Snack : relatable. I think it's just that all those people in your groups are drifting apart because they are all different, and the thing that kept them together (uni, tf2, childhood spent together, etc) isn't there anymore. Not much to do but moving on and pursue your interests.
[quote=samiface][quote=hamaham]stuff[/quote]
this is so relatable and i think you hit the point for me- i live thousands of miles from my best friends. i love los angeles but it's really difficult for me to not get immediately bored with the people i meet there unless they're VERY invested in gaming/esports. ive been so incredibly spoiled online/lan to be around these great personalities who love the same things that i do, and after a while people irl ("normies") seem really boring, to the point where it's heavily effected my dating life and i just straight don't bother. lonliness is looming there every day, waiting for me to wake up alone again, waiting for me to leave mumble when everyone goes to bed (timezones amirite). in a weird way it is comforting to know im not the only one living with these problems.[/quote]
funny because i thought the exact opposite from my lan experiences. I went because I loved the game and wanted to compete and do my best, everyone else went to be shitfaced and drink beers and hang out outside talking about random stuff and not take the actual event like a competition at all... which is exactly what "normies" do.
Sure it was matches played at around div4 etf2l level and win or lose the world ain't gonna stop turning, but still, i invest money and time to come and play and then nobody cares. If I wanted to be friends with other players or teammates I'd have done so online, just like I did with some of them. But having small talk in front of a bad burger about the insane airshot someone just hit in the previous round? No thanks.
@Snack : relatable. I think it's just that all those people in your groups are drifting apart because they are all different, and the thing that kept them together (uni, tf2, childhood spent together, etc) isn't there anymore. Not much to do but moving on and pursue your interests.
anyone ever get that thing where someone tries to talk to you or flirt with u and ur anxiety says they're making fun of u so u blank them out clean
I love interacting with my friends and I make friends via friends (far too loud to b ignored) but I swear to god whenever someone I don't know tries to talk to me I'm the absolute worst
anyone ever get that thing where someone tries to talk to you or flirt with u and ur anxiety says they're making fun of u so u blank them out clean
I love interacting with my friends and I make friends via friends (far too loud to b ignored) but I swear to god whenever someone I don't know tries to talk to me I'm the absolute worst
Mouldanyone ever get that thing where someone tries to talk to you or flirt with u
nope
[quote=Mould]anyone ever get that thing where someone tries to talk to you or flirt with u[/quote]
nope