broom

grab a thick blanket you dont mind losing, and rap the the cat in it. Then through the blanket out the door with the cat inside it. if ur lucky u can go grab the blanket once the cat is gone

get a rabies shot if you get bit, no joke

its a cat just run at it pussy

water spray if its being rude.
otherwise broom, blanket (best bet)
take care of the bud, it probably has nothing better to do as well

shoot it in the leg or taze it

man fuck this when i try to go grab him he just starts hissing and swatting me with his paws he won't let me carry him

i could easily kill it my man but i'm looking for a cruelty free solution

The average housecat weighs like 3~5 lbs, my dude, just corner and nab it with the blanket and drop it off at a shelter or something.

im not telling u to kill it, im saying itll most likely run away if you run at it (and not corner it)
just get it to jump off the balcony by walking at it and banging on some shit (tell ur neighbors to suck you off if they ask wtf youre doing at 3am)

go get a dog

Give it a little coaster of milk, rub his head, adopt him, enjoy new best friend

i'm thinking about grabbing a plastic basket that i have and just putting it over him and pinning it to the ground, then just sliding it all the way to my door

i live on the fourth floor man i can't do him like that

Real talk if you got bitten get it checked out. A house cat once bit me on the hand and I was in the hospital for 3 days with the infection.

Having actually had to catch a cat in a similar situation daybreak's answer is what I'd go with.

wow this worked, he made it safely out my front door, now i'll have to go clean the shit and piss he left in my balcony and fix up the hole he made in the roof
thanks everyone and good night!