So one of the challenges of doing a cast while also doing camera is having to generalize your calls "Red team is moving in" and "Oh look the medic has died." In a cast production where someone else is doing the camera work, the words you share need to be a lot more in tune with the action, meaning it would be best to quickly read whose name you're following, and just commentate over their actions like "griff pushed the soldier off in Valley but is getting dangerously low on health, he's making his escape but oh no the scout chipped him off" and so forth. This is tough even for me when it comes to mid fights because so many different fights are going on simultaneously, but to avoid confusion just stick to 1 and hope it succeeds, or find a quick transition to talk about another person who is actually doing some interesting action.
note: on the second mid you did a much better job of handling the mid casting. That's the way it should be done so that what you say is coherent with what the viewers are watching (which is also easier when someone else is focusing on camera work).

Piggy-backing off that, when covering a last push it's best to follow the person leading the uber, or maybe covering the action from someone on defense who is fighting those not part of the uber (whether they're far back enough that the uber has faded, or they're fighting from a different entrance, attacking soldiers/scouts that came after the uber). Here there was again kind of a generalized call in the first round when red pushed last.

Overall your enthusiasm is nice, although around 18:37 when the medic is fighting in lobby, I thought he was putting up a pretty good fight. I wouldn't sell any player short if they're trying to pull off a miracle, and having hype to reflect that miracle (even if it's obvious one player will die) is what gets chat excited about things. Talking down on the action before it's even finished detaches the hype from a moment that could potentially be a huge play.

Around 20 minutes in after you switch to nygma's POV, a sack attempt was being made by Walrex, which you said was "to no avail" despite there being an opening for the red scout to get a pick onto liam. It's important that your words are also part of the truth of the matter, it's nice to hold onto buzz words when casting but don't jump the gun and say "Oh he died, so nothing happened" when as a matter of fact there was a pick.

When you started casting the next bomb from Walrex, pretty much everything about that was done really well.

Right after the blue team used an uber in lobby shortly after 22 minutes, you used your catchphrase "to no avail" again, it's tough but really important to kinda stray away from repeating lines. I struggle with it from time to time because my brain just can't think of synonyms in the moment, but this is a skill that is very valuable when casting long games; having the capacity to describe similar situations with different words, different inflection, to kinda match the tone of the game.
Another thing you say after the blue uber fades and blue caps second is "blue is gonna potentially take another round" which according to the uber situation, is not really verifiable. When the push advantages have switched sides, it's important to kinda talk about the narrative of the match from the perspective of the team with push advantage, so one thing you could do at that point is say "blue has captured second, so now red has an opportunity to move out of last with this uber advantage" or something to that effect.

I loved how you described how liam should use his ubers more valiantly. I don't know why, that was funny.

Really good job following the soldiers into the backlines of the last push around 25:50, it was a really good catch, but they were both shut down and you covered it well enough. I would've probably tried to match the hype of the demoman single-handedly knocking them both out, but otherwise really good eye for following the action on the last push.

When it comes to covering a backcap done successfully, the words "did tibby cap accidentally" don't come to mind. While it's crazy sometimes when a backcap is pulled off, try to use some other words to describe it.

Around the 28 minute mark after the medic on red drops uber, you kinda go into this state of delirium covering the sack attempt by Walrex and AAAAAA, which really doesn't fit the action. Maybe I'm polarizing it too much when I say the words have to match the tone of the game, but covering the bomb from walrex or the in-your-face shots by AAAAAA would've been good, rather than focusing on "I was right! Liam died first! Mwahahahaha"

When liam kills the medic somewhere around 30:55, I found it funny that you said "liam finally gets a kill for the first time" which while it may or may not be true, is kinda bully. You can make one-off comments if you want to, when talking about a player, but focusing on how bad someone is playing detracts from the commentary.

Awesome job at 31:30 predicting the flank from alley, and the absolute destruction of the team capping the point. This was well commentated, both in prediction, and when it actually happened the "oh my gawwwd" at the despair of blue team getting mulched. Very nice.

While the scoreboard can sometimes speak truth about how well someone is playing (single digit points for liam), saying a demoman sucks because he's at the bottom of the scoreboard also isn't verifiable (especially since I remember him pulling off a solid defense against the blue soldiers). You gotta use your memory within the scope of a match to decide whether or not someone is performing well or not, and scoreboards should only be supporting evidence of that, rather than acting as the truth of their talent.

You kinda went silent during the red push into last around 33:20.

And the next red push into last around 40 minutes.

Overall your energy is kinda all over the place, I do think matching the pace/tone of the action is what makes a commentary really good, if a frag surprises you, share that expression. If a play is absolutely amazing, let your commentary reflect that.

Thanks for sharing

no thank you for sharing, rowrow.

That was perhaps the greatest advice I have ever received about my casting in my entire life. I’ll send you more if you wish. You actually taught me important things I can actually work on!