I'm genuinely not. Anything I said I said literally because I was being either encouraged to or outright instructed to. There's literally proof of that in several of the screenshots posted.

I understand most of you are entering this thread having already decided I'm Guilty and probably determined to hate me, a complete stranger to you, regardless. But like, come on. At least work a little bit for the zinger. This shit's gettin' old.

I hope you develop critical thinking. And reading comprehension. And, like, a spine that prevents you from thoughtlessly participating in a witch hunt, or at least makes you good enough at it not to pretend like "Parting Words" isn't the god damn title of the thread.

Goodbye, Firepow. It was real for all of five minutes.

I'm not, dipshit. What part of "Parting Words" do you not understand? I was only correcting the record, 'cause that "someone" is in several of these screenshots literally instructing me to keep doing it.

Even so, it's not like I'd actually be allowed back even if the people who banned me knew or cared that I was innocent of the accusation in question. I've already acknowledged this. Even if allowed back, what exactly is left for me? Most of you don't like me, and I don't like most of you.

Pretty much. The first two, three seasons were about the happiest I've ever been and marked the most positive growth for me. 4 and 5 just turned out to be ruthlessly depressing, a real "Lose Everything You Love & Value" typical tragedy type beat. Probably could have avoided it bleeding over to TF2 if I'd been a little less of a suicidal crashout, though.

I was more referring to the original accusation that happened in CO and started this unholy spiral, tbh. That's all anyone seems to actually care about.

And you're missing the point. Thread's already titled "parting words". Correcting the record insofar as my actions as a TF2 player was its only purpose, which has been done. I didn't do this expecting to be unbanned, lmao. I know that ain't happening and again, I really don't like most of you. The feeling is largely mutual.

This is, in fact, what moving on looks like. A reasonable correction of an egregious lie, some apologies, and a farewell. Let it die.

Actually, none of the above. I clearly stated the purpose of these screenshots, which was to prove that the accuser within the TF2 community was very literally entrapping me by coaxing those messages out of me for a period of two years, and that they used it to take two friends in November prior to the escalation to the perma last month. I'm incredibly mortified to share those DMs because as I've already said, I Know they don't make me look good, but for such an abhorrent accusation, "sexual harassment & threats of harm", I needed to prove a consistent pattern of encouragement for the content in question. I have done so.

If you were capable of nuance, you'd perhaps even see that I'm genuinely only saying those things because I'm trying to keep the redacted party's interest, and that my actual intentions of Chill Friend Shit are clear. I reduced myself to an object because that seemed to be the only thing they wanted me for. And it was, but not for the reasons I thought.

The functional purpose is simple: setting the record straight. I simply do not speak in such ways to people without direct encouragement, but there was hardly a way to prove that behavior was encouraged without sharing evidence of [redacted]'s own behavior.

That's...not what the CO FGC community accused me of. To my knowledge the extent that goes is "arm touching" and points of "making people uncomfortable" in person, with no incidents directly cited to me as an accusation. It's kind of impossible to prove something simply didn't happen as described, especially when who/what/when/why have all been intentionally obfuscated from you so you can't even get an alibi or hope to explain what you were actually doing at the time.

At least criminal complaints have a burden of proof, and Due Process for the defense. Mob justice follows no such rules.

more like she's proving mine. no retort AND no evidence. I've shared mine, where's y'alls? I keep being told it exists in abundance but no one seems willing or able to present it. it's almost like this is a witch hunt and not one of you are capable of proving otherwise. :x

already explained Why like 20 different times, including in OP, please use your eyes

but as for "suicide baiting"
it's more the nature of the accusations that made (past tense) me wanna die about it, not the games themselves. as much as I love both titles, I also genuinely fucking hate them, as any reasonable player should. I love having excuses not to play Tekken or TF2.

but in the case of Tekken, losing basically my entire community in Colorado? in the case of TF2, losing a decade-long competitive career and at least tainting myself in the eyes of a community with AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE I loved & respected?

shit sucks. no one wants a fuckin permanent red flag over their name, especially when they know they don't deserve it. you wouldn't be happy in my position, either.

again, it makes me wish I'd actually done what I was accused of, that way I'd actually have something to grow from. but I didn't, so I don't, and have simply been thrown into the torment nexus for fun and/or kicks.

Probably, yeah. Even if I was unbanned after a private appeal as I hoped back when I still thought RGL administration might actually treat this fairly behind closed doors, I knew things would never ever be the same for me. Even without accusations, I've been a jackass all too willing to argue with too many people at once, make other parties more uncomfortable when I'm made uncomfortable, and I acknowledge that.

But the truth matters. And the truth is the receipts that definitively prove my guilt don't fucking exist, and one of the two worst accusations ever made against me can be conclusively proven as a case of entrapment.

That's at least some comfort for me. Honestly I don't even like most of you. It's not like I was begging to be let back in because of all the new friends I made. I made at most five, and I didn't even manage to trust any of them because [redacted]'s fuck shit made me a paranoid jackass who wouldn't stop taking fights.

There's at least closure this way. And the hope, however slim, that someone who once knew me or once cared may see this, know I'm still the kind, fair person they thought I was, and not assume the worst of me based off a witch hunt.

Fool's errand, yes, but. I'm a fool. No one else was gonna do it.

And not really, but. I felt the need to prove the communications were solicited consistently and repeatedly, which the screenshots do. I already said I'm fucking mortified by it, but at this point, I'm the only party that's actually posted their fucking receipts, so...what was I supposed to do? Make a defense without evidence?

The mortifying contents is also why I elected to censor the accuser's name, though. My reputation is already torched before I made this post, setting the ashes aflame really doesn't make a difference besides seeing what color they burn. But I saw no reason to put them in a similar position, though I do think those who would defend or empathize with me probably wouldn't resort to the same level of harassment I've already experienced.

Hell, some of you monsters would realistically just harass both of us. No point encouraging that. I do still have principles, even as it becomes obvious no one around me does.

Still 29! And again, take accountability for what exactly? I'm still waiting for All That Evidence everyone apparently has. I've posted my fucking receipts, what about you? I'm not stopping you. By all means, please, give me something I cannot reasonably excuse. List names. Share screenshots and redact appropriately. Wouldn't it be so satisfying to say something I Can't argue against? To permanently & completely destroy my defense for my character?

I ain't baiting shit. Again, if you want me dead, do it yourself or don't be a bitch. I'm not giving you losers a free kill. Stain your soul, catch that charge.

may the "tons of girls" please stand up? like actually, I genuinely don't fucking know who besides [redacted] you could even be referencing, and even in that case the "creepy stuff" was directly solicited.

and I've self reflected plenty. unfortunately, being innocent of the accusations made means that there's nothing to learn from being genuinely and completely demonized on a mass scale. like, FFS, actually expose me. please! at least then I could justify the distress I've been put in.

but you won't. because you can't. the evidence doesn't exist, and where it does it's easily refuted by what context has been removed.

but it's easier to participate in a witch hunt than actually recognize a person as human, so. it's not like I expect anything better from you.

It's actually not about that for me. Not about TF2, or Tekken.

It's about two things. "Thwarted sense of belonging", which is recognized as one of the most common & valid reasons for men to determine their life has no meaning, and "reputation, I guess".

I made a consistent effort to be good to people, inside and outside of game, no matter the game, for effectively my entire life. Being painted as a genuine monster despite that effort is existentially crushing in ways I'm not sure anyone is capable of comprehending unless they're actually in my position. Also a bunch of other things is wrong with my life, but having effectively no escape into my most passionate pursuits or the two competitive communities I cared most for is still genuinely devastating.

Honestly, I wish it was something I actually did, so I'd actually feel guilt or shame from which I could grow & reform. When you become an Acceptable Target despite knowing in your heart you only ever behaved in good faith...it's a distinctly hollowing feeling. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. All it proves to me is either God does not exist, or God does exist and is simply cruel. Either way...there's really nothing I can do. About anything, really.

Just to prove in the case of the TF2 accusation, anything I said was literally directly encouraged for two years of a five year friendship, making the accusation a clear-cut case of entrapment. I had many reservations about posting this, but ultimately decided that ANY defense was better than just allowing the official accusation to sit unchallenged. Especially if I do die any time in the near future, I'd like there to be at least a reasonable doubt that I was genuinely the monster administration didn't hesitate painting me as.

I was here for 13 years, after all. I'd hate for an old friend to reappear, be like, "What happened to Contra?", find the ban message, and then be unable to even ask what happened because I'm already dead. I figured I may as well have A contingency for that.

Comparatively, the Tekken shit is purely "he said, she said", and no definitive evidence exists that would prove either my guilt or my innocence. While my friends from the CO FGC largely still have lanes of communication open with me, including keeping me "Friended" on some platforms, even the ones who believe me stopped talking to me a very long time ago. I gave up on any semblance of justice or understanding on that front a long time ago.