words that should not be true:

a medic just got bombed successfully by a heavy in 6s.

words that are absolutely true:

a medic just got bombed successfully by a heavy in 6s.

no 2fort in ESEA, boink guaranteed to lose

the second he makes a full-on proper frag video, I will inject it directly into my eyeballs so it's all I see

for a while I used to go on tumblr, and at one point during that time I accidentally clicked on a tag while trying to drag it to the side (which was always a dumb feature). the tag itself was "spermatozoa" (which is exactly what it implies), and of the ~5 things that were up at the time, this was one of them

in a complete showcase of my maturity, the phrase "papa stain" was so incredibly funny to me, that it became an inside joke for a while, and then I changed my username on there to it, which I assumed would have been temporary. and then... it wasn't temporary? never knew why I never bothered to change it, but I've used it basically everywhere else so whatever

just so we're clear on this: my username straight-up came from a picture of sperm

http://www.reddit.com/r/GlobalOffensive/comments/1k8r2l/large_csgo_item_schema_update_was_just_pushed/
http://www.reddit.com/r/GlobalOffensive/comments/1k8r2l/large_csgo_item_schema_update_was_just_pushed/cbmhneq

push them crates up

(the wild guess about weapon looks customization would actually be pretty cool for TF2, which is why it will never happen)

if you can find a store that has all of the types of switches in a mech. keyboard that you can actually test, then you have no need for the recommendations of idiot nerds like me, welcome to heaven.

I believe the most quiet ones are either red or brown? correct me if I'm wrong on that

oh man, that sounds like fun. I'd be down for playing a map like that

one thing I've always wanted out of a map is to force the stopwatch usually only in tourney mode to me the main focus of a map. that is to say, even in pubs, the main intentions and goals are the same as the map in tournaments, maybe in a two-point style map that lasts really quickly

there's a lot of things that valve has done in terms of balance which pretty clearly says "arena isn't something we're putting effort or any care at all into"

eureka effect etcetc

isn't there a map that's taking the same artpass from mountainlab/manor and modifying it for pro play?

mountainlab's a cool-ass map, there's just a few problems here and there that a pro version fixes

e: http://teamfortress.tv/forum/thread/10130-cp-highlands

everyone test this so we get a good linear A/D map please and thank you

dear diary: today a man on the internet did a rude thing and I want them dead

I always liked the layout for the second point but apparently that's the campy one and the reason it's not a good map

:(

make a new cfg (I called mine dicks.cfg b/c why not) that has all your "default" binds for every key/mouse button you have. thus, when a class doesn't use a certain button or key, it'll just use a general use one. this is also kinda useful if you want certain general scripts like crouchjumping.

ex. (the one I'm using)

unbindall
alias "v_medic" "voicemenu 0 0"
alias "v_thanks" "voicemenu 0 1"
alias "v_gogogo" "voicemenu 0 2"
alias "v_moveup" "voicemenu 0 3"
alias "v_goleft" "voicemenu 0 4"
alias "v_goright" "voicemenu 0 5"
alias "v_yes" "voicemenu 0 6"
alias "v_no" "voicemenu 0 7"
//
alias "v_incoming" "voicemenu 1 0"
alias "v_cloakedspy" "voicemenu 1 1"
alias "v_sentryahead" "voicemenu 1 2"
alias "v_teleporterhere" "voicemenu 1 3"
alias "v_dispenserhere" "voicemenu 1 4"
alias "v_sentryhere" "voicemenu 1 5"
alias "v_activateuber" "voicemenu 1 6"
alias "v_uberready" "voicemenu 1 7"
//
alias "v_help" "voicemenu 2 0"
alias "v_battlecry" "voicemenu 2 1"
alias "v_cheers" "voicemenu 2 2"
alias "v_jeers" "voicemenu 2 3"
alias "v_positive" "voicemenu 2 4"
alias "v_negative" "voicemenu 2 5"
alias "v_niceshot" "voicemenu 2 6"
alias "v_goodjob" "voicemenu 2 7"

bind "a" "+moveleft"
bind "b" "disguise_random"
bind "c" "radiocyc"
bind "d" "+moveright"
bind "e" "slot2"
bind "f" "voicemenu 0 0"
bind "g" "+taunt"
bind "h" "+use_action_slot_item"
bind "i" "say"
bind "j" "cl_trigger_first_notification"
bind "k" "cl_decline_first_notification"
bind "l" "explode"
bind "m" "open_charinfo"
bind "n" "+quickswitchmenu"
bind "o" "mate_spray"
bind "p" "kill"
bind "q" "slot1"
bind "r" "slot3"
bind "s" "+back"
bind "t" "slot4"
bind "u" "say_team"
bind "w" "+forward"
bind "y" "slot5"
bind "z" "voice_menu_1"
bind "'" "tf_models"
bind "`" "toggleconsole"
bind "," "changeclass"
bind "." "changeteam"
bind "/" "+movedown"
bind "\" "+use"
bind "-" "team_disguise"
bind "TAB" "+showscores"
bind "ESCAPE" "cancelselect"
bind "INS" "+klook"
bind "HOME" "ToggleControl"
bind "END" "centerview"
bind "PGUP" "+lookup"
bind "PGDN" "+lookdown"
bind "PAUSE" "pause"
bind "SHIFT" "+duck"
bind "RSHIFT" "impulse 201"
bind "ALT" "lastdisguise"
bind "F1" "+showroundinfo"
bind "F3" "askconnect_accept"
bind "F5" "screenshot"
bind "F6" "save_replay"
bind "F7" "abuse_report_queue"
bind "F10" "quit prompt"
bind "F12" "replay_togglereplaytips"
bind "MOUSE1" "+attack"
bind "MOUSE2" "+attack2"
bind "MWHEELUP" "v_thanks"
bind "MWHEELDOWN" "v_cloakedspy"
bind "MOUSE3" "v_jeers"
bind "MOUSE4" "v_thanks"
bind "MOUSE5" "v_cheers"

then, at the beginning of every class cfg, I put in

exec dicks

followed by w/e I want to script

even when TF2's best is obnoxious, there's still a hint of self-awareness in it, like they understand that and they're just doing it for comedy more than anything else

CS' obnoxiousness is not only sincere, but sincere enough where they feel like they need ways to compensate for the unbalanced ego:skill ratio

boil it in some water, put in some sunflower oil (for your health), and make sure to add some extra spices to that intel cpu for the extra kick

Hello, Mr. and Ms. TFTV. My name is Papa "PAPASTAIN" Staniel. I am an awful TF2 player, whose single competitive entry was when I played pyro once in HL, at a constant 20fps, and then got kicked out about a week later. There was a point where I was mostly playing pubstar heavy, because I could still manage stupid killstreaks if I held down M2 forever. I am here to request to you a name change, from "PAPASTAIN" to simply "ps". There are many reasons for this, including:

-it doesn't sound really dumb
-like for'real. PAPASTAIN is an awful username on my part
-I can make photoshop jokes from the new username
-it's quicker to type + say for everyone involved
-if I feel legitimately awful I could sound it out together like "piss" to make myself feel better
-it's a gaming name, as provided by Razer's Official Gaming Name Line (trademarked by me just now) to give me a competitive edge in names

pls n thnk u