To be honest, when your life has given you so many obstacles and hardships to overcome with your family and relationships in general, it might be best to have some time to yourself to figure out your life and really find out how you are going to fix your situation so that you can have a better life. relationships arn't necessary, companionship is nice but there is no sense trying to force something especially in the situation you are in. if it were me, id take the time to myself, developing and maintaining a relationship (esp. in your circumstances) can be very hard and just work against you in the end.

I wish i could write more but I'm currently writing this instead of doing my homework so ill try to make it quick. Maybe you should try to organize a time where you can actually see him in person because sometimes people drift due to the fact that they hardly see eachother. As well, i heard a phrase one time and i think its appropriate here; "In order to love someone you must first hate them." I think this sort of applies to the fighting part in the sense that you guys are just going through a rough patch, and on the other side of this patch is lets just say a rainbow (hypothetical of course :P). I'd say just give it time and see what the future brings, but also dont be afraid to break it off if your not feeling it anymore.

Hope i could help :)

This is really personal and awkward. You should get some professional help, or confide in a friend that you trust.

give him an ultimanium

"He spends 99% of his time playing Dota or something with his circlejerk, or doing school work. I am lucky to get a few hours with him a week."
doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all, he probably just think the novelty of having a girlfriend is cool w/out having to put any money/time into it

how old are you? maybe you should just move out (if you can) with a friend or something?

if you need someone to talk to, add me on steam!

also i hope teamfortress.tv turns into personallife.tv

he sounds like a shitlord

We need a teamfortress.tv psychologist

also ya he is kinda rude lOl

whose dave

Well, the initial plan already was costing him a lot of money, paying for the trip, my paperwork, stuff like that. So I don't think it is a novelty thing, or at least I don't think it was. Somebody I asked said that they think he is not interested any more and is just with me and a dick because he knows he can. I don't know what to make of that.

I am 18. I am unemployed. I do freelance artwork but that isn't very much. I honestly don't have any IRL friends, aha.

I thought that would be apparent from the title. Sorry. I am working on that, yes.

We are supposed to meet in December. I will fly up to stay with him for one month. After that, the next visit would be all the way in May.

I just fear that, with it being such a lengthy rough patch, it could be something else...his attitude is really off-putting to me, but it doesn't change how I feel about him.

Thank you for your reply.

Thank you, Lucrative, for your reply.

Dave is his friend who we both agree is an asshole.

unecessary/rude, clearly looking for help and couldn't find it or else she wouldn't have posted anything

literally kill yourself

also think before you get married at 18/20, i think it's a really bad idea. especially since you plan on relying on this guy for at least a while, if you feel like there's a disconnect i would hesitate before doing anything that's life changing.

Try to get a job at a local mom and pop store, or some shitty fast food place. I worked at Dunkin' Donuts for a few years and that took off some depression i had in high school. I think that would be a good start, just try not to get into the mindset that jobs are shitty.

The marriage is necessary for me to enter Canada. We are going with family/spousal sponsorship.

There's very few opportunities here, but I am going to try to, yes. I'm hesitant to apply in the winter, though, because we get bad snow sometimes and can't get down the driveway. 15 miles out of town sucks that way.

literally an immigrant

what the fuck is wrong with you

Also I think Luc's suggestion is probably best for you, it seems like you've been through a LOT and need to sit back and figure yourself out for a while, maybe consider seeing a specialist or someone who you can look up to.

competitive team fortress community

lol dingo what the fuck man.

In my experience, online relationships tend to fizzle out if you never actually meet the person, especially if you're old enough to have sex. He might just be getting bored.

also i just read the conversation, this guy sounds like an asshole

sup bbg yall can shack up with dj big gig if you want hehe shit ive got like a pull out couch in my parents room u can sleep on shieeet and like eventaulyty we can like get hitched n shit but like not too fast cause my bitch mom nees to b sure that ur a good christian gurl nah mean?? anyways if u feel like it hit me up at http://mailorderhusbands.net/love/order/ right and maybe we can work sumtin out ;))))))))))))

There's a chance he's just distracted and busy with his own problems.

here we go

http://i.imgur.com/6icZ3.png

You should be getting married with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sit down and ask if you're getting married to escape a crazy/abusive household. That's a short-term solution, but not a long-term one. Don't spend the next two years resting on your laurels -- do what you can to get out of that household. Take any job you can and ask friends if they have any leads. Look into scholarships so you can get off to school. Wake up tomorrow morning and write a resume. But don't use marriage, which is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, as a crutch to get out. Believe that you can do that by yourself. Achieve it, and your feelings about the relationship and its worth may be much clearer.

renhet?

I think that beyond his anger and what is going on right now, he is an intelligent, caring individual who is going to be somebody. I love his good traits more than I hate the bad, it's just that the bad...well.

I am going to get my GED and look for work, that much is certain. I don't want to do nothing, believe me. I would like to go to college soon, but I don't have any funds for it, and I don't want to get into a truckload of debt. So working for a while, if at all possible, before I take that path is a better bet. I want to make the most of the two years I have to wait.

?

I hate to sound like a all-knowing old guy, but the facts are you're quite young, and should maybe focus on the more immediate problems in your life than entangle yourself in something as (legally) significant as marriage to leave the country and have a fresh start. If your current home situation is bad enough that you need a way out as soon as possible, I would do further research into a work visa - Canada is somewhat more reasonable about handing those out, and if searching for a crappy minimum wage job in a foreign country is better than living jobless with your grandparents, then so be it.

But obviously, since there's this sudden 2-year wait, you're not posting this looking for logistical help on escaping your current living conditions and lack of a job market - as you said, you're asking for relationship advice.

Again, you're both very young - I hate to be a debbie downer, but the odds are against you that you've found a young male who is able to completely overcome the period of retardness that afflicts us all between the ages of 15-24. Seriously, 90% of guys in that age bracket are going to be morons, and even the nice, earnest ones are going to get in over their heads sometimes. Yes, there are exceptions, blah blah blah, but if you struggle with reading people and catching social cues, you need to play the odds... and the odds are he's pulling away from you, even if its subconscious and he doesn't even realize it.

I'll admit, that's a pretty harsh way of looking at it, but my point is that you can't remain immobilized by his current demeanor and the emotional turmoil that comes with it - since, really, there isn't much you can do about it until he either makes a change or opens up.

In the end, you're not really going to know until more time passes, since obviously you confronting him has just led to more fights. It sucks, but that's life - you're going to find as you grow up that often you just have to let some time pass before an answer presents itself. So, if you can't do anything about it anyway, again I say try finding something to focus on in your immediate surroundings - as much as to distract you from the emotional turmoil he's causing as serving a purpose.

The ball is pretty much entirely in his court right now, and there's not much you can do about it.

/2cents

i suggest (a) professional help, (b) not moving in with a guy who doesn't seem that interested in you anymore, (c) maybe going to college/finding a job? idk, that might help you make irl friends and enough money to support yourself without having to rely on potentially crazy/abusive households

(edit: yeah you're already planning to get a GED which is good i guess, didn't see that at first, keep going)

Actually, we had considered a work visa. The thing is, I don't think anybody is going to put forth the effort to get the paperwork necessary for hiring a foreigner to do a minimum-wage job that an ezpz Canadian could do. I think that's why the foreign work forums for Canada are flooded with people into live-in caregiving.

I had applied to a place, and he seemed very interested until I explained the process for hiring a foreigner. He did not reply.

I think your reply is very insightful. Thank you.

Speaking from personal experience, it can sometimes be very difficult and stressful to always be someone's main support or council when they are suffering from mental illness or other distress. I'd imagine the long-distance situation would make it even harder for your boyfriend to be empathetic and supportive.

So my advice would be to seek treatment for your depression. Do this for yourself and as a first step to a better life. You said you had a "two year wait", but why wait? Your life is your full responsibility, so take action to get yourself better equipped to live it; I think you will find things begin to fall into place on their own as you do.

Long distance relationships are really difficult to hold without constant interaction and in-person visits every once in a while. Having a strong budget also makes long-distance relationships much easier. Chances are that after hearing that he would have to wait two years, he became largely discouraged to continue the relationship and will likely end up moving to someone else soon to satisfy his needs. If he's not spending time with you and instead busy playing Dota all the time with his internet circlejerk it is obvious that he has lost interest in the relationship and it is probably time for you to move on. You also have to steps back and look at it from his point of view: It's a pretty risky move to wait two years for someone that is going to be broke and just have a GED.

I am actively in a long-distance relationship with harbleu; same country though, just different states. We are usually both in the same mumble whenever we're awake, we watch movies about every two nights, we co-op a lot of games, we do multi-player games, we play single player games at the same pace. We've also met up before a couple times for many days and went to theme parks n' shit. Although I am poor, I'll likely be getting my A.A. general degree this upcoming spring which will make me more employable.

Also here are a couple math sites that I've used in the past;
http://www.coolmath.com/
http://www.khanacademy.org/ (more than just math)
Just keep practicing and you'll get better.