Aight I dunno how well this is gonna turn out but I'm trying to deal with something and it's one of those things you only pay more attention to as you get older and I've never really had any experience to understand or relate to it at all so I need a mix of people I know and people I don't know to help me along.
Ok so my problem is that I think my older sister is in an abusive relationship. Well probably more than think. I've got a really good hunch. But I don't know for sure and there's no real precedent for us talking about heavy shit it's hard for me to find an appropriate time to voice my concern with her. I feel like the guy she's married to is really controlling and manipulative and treats the son he adopted from his incarcerated cousin like shit and I'm also worried that this kind of environment is not healthy for their biological 2-year-old to be growing up in.
There's a lot more detail that I left out for obvious reasons but I can give more info upon reasonable inquest.
I just need help figuring out how to proceed in this situation because I feel like I need to tread on eggshells.
Any advice is welcomed, and I'll be on steam mobile if people want to talk to me privately.
I feel like this thread might go on for a while so if it gets hairy just lock it or delete it.
Thanks in advance; sorry for the buzzkill post
Aight I dunno how well this is gonna turn out but I'm trying to deal with something and it's one of those things you only pay more attention to as you get older and I've never really had any experience to understand or relate to it at all so I need a mix of people I know and people I don't know to help me along.
Ok so my problem is that I think my older sister is in an abusive relationship. Well probably more than think. I've got a really good hunch. But I don't know for sure and there's no real precedent for us talking about heavy shit it's hard for me to find an appropriate time to voice my concern with her. I feel like the guy she's married to is really controlling and manipulative and treats the son he adopted from his incarcerated cousin like shit and I'm also worried that this kind of environment is not healthy for their biological 2-year-old to be growing up in.
There's a lot more detail that I left out for obvious reasons but I can give more info upon reasonable inquest.
I just need help figuring out how to proceed in this situation because I feel like I need to tread on eggshells.
Any advice is welcomed, and I'll be on steam mobile if people want to talk to me privately.
I feel like this thread might go on for a while so if it gets hairy just lock it or delete it.
Thanks in advance; sorry for the buzzkill post
it sounds like you intuitively suspect something might be happening behind the veil (it is your sister, after all) - why not just open up some dialogue about it? need a good launching pad from those eggshells? you're her brother and you care.
it sounds like you intuitively suspect something might be happening behind the veil (it is your sister, after all) - why not just open up some dialogue about it? need a good launching pad from those eggshells? you're her brother and you care.
i don't know anything about this kind of situation only advice i'd say is try to stay true with what you believe and if you think your sister is in a bad situation, tell her about it if u dont and it gets worse you'll only feel worse about it.
i don't know anything about this kind of situation only advice i'd say is try to stay true with what you believe and if you think your sister is in a bad situation, tell her about it if u dont and it gets worse you'll only feel worse about it.
offer your support and help but you can't really get involved unless she asks.
offer your support and help but you can't really get involved unless she asks.
If it really is that abusive, and it's that bad of an environment for a child. Best advice i can give is call child services, they take things like that really seriously i think(or rather assume/guess) that you can call anonymously or at least ask them to say it was an anonymous tip if asked.
At the most minimal case if he is abusive they would ask him to attend court mandated counseling(unsure if that's just something that pertains to my state or if that's the Federal way to handle it) and usually a psychiatrist could try to help him. Or could diagnose him as a mentally unfit parent.
I don't know shit for non physical domestic abuse but i think as long as she stays with him of her own will, and he isn't like threatening or hitting her, it falls upon herself to leave to i'd suggest you just point out his abusive tendencies(people don't tend to like you blatantly confronting them about their SO)
If it really is that abusive, and it's that bad of an environment for a child. Best advice i can give is call child services, they take things like that really seriously i think(or rather assume/guess) that you can call anonymously or at least ask them to say it was an anonymous tip if asked.
At the most minimal case if he is abusive they would ask him to attend court mandated counseling(unsure if that's just something that pertains to my state or if that's the Federal way to handle it) and usually a psychiatrist could try to help him. Or could diagnose him as a mentally unfit parent.
I don't know shit for non physical domestic abuse but i think as long as she stays with him of her own will, and he isn't like threatening or hitting her, it falls upon herself to leave to i'd suggest you just point out his abusive tendencies(people don't tend to like you blatantly confronting them about their SO)
They do take that sort of thing VERY seriously, I know because my mom worked with child services for a lot of her life, she was inspired to do this because my father left before I could remember.
If you have such concerns it would be much better to tell them, having bad childhood experiences like that can really fuck you up for the rest of your life.
They do take that sort of thing VERY seriously, I know because my mom worked with child services for a lot of her life, she was inspired to do this because my father left before I could remember.
If you have such concerns it would be much better to tell them, having bad childhood experiences like that can really fuck you up for the rest of your life.
national network to end domestic violence: http://www.nnedv.org/
here you can find resources, documents, local communities, and anonymous numbers you can call for tips. ultimately your sister will have to take the first step, but knowing she'll have people to back her up is also crucial. talk to child protection/services in your area to get additional tips. the worst thing you can do is nothing.
ywca also has information and services: http://www.ywca.org/site/c.cuIRJ7NTKrLaG/b.8778673/k.2A72/Domestic_Violence_and_Violence_Against_Women.htm
talk to your sister privately and in person. let her know you're extremely concerned for her and the child. ask if she feels safe and free to make her own choices. verbal violence is the same as physical violence. controlling her may not be on the same level, but it could grow to that and she needs to be aware of that.
abuse overview and hotline numbers on kaiser: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health/care/!ut/p/c4/HYzBDsIwDEN_BT5gioDDEDe-YULQXaaQRmu1Nqm2MLS_Z0X2wXqWDT3sElzjiBZVMMELHKkYi90CY7LQsNBGSQv7iPCsg6SEicGxNJ-lgql0jDMFcF4zLxbpsEZN-5JrXWYcM4ITbQgp_JltZX-Y3jWHb_TgjNv2fIKOZXh0UHK-XqqH-_EH9HBapg!!/
this may seem like an overload but being able to see all the signs will help you.
national network to end domestic violence: http://www.nnedv.org/
here you can find resources, documents, local communities, and anonymous numbers you can call for tips. ultimately your sister will have to take the first step, but knowing she'll have people to back her up is also crucial. talk to child protection/services in your area to get additional tips. the worst thing you can do is nothing.
ywca also has information and services: http://www.ywca.org/site/c.cuIRJ7NTKrLaG/b.8778673/k.2A72/Domestic_Violence_and_Violence_Against_Women.htm
talk to your sister privately and in person. let her know you're extremely concerned for her and the child. ask if she feels safe and free to make her own choices. verbal violence is the same as physical violence. controlling her may not be on the same level, but it could grow to that and she needs to be aware of that.
abuse overview and hotline numbers on kaiser: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health/care/!ut/p/c4/HYzBDsIwDEN_BT5gioDDEDe-YULQXaaQRmu1Nqm2MLS_Z0X2wXqWDT3sElzjiBZVMMELHKkYi90CY7LQsNBGSQv7iPCsg6SEicGxNJ-lgql0jDMFcF4zLxbpsEZN-5JrXWYcM4ITbQgp_JltZX-Y3jWHb_TgjNv2fIKOZXh0UHK-XqqH-_EH9HBapg!!/
this may seem like an overload but being able to see all the signs will help you.