Hello lads. Another season of etf2l is about to start and as always, I am here to give you in depth analysis and breakdown of the rosters heading into season 31. Not going to lie lads, this season is fucking STACKED. Its actually unreal. Im just going to assume that the germans and nunya make it through prem playoffs and place them accordingly in the rankings. As usual objectivity was my number 1 priority when creating this list, and therefore your opinions on who’s going to win don’t matter cause my list is and will be correct. Teams are listed in the order that I think are going to place.

1. Se7en
Virgins.
Right sorry I’m gonna write something this time.
Kaidus lost i63 to b4nny and hes not fucking happy about it. Hes gotten so mad that hes managed to resurrect the GOAT kaptain and raymon. Starks on roamer now but does any of this really matter when they have the absolutely unbeatable scout combo of thaigrr tank and controversial virgin beam scout thalash.
Anyway kaptains the biggest tank the games ever seen besides mike and fucking NOBODY is gonna be able to beat the kaptain thalash raymon combo. That being said nobody is as excited about this as gubbins. The lads had a boner about this for the past month and I think its starting to be a bit of a problem and a tiny bit obnoxious. Should get it checked out. At least the nr.2 spot is interesting.

2. Ascent
Ams isn’t on 7 cause kaptains back and also he said that he couldn’t play this season but nvm lol :D. Hes back with a fucking vengeance. This team on paper is pretty much as good as 7 except for the fact that they haven’t played together for 3 years. This teams fucking insane tho if it actually stays alive for the entire season. Chances of that happening tho? Tiny. This roster looks more volatile than lupus in a pug. Bat ur eyes and half of the teams gone. But if they stay together they can give 7 a run for their money and then some. Just gotta pray this lasts for more than 2 weeks into the season.

3. Faint Gaming
After a disappointing showing on lan Faint have returned to fight another season and with the apparent death of their rivals Quaint Gaming it seems like they might finally be able to truly break into their own. These lads are mega keen and hungry to achieve victory. With a new roamer in the form of corbac (crowned by angry potato man josh himself to be the most promising soldiers along with groove like 2 years ago) replacing samski it seems that Faint might actually get to have their good sniper, the almighty canoe, snipe instead of samski. [url=https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250353058696003584/449241406310187008/sorex_pastaman.png]Sorex the pasta god[/url][url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n3pFFPSlW4] is still a pasta man[/url] and alle is still mega tank. Who will be able to stop this roster? Ascent and 7. Theyre just better! Better luck next season when both teams stop wanting to play.

4. Baalbek is my city (ubrs+mon+yllen team)
Following Alexander the Great's conquest of Persia in the 330s bc, Baalbek (under its Hellenic name Heliopolis) formed part of the Diadochi kingdoms of Egypt & Syria. It was annexed by the Romans during their eastern wars. The settlers of the Roman colony Colonia Julia Augusta Felix Heliopolitana may have arrived as early as the time of Caesar but were more probably the veterans of the 5th and 8th Legions under Augustus, during which time it hosted a Roman garrison. From 15 bc to ad 193, it formed part of the territory of Berytus. It is mentioned in Josephus, Pliny, Strabo, and Ptolemy and on coins of nearly every emperor from Nerva to Gallienus. The 1st-century Pliny did not number it among the Decapolis, the "Ten Cities" of Coelesyria, while the 2nd-century Ptolemy did. The population likely varied seasonally with market fairs and the schedules of the Indian monsoon and caravans to the coast and interior.

5. Ora Elektro
This teams been around for an eternity, but the only lasting member is Azunis. Hes okay at roamer I guess I don’t really know but whatever. The death of svift has given ora the gift that is Paprika__ on pocket and I can’t say that this makes me mad. Im a big fan of his style. This team certainly will provide some interesting matchups against the other top teams in prem except 7. Nobody will provide good matchups against 7 if their names aren’t ascent. I don’t really have anything funny to say about this team so im just gonna move on.

6. Nunya
Snakedawgsss back with another team. Hesss pretty much assssembled exodia with the nuthoussse puossssskari scout combo but lassssst time he did thissss he just decided to play 4sssss instead. Worked out real well for him. I sssshould’ve placed this team higher but sssomebodysss gotta come 6th. Pretty much every sssingle team past ascent and 7 could be ssswapped around depending on whosss feeling it on the day. When asked how team leader Connor plansss on motivating his granted extremely deadly ssscout combo he acknowledged that their previousss lack of form wasss due to the fact that they didnt have sssoldiersss, along with the fact that he doesss not plan to migrate to the UGC 4ssss league half way through the ssseason. Will puossskari have ssslept within the passst 2 daysss? Will nuthoussse play the game? Will nunya have a sssoldier duo passst week 3? Who knowsss.

7. SVIFT
Beep beep bus is here wait sorry samzis here no wait sorry its just svift now I guess but the bus people are on svift. Solid roster across the board. In any other fucking season this team would be 4th place. But now theyre 7th. At least this is a team of absolute lads. Name a single person on this team that isn’t an absolute lad. Hopefully the team manages to resist samzi and his quest to remove all vowels besides i from everyones alias.

8. wer das liest ist doof
This is the most last place team of all time besides wonderland. Real ogs will remember wonderland as a team of a bunch of thirdies+a frenchie tank and kos on pocket as well as the team that ROBBED sil of debut of the season the season afterwards. Even tho schlocky for some unexplainable reason has unabled ranked as the TOP GERMAN scout besides SVMZITNK I don’t see them beating any other team in prem this season. Last season they could’ve gone mid table. This season every team besides these lads are playoffs contenders. Such a fucking shame honestly.

Another season is about to hit us and its looking to be an absolute banger. See you on the battlefield.