mustardoverlord

edit: i was slapped by a ninja

I have an online friend who I've known for 4 1/2 years now. Two nights ago she messaged me about having a hard time, and that she was having really strong suicidal thoughts. She went offline mid conversation, and hasn’t answered any texts or phone calls for the past two days. I don’t want to assume shit, but I’m honestly scared. She’s attempted suicide two times before, and almost died the last time she did.

She had been going to therapy, and was on anti-depressants, but she was horrible with both. She kept things from her therapist, and avoided taking her anti-depressants. She would always talk to me on mumble or steam about her issues, and I’d listen. But at the end of the day there is nothing I can do other than persuade her to take her anti-depressants, and try to get her to talk to her therapist about the shit she brings to me.

Maybe this isn’t the place, maybe this is for past stories, but I’ve been worried sick for the past two days, and I need to vent. It doesn’t feel good not knowing what happened to a close friend of yours. She’s on the other side of the country in Florida, so there’s nothing I can do but hope she replies to texts. Honestly feeling like a bystander who can’t do anything while your friend breaks down is the worst goddamn feeling.

Sorry if no one wants to hear about this. I just feel like shit, and need to vent before I lose my mind.

marmadukeGRYLLS telling it how it is.

Look dude, I'm honestly sorry about this shit. It cannot be fun getting shittalked all the time by people who should honestly be acting better. I'm always amazed that the community which raised 200k for kids with cancer can have its own toxic tumors in it. People hop on the "fuck this guy" train because they think it's funny to make a meme out of hating someone. People are nice at LAN because they don't have that monitor between you and them. It's easier for them to see that they're talking to an actual fucking person, rather than an alias. That disconnect of humanity online is why competitive games can get toxic, why forums can be a horrible place to be, and why people are so keen to witch hunt.

However, the nice thing about being online is you can just choose to ignore shittalkers. There are people in the community who really seem to like you, so just hang around them, and fuck the rest. Life is way too fucking short to get caught up in what childish adults feel the need to say on the internet. You honestly don't seem like a bad dude. You have differing opinions that some people view as misled, but who gives a flying fuck. At the end of the day, it's your opinion, it doesn't make you a horrible person; only actions can define that imho. The people who are assholes are the ones using a fucking mental illness against you. That is honestly disgusting.

Try to take a step back and ignore the negativity. Tell the assholes to gargle down a cornucopia of dicks, and ignore them. Surround yourself with the people who like you.

I'm free to talk if you want man

Bump. We're running tryouts this weekend.
(if you're a medic main please save me from playing it again)

That show was the shit. Here's hoping they do a good job with the freedom adult swim will give them.

I was medding in a badwater pub; someone thought I was pretty good and asked me to ring for his HL team.

This is just really weird dude. A majority of my TF2 memories are from watching b4nny's and plat's team duke it out; now they're both gone.

Hey Connor thanks for killing yourself for us bud. Dash and Gecks too, you guys are amazing.

yomps, jesus christ dude, calm down.

air is playing his first love now, look out boys.

you know what to do shrugger.

i love you

fyi, you need to start tf2 with the desired resolution in your launch options, but native in the program. Once in tf2, switch the program to your tf2 resolution and you're golden.

this is so clean, god damn dude.

I own this one

You have to play around with the colors a bit, but honestly, it's really good imo.

Team died