click on the gear and hit save forever when viewing your own VOD.

highlighting does save them forever.

I was baptized when I was 5, I was always the most religious of any of the children in our family. I always felt a special connection with Jesus, and god, from before I could even read, what felt like a personal relationship. I worked hard in the early catholic schools to learn the prerequisites to being baptized and confirmed, first communion and so on. I was probably the only kid who actually studied the bible at those early ages, my family always took me to church and Sunday school.I spent a lot of time with my catholic grandparents, however my mother didn't like the catholic church so we went to a baptist church instead, and the Sunday school, I was constantly struggling with what parts of the bible to take seriously and which to not.

I was always a big fan of taking most things literally, but at the same time I was introduced to science at a young age as well. When I was 14 I got into some creationist pamphlets at the Sunday school, and started looking at some of the books, my family was all too happy to buy me Christian books. Even though they themselves weren't literalist, or creationists. my 14 year old brain was easily convinced by these creationist writings. My family always just wrote me off whenever I tried to talk about it, I can imagine they thought it was a phase I would grow out of. I loved the books and I loved Jesus and my god more than anything, praying, "talking to god/Jesus" and so on. The strangest phenomena is that growing up I could always hear a response or feel one, by god or Jesus, and felt a presence with me, maybe it was a function of my brain changing as I grew up and matured, that made that imaginary friend go away.

But to me, the disappearance of this source of relief from the constant bullying and isolation at school, emotional abuse and belittling by my family (I feared weekends, holidays and breaks from school because being bullied and isolated was far better than the psychotic outbursts by my mother, who told me almost everyday how fat lazy and disgusting I was, the violent outbreaks by my brother, who would physically damage me roughly for long periods of time, the crippling loneliness that came from realizing noone in my family was going to do anything about it, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I spent most of my energy masking all emotion to hide my pain so the treatment wouldn't get worse, but whatever I did would make it worse, I remember clearly being slapped and violently shook while my mother shouted "SHOW SOME GOD DAMN EMOTION FOR ONCE" and keeping every ounce of energy on retaining my composure, and every time I got through an emotional ordeal without breaking down I considered it a victory.)

But then I was in this situation without the voice of Jesus or god in my head where it was very clear before, and everything about me had been built around Jesus, prior to that, to think it might all have been nothing, that I was wrong about god, was so unthinkable because my thought processes all revolved around Jesus and god.

I was alone in school by choice because opening up to others might let more emotion loose, and I might break down in tears, I shrunk into a small corner in my house and tried to focus on my video games or books enough to drown out the rest of the people who lived there, tried to avoid the family meals, if I could.

She helped my brother get a drivers license, but I "was too unreliable and might run someone over." She helped my brother get a hunting license and firearm license but "I might shoot someone by accident," helped him get a job, but assumed I wouldn't do well. Without hearing the voice of even my imaginary friend Jesus I felt utterly and completely alone. I can't emphasize that sense of loneliness, that sentence enough, I had noone.

I was begging and screaming to god or Jesus alone in the dark every night in bed, whenever I was alone for about a year, "please I don't want a miracle, please Jesus just be there for me, talk to me like you used to talk to me, where did you go, please I love you;" while in tears.

I got more and more frustrated, and initially as an act of rebellion decided to look into books about atheism, and I dug into Richard Dawkins "God delusion" at a borders, in the cafe to give it my first trial, and I couldn't believe I never read it before, I kicked myself for not looking at both sides, it made so much sense and it felt like a curse of great sadness had been lifted, for once I understood the beauty of the world for what it was. I wasn't restrained by the desire to be as "perfect" as I could for a "perfect" being in old old books written by bronze age minds.

I was so proud and happy about this newfound clarity that I wanted to shout it from the rooftops so to speak, but that made my family treat me even worse, now to them, I was a satanist, and must be closely monitored, constantly mocked.

This is about when i picked up smoking, and for the next 2 years, my intense desire to meditate and learn control of my own mind, was strong enough to push aside reality just enough to survive.

So many times in my life have I come close to ending it, the only thing stopping me is that I never wanted to be just another short obituary, forgotten after a week, I wanted so much to do it, to hurt my family as much as they hurt me, to be floating above my funeral in etheric form watching them cry and regret the things they did, the cruel words and actions, realizing how much they truly did hurt me, but I could never do it because I knew they could redefine the story, without me, people would think I was a retarded satanist delinquent that wasn't good at anything, that it was my fault not theirs that things had happened like this, so the first chance I got I left, I went to another city in another state, and they called the police to make sure I was OK and wasn't kidnapped and all I could feel was hatred, and insulted, the fact that they hurt me so much, and then continue to feel and act as though they care about me, to push me away and then ask me to come back, drove me insane.

They would call me and I would play along, in case I ever needed them again, but be sick to my stomach after every phone call or any exchange, they told me my brother was incredibly sad at Christmas without me, how it wasn't the same, but that made me happy, not even a little bit sad, because at that point all I wanted was for them to feel pain like they made me feel, to feel as alone as I did.

A separate big emotional experience happened 2 years after that where 2 years of not being able to afford to brush my teeth, along with smoking and soda causes them to begin falling out one by one, breaking whenever I ate something hard or accidentally bit my fork or chopstick, coupled with constant pain from the split open teeth and the lack of hope with no money to pay for a dentist was an incredibly devastating experience. The constant pain made it so I couldn't think straight and couldn't work, lost my job then I lost my home, because I couldn't fight through the pain to see the world clearly enough to do my job.

22

QFT.

I've heard of some people getting a g500 because the g400 is discontinued, make sure you tell them you want the g400s, and not a laser mouse of some kind.

543

Very nice person

oops wrong button

Team Pokemanz:

AMC: http://steamcommunity.com/id/AMC___/
Harbleu: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Harbleu/

Super fun to play with and chill, I don't think hes EVER gotten angry with a teammate.

2 of my favourites I'll add:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8cd98ek998 - Back to the roots

1. AMC
2. The Power Of Void
3. Open
4.

We are playing against a team we found on IRC, we hadn't played before, very little prior knowledge.

We are playing with a new demo for the first time.

We have been scrimming the map for a bit, working on making strats for it and so on.

We had a game where we won a lot of transitionals and middles but at the same time lost, I want to know how we can take what is working for us, and make it ironclad, take what didn't work and turn it into success.

5. I play passive scout.

6. I hope to gain insight for our team that helps us compete at a higher level, diminish our mistakes and have better habits and plays as a team.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8iee4o5hx85pbsn/20130519-2048-cp_process_rc3.dem?v=0mcns

Thank you very much <3

http://i.imgur.com/s84TU2K.jpg

Photoshopping my name back in after randofan photoshopped it out >:(

http://imgur.com/IV4E2og

With transparency for the people who used the later space.

http://imgur.com/1baExvs

I wish it were that easy, however people can still be upset, yet not really have that option.

It's right before a pretty interesting looking season, a lot of teams and players put a lot of effort, commitment, time and love into this game with their team and friends, as well as the community in general.

It's not as easy a choice to walk out on people who may be depending on you, especially if you put a lot of effort in already preparing for this next season, scrimming, trying people out, paying for a server, watching demos, building friendships.

Even if you feel really anxious, upset and betrayed, this company still has a monopoly on counter strike and TF2, and with no real comparable leagues, we have to treat this situation with as much care as possible to keep our sport alive, but without having to bend over backwards for the people who realize they have a monopoly to work with.

There is always reason to continue a discussion, if it is constructive and honest. I would take issue more with passively dismissing an entire dialogue, or side of a debate.