https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_dildo

Right there's no easy way to pitch this so I'm just gonna go ahead:

https://i.imgur.com/ieygPWO.png

Team High School II is a 14+ (or 18+, see below* for details) visual novel concept pitch to basically get more weeaboos playing competitive TF2. You - the protagonist of whichever gender you choose to be - are forced to join a high school that's in the middle of a student council election that's basically a civil war. There's two main groups: the New Age (NA) juniors and sophomores, versus the Enrolled and Upstanding (EU) seniors. It's awful. It's so stupid. They're fighting over the dumbest shit like whose ego needs to be apologized for, or if sports competitions are better if there's only 5 rounds.

You want no part of it, if you're being honest. But there's cute girls. If you can impress said girls, you might have a shot at getting to know them better*. Let's meet some of them now:

https://i.imgur.com/p9TTnZu.png

Froyotech (AKA Froyo-chan) might look short but make no mistake, she's got a tall list of accomplishment. She's dominated the New Age council for a while now with the rest of her friends, wasting no time on stragglers and pushing ahead to be #1. While confident and intimidating, Froyo-chan has shown to have a weakness towards cat photos and frozen yogurt.

https://i.imgur.com/yRYB8WJ.png

Se7en (AKA Se7en-chan) carries an air of respect when she stands tall. Having been on top of the Enrolled and Upstanding senior club for a while, Se7en-chan is very proud of her accomplishments during the years. While meticulous in detail, Se7en-chan insists she is by no means boring and has a lot of surprises up her sleeves. She has a pet tortoise named Yuri, and enjoys bantering with literally everybody she can banter with.

https://i.imgur.com/uWWxOY7.png

SVIFT (AKA SVIFT-chan) doesn't really do conventional girly stuff, and as such usually hangs around the video game & sports clubs with the guys a bit more. She's also fairly impatient. Coming from a rich family that has an empire across the world in their market, SVIFT-chan tries to get things done as fast as possible in order to focus on getting more things done. While SVIFT-chan definitely leans towards sports and determined gaming, she's got a soft spot for fashion.

https://i.imgur.com/w1DQH27.png

The Ascent twins (AKA Ascent NA-chan and Ascent EU-chan) used to be inseparable, until EU-chan was noticed and singled out by by the Enrolled and Upstanding senior students. Since then, there's been some tensions.

https://i.imgur.com/YAazueB.png

Ascent NA-chan, the more jumpy and clumsy of the two, actually has a lot of skill when it comes to competition, but doesn't outwardly show it as much as their more confident counterpart, Ascent EU-chan. They both kind of stumble over their sentences when they want to get the last word in though. Both of them enjoy watching sports, as well as hiking & rock climbing.

https://i.imgur.com/GojsqHX.png

Faint Gaming (AKA Faint-chan) is kind of a mystery shrouded in a sad backstory. A bit at a loss for words more often than not, she's back from a leave of absence. While she used to hang around with the New Age, it seems as though an incident from abroad has left her sort of leaning towards the Enrolled and Upstanding seniors, although she struggles to fit in with them. While Faint-chan tends to be quiet and reserved, she enjoys playing strategy-based games, horror movies, and painting still life.

Now, I know what you're thinking: why have you done this, uberchain? I thought I was safe from your weeaboo bullshit this year. Well, I'm here to tell that you're wrong. FUCK you. It's 11:59 PST, therefore this would STILL count if it was a joke. You really thought you were safe from my bullshit this year? You're not safe from me and my garbage weeaboo bullshit. And guess what? This year, I'm dead fucking serious about my garbage weeaboo bullshit - because I have a Kickstarter for it.

If you donate to the Kickstarter, this game gets:

• English voice acting
  
• R18+ uncensored scenes*

Don't believe me? Here's a SFW (for now) sample from Vocaroo to prove it.

https://i.imgur.com/WpYlIjG.png

In donating to this Kickstarter for this visual novel for promoting competitive TF2 in the lowest possible way, you help me fund the artists, RenPy programmers, and voice actresses I purchased from fivver with what was supposed to be my entire Copenhagen Games budget plus drinking money, just to make this pitch. It's 2019. It's time to give TF2 the disrespect it absolutely so very, very much deserves.

To donate to the Kickstarter, please click here and help me get my CPG drinking money back. Thank you, and have a wonderful evening.

https://i.imgur.com/uoMxRkm.png

You're welcome

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/178093385293234176/555561006479310848/unknown.png

https://i.imgur.com/rE72Dm1.png

I did my second language out of curiosity, which I'm not as fluent in as English. I'd be interested to see people who speak English as a second language (or another language) compare that score to their primary language score.

I know some people who claim they type faster in English than they do their home language but this kind of makes sense to me if they have more vowels/letters.

https://i.imgur.com/0GWjCsq.png

https://i.imgur.com/PfZ7DCh.png

The gay TF2 community that subscribed to Marketplace.tf or saw the emails are absolutely enjoying this

https://i.imgur.com/TyXx0sw.png

https://i.imgur.com/hcACvIMl.png

https://clips.twitch.tv/HyperFitSandpiperCharlieBitMe

I want to believe that this is still some sort of fucked up elaborate prank but it's more like, it's not actually you, like in this timeline there's an option that is basically the real dude who actually beat a terminal illness/one of their friends comes back and is like "hey this is somebody else trying to make sketchek look bad" rather than "lol yeah i pulled a merbo and hyped up my comeback but ill explain more on my youtube channel remember to subscribe #logang4ever"

We know your name. TF2 knows your name. They wrote your name in history when they rebuffed the Axtinguisher. They respected how much you put into their game and they honoured you. People honoured you, trusted you, missed you. Mourned for you. It was a breath of fucking fresh air for a lot of people hearing you were still alive and chose to focus on IRL. And when you hyped up your comeback and it was like oh shit, he did it, he fucking survived and he beat his terminal illness and he's okay thank the Lord Jesus in heaven and/or the miracles of good doctors and modern medicine.

I don't wish you death. It's fine to hear you haven't passed away and that you're okay. I do think it was the right thing for you to come forward about how it was a hoax. But I want you to think about this, and really think about this, because TF2 honoured your name out of a lot of names in this community: there are people who contributed to this game, played this game, or were influenced by this game just as much as you. These people were loved, respected, appreciated. To this day, they still are remembered and celebrated by the people closest to them.

And they're not with us anymore.

I moderated the memorial church service on TFTV's Twitch because we had the chat open, that's what Miggy's friends had asked for when they had asked if we were able to honour that request.
I heard his friends, along with eXtine, with broken, tearful voices at the end of the service as they talked about him, and talked about his dream project of making more functional hospital gowns, which met its goal.
I heard Fanotak's tears too as she broke to us the news of Ultimote's passing in the SFM community, which coincided with the passing of Kitty0506 due to a cancer he couldn't beat - the man who shaped GMod/SFM TF2 machinima.
I saw the post about CornishGamerHen and I felt his friends' pain. I watched the community band together Heals For Reals in his honour, and raise awareness about suicide.
I remember finding SubtleArt 3-4 years too late after his suicide, realizing this was the gamer that basically helped shape the whole Spy playstyle and made a bunch of Spy pubbers and HL players open their minds up to all the shit you could pull off as that class.

And I want this to sink into whatever brain matter you have left in your skull:

You're alive.
But you lied.

And while you can come back and say "hi, I'm still here" - they can't.

Some of them have when they were still fighting against terminal illness or mental illness. Not as a joke, as a status update on their life.

But they won't be able to tell us that ever again.

And for me, after seeing or hearing the mourning of the friends & family close to these people, the sadness of the people who looked up to them...I don't care what reasoning you have for doing this. I'm so angry. How dare you. How dare you play with people about something as serious as life-threatening terminal illness.

Whatever Youtube apology or justification that you give, right now, will not change what you did. And later, when/if people are ready to forgive you, or whenever you might be ready to forgive yourself and move forward from the guilt if you have any - it will still not change the extent of how much damage you have inflicted, to the people who cared for you, in this moment in time.

https://i.imgur.com/ZTqaEyv.png

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/437000141682114560/541723313819484176/unknown.png

It hasn't hit the -40 range yet (factoring windchill) over on this side but the snow definitely started super early around October and it hit really hard when that happened. December hasn't seen crazy snow or cold in a long time, usually February-March is when it gets most coldest.

Yeah but Chicago and a bunch of other places that aren't Canada are absolutely fucked right now in comparison. Unless you're up north where Nunavut and the NW Territories are at, it's pretty warm right now all things considered and the cold shit's probably not gonna hit us until a bit later, we're just used to regular cold rather than fucked up cold

I'm west coast and 2 weeks ago I had opened my sliding window earlier when the sun was up because it was kind of warm in my room, only for my window to freeze shut in the evening making me unable to close it until next day @ high noon when the sun would come back, so I stuffed the gap with towels overnight to reduce the intensity of the draft coming into my room because my blowdryer broke trying to warm the frame and I didn't want to shatter the glass or cause condensation that would just freeze again overnight.

Then somebody from Siberia schools me and posts this -50°F room window of theirs in response to my koala brain bullshit so when you think you've got it coldest in Canada it really gives you perspective

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DxW55b-XQAADIOe.jpg:large

"Alright, we've reviewed your application."

The new guy sitting at the desk looked up to see the lead editor, followed by other writers within the department, approach with a wide smile on their face, and two folders in their hand. The new guy could make out one, which was the article that they'd had written for the application. The other dossier, they didn't recognize.

"This is written fairly well and it gets the job done," the lead editor continued, opening the folder containing the new guy's article and looking over it again. The lead editor met their gaze enthusiastically. "It was also done in a timely manner shortly after we gave you the prompt, which is - honestly - miraculous around these parts. There's just one more thing we need from you before we decide if you've got the job."

Then, the lead editor suddenly slaps down the other unrecognizable folder in front of the new guy, causing them to recoil back in their chair. Four pictures slide out of the dossier onto the desk, and the lead editor bends forward, their expression sharp and their voice gravely serious. "Make the article title include all of these things," the lead editor says.

The new guy sits back up hesitantly, before their eyes focus on the photos scattered on the desk. Their eyebrows furrow in confusion. There are two player profile shots of the players that the new guy wrote about. However, there's a torn piece of a map that has Iceland on it, and a zoo brochure of a lion in a cage.

The new guy's expression is nothing more than bewildered as they look up at the lead editor. The lead editor and the other writers are completely focused on the new guy, not breaking their intimidating gaze away.

Taking a deep breath in, the new guy leans forward to look at the four things. Their perplexed eyes go back and forth constantly from the two players to the map to the brochure. They mutter under their breath for each thing they see. The two players' names. The lion in the cage. The map of Iceland. Players' names. Cage. Iceland. Players' names, cage -

The new guy's eyes suddenly widen, and his mouth stops muttering. Then, the new guy looks up towards the editor and the writers, and speaks:

"Se7en release Thaigrr back into the wild, breaks the ice with Hafficool."

The writers silently exchange looks with each other. The lead editor straightens back up to also convene in glances with their fellow writers. The new guy trembles with nervousness, but courage and confidence glint in their determined eyes.

Finally, the writers all turn back towards the new guy, and the lead editor's grin from earlier returns.

"You're in."