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ESEA Invite Season 17 Power Rankings: Week 7
posted in News
Tery_
September 1, 2014

Recap

So we're nearing the end of a season

That's been pretty damn good I would reason

With lots of 5-4's

Which has shown what's in store

For quite the amazing postseason


Sunshine is the map for the week

Whose design you might find quite sleek

With a lighthouse and stores

But I've never played it before

So I'm in no position to critique.


It's crunch time for teams on the bubble

Who'll need to push through the rubble

That stands in their way

Or else come LAN day

They'll find themselves in some trouble.

1. eLevate TF2 (10-0)

For the first time this season we find

eLevate at the front of the line

They're feeling great

And who wouldn't in their state

After defeating Froyo a 2nd time


The question that's on our minds:

"Will they play LAN like they did online?"

We can only hope

eLevate will climb the slope

To prevent what happened last time.

2. Froyotech (8-2)

Froyo gets dropped down to 2nd

With the group not happy I'd reckon

They fell once again to eLv.

With a nipplehair score of 4-3

Even though b4nny played like a legend.


Classic Mixup is their next challenge

Though their last meet was quite imbalanced

Mixup have stepped up their game

The score shouldn't be the same

But 4G's win should still happen.

3. Classic Mixup (5-2)

When will Mixup play the games they've missed

Falling down the ESEA rankings list

No games in 2 weeks

Any writeups are bleak

I just hope they didn't cease to exist.

4. Mad Men (6-4)

The Mud Men are on a win spree

With a win over Ding Dong Daddy

They're ahead in this race

In a comfortable place

Will they win against Street Hoops we'll see.

5. Street Hoops Esports (6-4)

I was very surprised to see

Such a close game from 20b

Up against the FU's

They almost did lose

With a crucial 5th loss as penalty.


Now they're tied for 4th place

With Mad Men in this race

Their face off this week

Will determine their streak

So I hope no one gets rolled or disgraced.

6. Wood Pig (4-6)

Wood Pig might still have a chance

Though giving their schedule a glance

They're down 2 wins you see

So compared to Mad Men / 20b

They're a step behind in this dance

7. The Hurricane (3-7) #

Hurricane's Sunshine week is tough

Mixup and eLevate? That's rough

I expect to see a few rounds

Because their team as a whole is sound

But in the end it won't be enough.

8. Ding Dong Daddy (1-9)

I wonder if showstopper and crew

Have even looked Sunshine through

Considering their match vs. 6c

(And we can all agree)

Will be as exciting as poo.

9. 6cuties (0-9)

The team that imploded so early

Rests in pieces together so purely

We hope they return

As we continue to yearn

For an Invite without deaths prematurely.

Match of the Week

Mad Men (6-4) vs. Street Hoops Esports (6-4)

This should be the map that decides

Who goes to LAN and who cries

For the victor will be

Ahead indefinitely

Unless upsets cause a surprise.


I believe more in Mad Men's Scouts

But grape's the best player no doubt

If there's Sniper utility

I trust paragon's ability

To bring the extra frags out.


I don't really know the map

For hiding spots and places for traps

But like Granary

Flank plays will be key

For momentum and the backcaps.


Prediction: Mad Men - 5, Street Hoops Esports - 4

Players to Watch: YouMustMike, MemphsVon, grape, cyzer

Final Glance

  1. eLevate TF2 [+1]
  2. Froyotech [-1]
  3. Classic Mixup
  4. Mad Men
  5. Street Hoops Esports
  6. Wood Pig
  7. The Hurricane
  8. Ding Dong Daddy
  9. 6cuties [R.I.P]

-

Editor's Note:

Some statements were not quite true

Just made for the rhymes to go through

Bored out of my mind

And racing against time

We'll be back to normal next week...woo.

1
#1
4 Frags +

these limericks are beautiful

these limericks are beautiful
2
#2
7 Frags +

can we have all tftv articles written in limerick form

can we have all tftv articles written in limerick form
3
#3
0 Frags +

you dont have to go back just be yourself

you dont have to go back just be yourself
4
#4
14 Frags +

elevate had it bagged
(i'm sure you'd agree)
when shade was outfragged
25 to 3

elevate had it bagged
(i'm sure you'd agree)
when shade was outfragged
25 to 3
5
#5
-29 Frags +

can we not write any more like this

can we not write any more like this
6
#6
4 Frags +

Tery's account on Pornhub: http://imgur.com/a/CgR6i

Tery's account on Pornhub: http://imgur.com/a/CgR6i
7
#7
7 Frags +

hahaha great article

hahaha great article
8
#8
4 Frags +

This was fun to read, thanks man

This was fun to read, thanks man
9
#9
-3 Frags +

Awesome.

Awesome.
10
#10
-3 Frags +

this hurt my eyes

this hurt my eyes
11
#11
9 Frags +
tetrominoelevate had it bagged
(i'm sure you'd agree)
when shade was outfragged
25 to 3

can someone explain this 25-3 business? I've looked over match stats and can't see what it's about

[quote=tetromino]elevate had it bagged
(i'm sure you'd agree)
when shade was outfragged
25 to 3[/quote]

can someone explain this 25-3 business? I've looked over match stats and can't see what it's about
12
#12
0 Frags +

*finger snaps*

*finger snaps*
13
#13
-1 Frags +
Teapot_tetrominoelevate had it bagged
(i'm sure you'd agree)
when shade was outfragged
25 to 3

can someone explain this 25-3 business? I've looked over match stats and can't see what it's about

I messed up and added all of the individual round frags cozen had not realizing that they were cumulative and got cozen with 25 and shade with 3. But please stop countering poetry with logic and just let the legend live.

[quote=Teapot_][quote=tetromino]elevate had it bagged
(i'm sure you'd agree)
when shade was outfragged
25 to 3[/quote]

can someone explain this 25-3 business? I've looked over match stats and can't see what it's about[/quote]

I messed up and added all of the individual round frags cozen had not realizing that they were cumulative and got cozen with 25 and shade with 3. But please stop countering poetry with logic and just let the legend live.
14
#14
-1 Frags +

You did good! Hope analysis like this will be seen more after this.

You did good! Hope analysis like this will be seen more after this.
15
#15
3 Frags +

is wood pig dead? 3 straight ffls

http://play.esea.net/teams/46000

is wood pig dead? 3 straight ffls

http://play.esea.net/teams/46000
16
#16
1 Frags +

I've heard they are dead. Everyone I talk to are liars though so idk

I've heard they are dead. Everyone I talk to are liars though so idk
17
#17
3 Frags +

Is Pharoah starting on Mad Men now?

http://play.esea.net/index.php?s=stats&d=match&id=3782996

Is Pharoah starting on Mad Men now?

http://play.esea.net/index.php?s=stats&d=match&id=3782996
18
#18
5 Frags +

PYYYYYOUR back on mixup

http://i.imgur.com/Kjk2JLW.png

PYYYYYOUR back on mixup

[img]http://i.imgur.com/Kjk2JLW.png[/img]
19
#19
1 Frags +
x3PYYYYYOUR back on mixup

http://i.imgur.com/Kjk2JLW.png

all the people checking mix^s ESEA page to check if it's true right now haha

[quote=x3]PYYYYYOUR back on mixup

[img]http://i.imgur.com/Kjk2JLW.png[/img][/quote]

all the people checking mix^s ESEA page to check if it's true right now haha
20
#20
0 Frags +
x3PYYYYYOUR back on mixup

I've waited so long for the return.

http://i.imgur.com/vwMin.gif

[quote=x3]PYYYYYOUR back on mixup[/quote]
I've waited so long for the return.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/vwMin.gif[/img]
21
#21
0 Frags +

is xalox the new demo for mixup??

is xalox the new demo for mixup??
22
#22
0 Frags +
eagletfis xalox the new demo for mixup??

yes, and platinum is on roamer

[quote=eagletf]is xalox the new demo for mixup??[/quote]
yes, and platinum is on roamer
23
#23
2 Frags +

I guess pyyyour is replacing harb and seagull's done. Apparently medic's getting stale for harb: http://teamfortress.tv/thread/20007/looking-to-play-for-a-team-before-rosters-lock

I guess pyyyour is replacing harb and seagull's done. Apparently medic's getting stale for harb: http://teamfortress.tv/thread/20007/looking-to-play-for-a-team-before-rosters-lock
24
#24
5 Frags +

https://d1fj4sro0cm5nu.cloudfront.net/global/images/content_images/10035.jpg

[img]https://d1fj4sro0cm5nu.cloudfront.net/global/images/content_images/10035.jpg[/img]
25
#25
2 Frags +
alfahttps://d1fj4sro0cm5nu.cloudfront.net/global/images/content_images/10035.jpg

highrone

[quote=alfa][img]https://d1fj4sro0cm5nu.cloudfront.net/global/images/content_images/10035.jpg[/img][/quote]

highrone
26
#26
-12 Frags +

i guess you can say they mixup there classes :^)

i guess you can say they mixup there classes :^)
27
#27
13 Frags +
eagletfi guess you can say they mixup there classes :^)

send help

[quote=eagletf]i guess you can say they mixup there classes :^)[/quote]
send help
28
#28
2 Frags +
eagletfi guess you can say they mixup there classes :^)

nice meme

[quote=eagletf]i guess you can say they mixup there classes :^)[/quote]
nice meme
29
#29
4 Frags +
GoobledegakIs Pharoah starting on Mad Men now?

http://play.esea.net/index.php?s=stats&d=match&id=3782996

heh after that 3-19 performance i dont think so

[quote=Goobledegak]Is Pharoah starting on Mad Men now?

http://play.esea.net/index.php?s=stats&d=match&id=3782996[/quote]

heh after that 3-19 performance i dont think so
30
#30
11 Frags +
hithereGoobledegakIs Pharoah starting on Mad Men now?

http://play.esea.net/index.php?s=stats&d=match&id=3782996

heh after that 3-19 performance i dont think so

right? fucked right in the pussy

[quote=hithere][quote=Goobledegak]Is Pharoah starting on Mad Men now?

http://play.esea.net/index.php?s=stats&d=match&id=3782996[/quote]

heh after that 3-19 performance i dont think so[/quote]


right? fucked right in the pussy
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