For a long time now, I've been playing TF2/other fps's and for about the same amount of time I've experienced severe anxiety. Last year I was put on antidepressants and I found myself never going to class in order to stay up until 10 in the morning, and then to wake up as soon as scrims would start. I ended up dropping all courses for that semester and leaving campus. I'm no longer on meds, but my issues still persist.
I'm noticing that I don't actually like playing video games, that I play them solely as a self-esteem ego boost. Every time I "quit", I think about the opportunity of just grinding some more at it and eventually I'll get good enough to move up through the ranks of leagues. In a gaming session, I'm likely to either become depressed to the point where I cry, or I have a panic attack. This especially happens when I lose to someone that "I should be better than". I also feel obligated to stick with it because all of my buddies are on teams and are passing me up.
For a long time now, I've been playing TF2/other fps's and for about the same amount of time I've experienced severe anxiety. Last year I was put on antidepressants and I found myself never going to class in order to stay up until 10 in the morning, and then to wake up as soon as scrims would start. I ended up dropping all courses for that semester and leaving campus. I'm no longer on meds, but my issues still persist.
I'm noticing that I don't actually like playing video games, that I play them solely as a self-esteem ego boost. Every time I "quit", I think about the opportunity of just grinding some more at it and eventually I'll get good enough to move up through the ranks of leagues. In a gaming session, I'm likely to either become depressed to the point where I cry, or I have a panic attack. This especially happens when I lose to someone that "I should be better than". I also feel obligated to stick with it because all of my buddies are on teams and are passing me up.
if u cry/ruin ur education over a videogame u should consider stopping until u get better/finish ur education
if u cry/ruin ur education over a videogame u should consider stopping until u get better/finish ur education
If you can, perhaps try to get into a "casual" mindset and just play the game casually on community servers or whatever, stress free, no mge or competitive or anything like that; you may find it relaxing.
If that's not the case though, or if you still feel stressed about stuff then honestly take a long, long break and try something new to pass time - there's so much out there to see and do, I'm sure you can find something you're interested in. I personally know a lot of people that have developed depression/anxiety from playing an unhealthy amount of TF2/videogames in general, so you're really not alone on this one. What you're feeling certainly is not permanent, just give yourself time :)
If you can, perhaps try to get into a "casual" mindset and just play the game casually on community servers or whatever, stress free, no mge or competitive or anything like that; you may find it relaxing.
If that's not the case though, or if you still feel stressed about stuff then honestly take a long, long break and try something new to pass time - there's so much out there to see and do, I'm sure you can find something you're interested in. I personally know a lot of people that have developed depression/anxiety from playing an unhealthy amount of TF2/videogames in general, so you're really not alone on this one. What you're feeling certainly is not permanent, just give yourself time :)
if youre not really enjoying it and just grinding for a self esteem boost then you should put tf2 on the backburner and put that mentality towards working out
if youre not really enjoying it and just grinding for a self esteem boost then you should put tf2 on the backburner and put that mentality towards working out
if ur gonna let video games ruin ur life at least dont make tf2 do it.
if ur gonna let video games ruin ur life at least dont make tf2 do it.
if you don't like playing don't play...
if you don't like playing don't play...
Stop playing so competitively, and play more casually. Put your competitive mentality towards working out or something similar to boost your self esteem/ego. Instead of getting upset that others are passing you or beating you, go work out and make goals to improve in real life, like with getting a good degree and living healthy.
Do something like a New Year's resolution (but actually follow up), and instead of beating yourself up over virtual competition, try and compete with yourself and see how you can surpass you past self. Pretend your goal of getting a good degree/job, or looking fit to boost self esteem, is the equivalent of making it to Invite/Prem TF2. Once you reach it, then you can be your own champion for achieving your long term goal.
As a bonus, achieving positive real life goals will help you out significantly more than winning championships in video games.
Above all, stay strong and stay positive.
Stop playing so competitively, and play more casually. Put your competitive mentality towards working out or something similar to boost your self esteem/ego. Instead of getting upset that others are passing you or beating you, go work out and make goals to improve in real life, like with getting a good degree and living healthy.
Do something like a New Year's resolution (but actually follow up), and instead of beating yourself up over virtual competition, try and compete with yourself and see how you can surpass you past self. Pretend your goal of getting a good degree/job, or looking fit to boost self esteem, is the equivalent of making it to Invite/Prem TF2. Once you reach it, then you can be your own champion for achieving your long term goal.
As a bonus, achieving positive real life goals will help you out significantly more than winning championships in video games.
Above all, stay strong and stay positive.
u can start by not being so emotionally invested and not shit talking people then get sad when u lose or they turn out to be better than u
a good example is to not do this http://i.imgur.com/xe2dXti.jpg when i dont accept ur friend request
u can start by not being so emotionally invested and not shit talking people then get sad when u lose or they turn out to be better than u
a good example is to not do this http://i.imgur.com/xe2dXti.jpg when i dont accept ur friend request
read what trippa said and rethink your life
read what trippa said and rethink your life
If you're finding yourself not genuinely enjoying it to the point where it's beginning to affect your life outside of the game, it's time to take a step back. Perhaps try to direct your competitive energy elsewhere, set personal goals for yourself that feed your desire to work harder and train but away from videogames. As for anxiety, the feeling of 'I know I can do better but why am I not' is a tough one, I can't personally help you with this one, but just try to take it one step at a time. You'll get where you need to.
[A personal thing: I was in a similar situation the last 3 years of college, rarely sleeping, skipping classes, spending all my free time playing tf2. Which made my existing issues already worse. Almost decided to drop out or kill myself, to try fix this problem I just uninstalled everything and quit for about a year and a half. No chatting on steam, no watching streams, no reading forums. Took meds and sought therapy. I came back feeling better, though never rekindled my desire for playing or looking for a team, and instead put my skills to other use.]
If you're finding yourself not genuinely enjoying it to the point where it's beginning to affect your life outside of the game, it's time to take a step back. Perhaps try to direct your competitive energy elsewhere, set personal goals for yourself that feed your desire to work harder and train but away from videogames. As for anxiety, the feeling of 'I know I can do better but why am I not' is a tough one, I can't personally help you with this one, but just try to take it one step at a time. You'll get where you need to.
[A personal thing: I was in a similar situation the last 3 years of college, rarely sleeping, skipping classes, spending all my free time playing tf2. Which made my existing issues already worse. Almost decided to drop out or kill myself, to try fix this problem I just uninstalled everything and quit for about a year and a half. No chatting on steam, no watching streams, no reading forums. Took meds and sought therapy. I came back feeling better, though never rekindled my desire for playing or looking for a team, and instead put my skills to other use.]
If playing the game is detrimental to your life, you should definitely take a step back. As is the case for anything really, if something is hindering your happiness, or succes at life or whatever, you'd quit doing it right? Unfortunately doing so is usually not very easy. Please do consider getting (professional) help.
If playing the game is detrimental to your life, you should definitely take a step back. As is the case for anything really, if something is hindering your happiness, or succes at life or whatever, you'd quit doing it right? Unfortunately doing so is usually not very easy. Please do consider getting (professional) help.
fuck the haters drop out and play tf2 full time
fuck the haters drop out and play tf2 full time
I only get angry when someone who shouldn't beat me, beats me, if that gets to you so much you should try playing and focusing on not caring about winning, while you still play to win focus on not caring of something goes wrong. I'd tell you to completely stop playing video games competitively but maybe running away from this issue won't help you and you might find the same problem outside of video games later on, so you should fix it now.
I only get angry when someone who shouldn't beat me, beats me, if that gets to you so much you should try playing and focusing on not caring about winning, while you still play to win focus on not caring of something goes wrong. I'd tell you to completely stop playing video games competitively but maybe running away from this issue won't help you and you might find the same problem outside of video games later on, so you should fix it now.
hi, ive been through something similar like you, and thats why i stopped playing this game for quite a long time now.
my honest advice is that uninstall tf2 asap and go back to school. its not worth throwing your time away for a videogame, especially not like this.
hi, ive been through something similar like you, and thats why i stopped playing this game for quite a long time now.
my honest advice is that uninstall tf2 asap and go back to school. its not worth throwing your time away for a videogame, especially not like this.
If tf2 is affecting your life outside of tf2, in a negative way, it's probably a good idea to put it on hold for a while. It's way more important to continue your education and get your life in order before you continue to invest time into a videogame.
If tf2 is affecting your life outside of tf2, in a negative way, it's probably a good idea to put it on hold for a while. It's way more important to continue your education and get your life in order before you continue to invest time into a videogame.
It sounds like tf2 has become sort of a crutch for you. I am the same I use TF2 to escape all the horrible shit.
One thing I would say is perhaps trying to take a step away from the game.Try get some exercise go for a walk or something outside. It does wonders for your mental health.
In terms of having panic attacks if you loose to certain people. That could be something deeper than just loosing. If you can try talk to your doctor about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) It gives you advice for coping with frequent panic attacks etc.
I hope you get through all this. It can seem like its never going to end. But feel free to talk to us about it. <3
It sounds like tf2 has become sort of a crutch for you. I am the same I use TF2 to escape all the horrible shit.
One thing I would say is perhaps trying to take a step away from the game.Try get some exercise go for a walk or something outside. It does wonders for your mental health.
In terms of having panic attacks if you loose to certain people. That could be something deeper than just loosing. If you can try talk to your doctor about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) It gives you advice for coping with frequent panic attacks etc.
I hope you get through all this. It can seem like its never going to end. But feel free to talk to us about it. <3
i tried playing casually and not caring about my performance. my anger was down to a normal level and i actually played a ton better than i have been doing
i tried playing casually and not caring about my performance. my anger was down to a normal level and i actually played a ton better than i have been doing
pariahi tried playing casually and not caring about my performance. my anger was down to a normal level and i actually played a ton better than i have been doing
Great, now just make sure you don't do this again:
pariah... Every time I "quit", I think about the opportunity of just grinding some more at it and eventually I'll get good enough to move up through the ranks of leagues.
[quote=pariah]i tried playing casually and not caring about my performance. my anger was down to a normal level and i actually played a ton better than i have been doing[/quote]
Great, now just make sure you don't do this again:
[quote=pariah]... Every time I "quit", I think about the opportunity of just grinding some more at it and eventually I'll get good enough to move up through the ranks of leagues.[/quote]
I've had similar trouble in the past. If you can't have fun there's no point to play because not only are you not having fun, you'll never be good. Pretty much goes for anything else in life. You can't be great if you don't even like it.
TF2 is kinda weird because people are hesitant to quit even though they're not having fun. I can tell you all day that you should quit when you're not having fun but ya it is really tough to actually leave.
I've had similar trouble in the past. If you can't have fun there's no point to play because not only are you not having fun, you'll never be good. Pretty much goes for anything else in life. You can't be great if you don't even like it.
TF2 is kinda weird because people are hesitant to quit even though they're not having fun. I can tell you all day that you should quit when you're not having fun but ya it is really tough to actually leave.
if u dont like it dont play it
if u dont like it dont play it
there's no reason to believe you should be better than other people
try to get rid of that mindset, in game and in real life
there's no reason to believe you should be better than other people
try to get rid of that mindset, in game and in real life
^ but what if i am better than everyone else.
justvitruvianthings
^ but what if i am better than everyone else.
justvitruvianthings
yes you should quit, I doubt that boosting your ego through video games is worth everything that you mentioned that happened because of them.
find other healthier hobbies that are hard to "grind" like going to the gym or doing sports.
yes you should quit, I doubt that boosting your ego through video games is worth everything that you mentioned that happened because of them.
find other healthier hobbies that are hard to "grind" like going to the gym or doing sports.