this is tough to explain but... a while ago i contacted the Dr. Phil show in regards to my mother who is an alcoholic, cigarette smoker, bit of a hoarder, in denial about everything, generally way out of her mind and seems to not really give a fuck. they just emailed me back today to follow up. i guess when i filled out the initial 'application' i was doing it because i didnt really think id have a chance to get on the show. my mother watches Dr. Phil very often and i wondered what itd be like if she were the subject of one of his shows (there are countless people on there, that she sees, who are in her position or fit her description, and its like my mom probably never even realizes that she is one of those people who need an intervention). i dont know if i can really go through with this. number one i really dont want to be on the show or on tv, but it seems like i would have to be. secondly, i know my mother is going to react awfully when shes told "hey pack your things we are going to the studio so you can be on Dr. Phil" i dont know... i really didnt expect a human response telling me to follow up. deep down i know my mother needs something on this level to turn her life around, like a serious wake up call. but damn... i know i have to go through with this but its a lot to take it. i have to talk it out with some family before letting my mom know.

There are probably better options than dr Phil lol

A lot of people think youtubers are egotistical, and will stand by that belief religiously whenever it's brought up. forum posts of people passionately discussing why someone like me is an asshole because they watched a single video they didn't like. Back before I aliased people would frequently talk shit in-game just because I said hello when someone recognized me, my battlenet is FUNKe so occasionally i'll run into an angry individual who thrashes my content and tries to get my attention whenever they kill me, hell I browsed /tf2g/ from about 2012-2014, and i've been told by friends that people there still legitimately believe the reason i left was because I "couldn't handle that nobody liked my vids, so i moved to reddit where my feelings wouldn't get hurt". I wasn't even making videos until 2015 so that makes no sense. It's annoying to be judged purely by your content instead of your character.

i think you're an okay kid, based on several streams i've seen of yours, and very limited videos (and social media posts as well)

yeah i spoke to my older sister about it, shes kind of against it. i dont think its the best idea either but i just know that my mother needs something as "big" as being put on live tv for an intervention. we are going to look into other forms of intervention for now.

.

.

I'm bored as fuck, I'm lazy.

TF2 is a literal drug, I think it makes me feel better, and then I close it and realize I'm wasting all my life on this. I'd practice drums all day long if I could, but I have neighbours and I don't know where to put my drumkit, other than in my apartment. I want to do something of my days, I love drums, I love music, and I love TF2. I often see friends, I nearly have a girlfriend, I take breaks from the internet (and it feels great). I have a lot of fun just leaving town with friends, having rehearsals, not thinking about TF2 at all...but in the end, I just come back to it. And I spend my days on it, doing nothing else.

I don't know how to organize my thoughts

Honestly after reading a lot of these posts, you people just need to leave tf2 for some time, possibly even forever if that is what it takes. I left for only a week, started losing weight, starting getting better grades in school, was much happier. I am back now because I realize that I can do both at the same time, enjoy my favorite game and enjoy life/school. Try leaving the game, sure it might want you back but if you notice you are starting to feel/do better, just cut it off.

Plus if anyone needs a talk about anything, I'm on quite oftenly on from 4-5 and 7-9 est weekdays and all day weekends.

http://steamcommunity.com/id/trotzdem/

I feel like every team I make either dies or does terrible for really dumb reasons, and I'm heavily emotionally invested into TF2 so I just feel really shit a lot of the time. I want to join someone else's team, but I'm afraid it's going to be a repeat of last season where I don't improve because I have to relearn everything I did the previous season with my team due to having to join a low/mid open roster last second. I don't mean that in a bad way, just that this is like my third or fourth season of open and I'd really like to be able to play on a team that does well instead of just grinds to improve. While I do want to improve every day, I just don't want to have to go over all of the basics of 6s every season just because I end up with players with 0 ESEA seasons/experience.

I don't know how to feelings:
Other peoples emotions make me speechless and I can't show my own emotions in any way.

After we scrim'd you I saw you were streaming and decided to watch the vod after. There was constant complaining and toxicity in your mumble. You aren't going to be able to have a good season if the people you tryout/play with are tilting/complaining in comms the whole time. Even if your team is good it's not as enjoyable to win while playing with those kinds of people.

Also switching classes hurt your chances of ending up on a better team because you are a better med than pocket.

i could try and see if a team would pick me up but if my dad finds out(he will,god knows how),he'll most likely flip and disown me,he's generally very calm and understanding but when it comes to things as important as this he's really uptight
i have nothing against going into medical school because literally almost 95% of my dads side of the family is in the health care biz and that would be really beneficial to me when i eventually graduate,it'll make everything alot easier
on the other hand i don't want to spend 10 more years studying and suffer from having almost no free time for hobbys and let everything i've picked up in the past 7 years go to waste

there is a lot more to life than work. you need time for hobbies and enjoyment. im not saying not to pursue medical school, its an honorable profession and great income, but i think if you are considering it then you should know that you will still have time in your life for the things you enjoy. it may very well bring you to an early retirement, which would leave a lot more time for enjoying yourself than most people ever manage to find. i know the coming years seem packed with work but think of the long term and why you want to do it. there is a way to balance things out so even if you are always bogged with school/work, you will have some time to yourself.

for the time being just play your drums until someone tells you otherwise. i am a drummer as well, i have always played my kit in the house and i have a tiny as fuck room. when it was set up in here, all i had was a bed and drums, lol. i currently have an electronic drum kit, which is my next point to raise. if someone ends up complaining about the noise, definitely look into an e-kit. i know they carry a pricetag but you can get a really good, mid-tier one for around a grand, which isnt really any more than you would spend on a regular acoustic drumkit+cymbals. plus, the e-kit has a lot longer lifespan (no broken cymbals/skins) and it takes up a lot less space. theres also a ton of cool features and programs you can work within it that you cant get on an acoustic kit. finally, i find that playing on smaller pads has improved my accuracy, since i am hitting a smaller target. look into it if you havent already. i have a roland td-11 and i have loved every minute of using it. i suggest staying in the Roland brand, they really know their shit and make quality instruments.

,

Hey, I got the same setup: drums, PC, bed. I've already tried playing drums...neighbors complain. I've looked into an e-kit, but it definitely isn't the same at all, I don't want to sell my drumkit, and I really want to keep that "real" feel on the instrument. An e-kit won't really solve the problem I'm having: I've bought silent pads to put on my drumheads, and Cymbomutes, but the problem is the vibrations from the pedals, they get through the floor and all the building can feel them. I'd need to get a really really thick carpet to put under my drums, and I already have one. I practice my technique a lot on snare pads, but I really want to play drums.

Thanks for the help!

Why would you join a Mumble where no one likes you?

they came into my mumbles with my friends with my hidden access tokens
i don't see how you would think i would do that just because you dislike me
i'm not socially inept

stop posting

spill

.

i like b4nny

i relate to you on the behavior. ive made a lot of terrible decisions too because i just did not have the common sense to think about the outcome. all i can say is that every single day you are here, life gives you an abundance of opportunities to make things better for yourself. you are not doomed for eternity to continue living this way if it is not pleasing to you. it starts with recognition and taking action. you have to identify what aspects of your life you are not happy about, and then look hard at how you can begin to change those. its a slow process. the way i see it (in my situation) i spent a long time making myself miserable because i was an asshole to my friends and did a lot of stupid things to get myself in trouble, so its going to take an even longer time to fix that. but thats okay, because as long as i am approaching a future that i am happier with, then i am doing the best i can. id really like to add you and talk further in depth, i feel like some of the things you touched on in your post can be spoken of between us.

I am apathic. Like REAL apathic. For example, everytime there is a sad scene in a movie, where people would cry, I would sit there, pondering. I am a crybaby, but because of this, IT RARELY NEVER HAPPENED TO ME.

I'm also in a very, very fucked up situation right now. I'm in a bad relationship with both of my parents rn, where even a single stupid mistake can result in a physical abuse for me. I don't know if it's justifiable, I lied to my parents very often, but most of the time I don't want to because I deeply care for them, and it pains me to see them cry from time to time, especially my mom.

Social life is also a recurring problem. I am socially introvert, I have a lot of friends, both online and irl. But recently, after almost 8 years of being bullied, I am really picky with my friends. You just can't trust people these days.

tl;dr help me I am doomed.

@ memory
you should not try to justify abuse. family is not supposed to hurt. talk to somebody about it who is outside the situation, preferably a professional, and see what they have to say. i guarantee that what you are going through is not unique to you alone. there are many people your age that have very similar circumstances and go through the same thoughts, trying to provide themselves with answers and explanations. the truth is your version of the truth is going to come out warped no matter how much time you spend working it out. even if you think its the best explanation, its still going to be somewhat tainted because you are coming from a very negative environment. im not saying this to discourage you, im trying to do the opposite. i strongly advise seeking real help irl in relation to your family/abuse issues, you will get much better results through therapy than anywhere else.

as for the being introverted/apathetic part, that is not such a bad thing. i feel like many of the people here fall into that category, and i attribute it to the internet desensitizing us and making us forget how important socialization is. even then, being introverted is not innately bad. you just have to recognize your introverted traits and understand how to use them as a benefit in your life. many introverts go on to be great thinkers, artists, and innovators. dont beat yourself up over your qualities, especially ones you cannot control.

hey, sorry for posting another.

It's gotten worse. My mom had cut all trust she had on me and now just accepting me as in a "mother-son" relationship. No care, no love whatsoever. Help. Me.

Most of the times, parents distant themselves from their children to see whether their kids will realize what they have done wrong and come apologize. You need to see whether what you have done is really worth apologizing for as well as whether your relationship with your parents means more to you or being right/wrong. I'd recommend apologizing but at the same time being open about your feelings and discuss how to bring a positive change between your relationship with them. Goodluck :)

going to come off as hard but maybe you are meant to take on life independently for now. im not saying your mother will never come back into your life, but it sounds like you might be at that stage where you are the baby bird being pushed out of the nest. maybe youve got to go and face life on your own, as best you can. it sounds shitty and its going to suck but whenever i think of myself in this same situation (because im pretty much there) i think of my dad who was pretty much living on his own when he was around age 15-16. both his parents died while he was young and he had to lie about his age to get work/a house. but he did it, because he had no other choice, and he turned out pretty well for what i know of him. just dont get caught up in any drugs or alcohol, it will ruin you.