.

I try to be positive and nice to people whenever I can, especially online, but it gets really hard when everybody immediately has a negative perception about you because of your profile picture, and will insult you right off the bat. I tried to compliment someone on a nice airshot in a pub, and they just called me a retard and tried to get me kicked.

.

It's too hot to sleep under a duvet but whenever i supplement something for the duvet i keep waking up because it's too cold. I'd just managed to fix my sleep so i went to bed at a reasonable time but then i only got 5 hours sleep and fuck it up by falling asleep at my desk and then going to bed at 2pm. Just woke up and now i have to spend 24 hours staying up so i can fix my sleep again and it's not fun !
Also was looking forward to watching AotF dev stream live today but i slept through it.

I really hate how there's not a single established league for South America, people will always mention some random brazilian league without realizing that Brazilians speak Portuguese and the absolute rest of South America speaks Spanish, so instead I have to play in +100 ping servers in the US and wait months to get a region bypass request on Faceit. Basically all I want is good ping and a south american SPANISH community so that I can start there but up until now that seems impossible for some reason.

also wished BM didn't exist you can say "ignore it" "it doesn't matter" all you want but the truth is as soon as you read BM in chat or whatever it stays in your mind, at least limit your BM to faceit or pubs or scrims or whatever but in a paid league is the scummiest shit, and we expect to be taken seriously by other eSports companies smh

U can just mute ppl who you know are going to bm (lets be honest, community is small, we all know who is gonna act in what ways).

that's a solution for sure but only if youve been in this community for a decent amount of time, i very recently just got into it and im already thinking in staying an spectator at best. if someone new comes in and gets bmed chances are that person won't come back, there just really is no excuse for bm (in a "serious" competition)

i'm not trying to defend bming here but people bm in every form of competition, it's not limited to tf2

yes of course and that's fine, because most bm in bigger esports and even sports in general is just messing around but it feels like most bm in tf2 is actually ill willed like people actually do want to put others down and elevate their egos

im so fucking sick of playing process

I used to joke about it but I've actually developed a slight hatred for anything that isn't me

I get angry really easy now but I'm trying to keep it in

I'm ok with the fact that I hate myself, but I just want it to cost less energy so I can actually do shit.

I just took a shower and I feel squeaky clean and NOW I get the need to take a shit

my butt sucks

faceit is shitty and I wish it was the real savoir tf2 needs

edit: it also sucks that everyone seems to think this game has no future or further potential so it can only get worse, I have some faith in valve and the community to keep making tf2 a fantastic game, look how long melee has gone on for after all.

had curry last night and ive had ring sting all day after this mornings shit

this game fucking blows now
i miss the days when it would actually be so much fun logging into steam and playing lobbies, pugs, hell even pubs with everyone because it was just so much fun.

the quickplay changes to this shitty csgo type hub thing is kinda good, but it sucks not being able to join a friend since they disabled ad-hoc connections.

esea is a piece of shit program that barely works half the time and because its the only way for anyone to make money playing this game, we're forced to use it.
invite is slowly dying and everything b4nny is doing is delaying the inevitable.

comp tf2 is literally like super smash bros melee, except unlike nintendo, valve never came around to accepting the comp community. we've never had any valve sponsored tournaments, when the game was at its peak in playerbase literally nothing happened and look at where we are right now.

it feels awful sitting here playing this game because it has no future. people take this shit so seriously now its sad acting like faceit, or like another esports team sponsorship is gonna save this game and revitalize the community. don't force yourself to play shitty pugs on a shitty site in order to support the game. play fun pugs and stuff so you don't ruin the game for yourself and leave on a high note rather than a shitty one like everyone else.

its even worse knowing that there is no other alternative to this game. nothing feels as intricate, complex, or as amazing as tf2 does.

im tired of team drama that causes me to lose friends

i hate that i overthink things so much

i hate having anxiety

i just want to snort and smoke viagra

its fathers day and i have to be at my moms house

I cant build walls or ramps when I play demo :(

i want to quit playing because of so much irl shit happening that actually makes it feel more like a chore to play tf2 than an actual fun passtime, but i also want to finish the season so i can feel closure and finally finish playing tf2 with a sense of accomplishment.

people in ammo mod that surf every rocket but then complain about the shotgun need to not exist

.

i want to not play this game anymore but i have nothing better to do

my mic is fucking awful

i'm the unluckiest player ever
i also peaked at mid open and it makes me sad

im upset at tf2

I'm in the process of moving to London, I live up North in Halifax (near Leeds), so obviously I'm renting a house and the agents asked me to come down and sign some things. I had to leave at 8:45 this morning, get on a coach and train and travel to the office of the agents. I was there for literally under 5 minutes. I'm now on a 5 hour coach home and won't get home till 11:45. I'm having a 15 hour day just to spend less than 5 minutes signing a photocopy of my ID. Less then 1% of my time for this trip was spent doing what was needed.
WHY CANT I JUST SIGN AND PHOTOCOPY MY PASSPORT.

Told my demoman 2 weeks ago that if he doesn't fix his internet i will be forced to cut him (major lag spikes in game). Yesterday i grabbed another demoman and had them add to the ESEA roster. Told our demo he is cut because his internet still isn't fixed. He proceeds to tell me that there is one more thing he can try in order to fix it. He runs a 100ft cable to his router and that seems to have fixed the issue. If he could do this why didn't he do it in the first place when i have been warning him for weeks about it? I think rosters are locking soon and now i got to decide if i should keep the guy that i just picked up (who now cant join a roster for another week) or azion. Either way somebody is probably getting fucked. I hate running teams.