i saw the thread for venting your anger but i thought there might be better use for a thread where, a user can post something they want to get off their chest or open up about, not necessarily relating to anger, but any feeling at all. please use this thread as a platform for speaking your mind, but do so in a non-threatening way. im doing this because A) i think most of the people here could benefit from a form of "open therapy" if you will and B) im taking bets on how long itll be until somebody who cannot contain themselves bursts in and slings some rude words. that being said please refrain from playing devils advocate and starting some shit for no reason in this thread, you will be -'d plenty and will only succeed in embarrassing yourself in front of your peers. by all means, do try and offer some good advice to your fellow tftv posters.
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i guess i will start by repenting on my previous actions in this community, and bringing myself to light. ive played tf2 since the beginning of 2009 and found out about competitive in 2010. i was 14 when i got into it and im 22 now. i remember playing leagues such as TWL and saw the first ever seasons of TF2 in CEVO and UGC. during my entire competitive career i have amounted to literally shit. whether it be a team i tried to throw together with friends or teams ive joined, ive kind of always stayed around a low/mid level at best. given how long i have played the game, how low my skill level is, and my fabulous zero achievements anywhere competitive, i would argue that i am actually the worst player competitive TF2 has seen, and im not saying that so someone will come along and go "youre not that bad!" no no... its a joke that i played this game for as long as i did. some of you might remember me briefly playing in IM with WuTang Club, however i managed that spot was by pure luck, because they desperately needed a player and for one reason or another i took that spot. i genuinely wanted to give it my all, its just that i was not good enough and not prepared. i left on the worst of terms with them making myself a fool in the process, and i dont have any qualms about people hating my guts right now, but i sincerely wish to alleviate any of those hard feelings however i can. the truth is, through the entirety of me playing this game i have witnessed so much negativity between players in this community. its prevalent in any gaming community but this is the one ive associated with for the longest and it kind of bothers me that people would cut others down when in reality, the forums are here for people to learn about the game and get better. the discussion part is just for fun. so why would you turn on your peers and be a toxic asshole? well, i should know, because i was one for the most part. ive been banned from a few of the websites this community has hosted itself on, including this one, simply because i am a lowbrow troll looking to make myself relevant since my skill (or lack of it) would never get me noticed. ive undergone a lot of change in the past few months and its making me sick to look back on who ive been, despite resenting people like ive described. i guess there is some lesson to be learned about becoming what you hate. why am i bringing this up, well, maybe someone out there on this forum was curious about my background, ive always been kind of shady in the sense that i have never stuck with a single alias since i installed steam way back when. i like to think of myself as some faceless drifter that collects garbage everywhere i go and tries to make friends, usually doing the opposite. the other reason is because i havent really had much interest in this game since the stint with IM a few seasons ago (also whoever paid for my league fees if you want your money back i will return it) and im thinking of calling it quits on video games for good. i still look at this forum sometimes because im a lonely individual trying to cling to a place ive never belonged anyway, and i think thats sad, so im going to give it a rest. im not trying to make this thread about me, if you have anything to take up with me please PM it or contact me on steam, and sorry for the essay but i guess this thread is meant for people to write lots, right?
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okay tftv, your turn.

i drive a 2002 subaru impreza wrx, 5 spd. bought it off the original owner about a year ago, he took pretty damn good care of it and im happy driving it. A+ car imo

where trolls reigned with absolute power

people are ridiculous, more news later

years ago i once watched my friend wipe his booger on the crosswalk button and i have never pressed the button at any crosswalk since

its an alias, acting as a shortcut to switch your class quickly. i think by default its like shift+(class number) so example: shift+3 will switch you to pyro

says the guy that insinuated something about assassinating his competitor

not trying to deflate any hope of esports getting big, but i think the rest of the world (nongamers) would never look at it seriously enough to have something as big as the olympics funded for video games. in our own niche there will most certainly be larger and larger events as esports is growing in general, but i think that gamers represent a small percentage of the population, especially gamers who take it seriously (as a sport, for money/recognition). id love to see a seriously fuckhuge LAN someday where the audience is something like an entire football stadium at max capacity.

its evident that most if not all of these cheaters are in their teens or younger. and its sad to say that, there are equally retarded people in the playerbase who dont hack. there are just too many fucking morons that play blizzard games.

attn: low level players
you can play against noobs all day and stay inside your comfort zone and maybe slightly increase your own level of play, or you can step outside your comfort zone and get smashed by pros and learn new stuff. its called adaptation. eventually, those pros arent going to be rolling you as easily because you will become a more competent opponent. i mean shit its not like its a real life fight where your life is in danger, its a video game. just take the beating and try to learn from it and be grateful that good players are still playing this game.

it wasnt really that stupid feeling at the time but it definitely is one of the dumbest (most irresponsible) things ive ever done that i can recall right now... when i was 19 i packed up my stuff into my car and decided to drive to california (from nj where i live) with my then-gf and my dog, pretty much having no plan. as if that wasnt a dumb enough idea in itself, we went to a psytrance festival in texas where i wound up taking acid for the first time. not only was i in a completely unknown territory hundreds of miles from home, but i had just decided that this old man who had given me a totally fucking eyeballed amount of LSD (i watched him pour the liquid onto a piece of candy) was my friend and to trust him. i mean im kind of glad that i did, because i had been curious about LSD for a long time prior and never had a connection for it, but in hindsight that is just balls to the wall retarded and im glad that i wound up having a good trip and didnt have to call for help or have a freak out. shit was cash though. i did acid a few times after, my largest measured dose having been 4 tabs (if you can call that a measurement) and i think those candies that the old man in texas dosed me with hit me harder, so who knows...

i went to andorra by myself for about a month and that was tight

hey so late reply but i very much appreciate your response. i dont think my network is actually the issue. for some reason i had the idea of copying over my old cfg from my previous laptop (it was set for absolute shite graphics, best frames possible, you get the idea) because my older laptop could barely handle tf2. im using the same cfg on the new laptop and i havent had any lag issues since installing the cfg. i think it must be something graphically, then, that was causing me to skip or have small sudden spikes. maybe something with directx, who knows, im not too well versed in that department. oddly enough i have been playing wireless for years and its never given me a problem, though i do prefer to use an ethernet cable (and i do if its something i really dont want to chance dc'ing from).

as of now its playing fine but im using my old cfg settings, oh well i guess im just going to stay on minimal graphics :P

also want to note, on my old laptop i get good ping (~30) no problem. however, on the new machine i am pinging around 70 to the same servers.

hey so recently i got a new laptop that is a huge upgrade from my previous one. while every game ive played so far runs 1000000% better, ive noticed that with TF2 specifically i have a problem. im getting good frames, but quite consistently i will experience a big of lag/warping every 20-30 seconds. im just curious where i should start looking if i want to fix this issue.