One time when I was roughly 8, myself, my brother and my brother's friend went to our local park. Shortly after we got there, instead of playing soccer, we all had this stupid idea that we should mess around with one of the public barbecues that they have there. I use the term 'mess' lightly. My brother lit it with some matches that they bought at a milk bar, and soon after we started dropping water from a drinking fountain onto it so that it would burn, which was we thought was awesome at the time.

But shortly after we started doing so, my brother's friend had the great idea that we should put piss on the barbecue. What a mistake that turned out to be. So anyway, he went into a nearby public toilet and took a bottle that was on the ground with him. And sure enough, soon after he came out laughing with a bottle with with 1/4th fucking piss.

He then immediately emptied the bottle of piss onto the barbecue, producing hot and steamy clouds of urinated gas. It was absolutely revolting. You could barely breathe. I'm glad that there was nobody close to us to truly realise what we were doing at the time, partly because it was downright retarded, and secondly because it smelled AWFUL. Like, I can't even begin to describe how foul of a smell burning piss is. But now I do.

As the piss started to form little flaky urine-omelettes before our very eyes, we all just limped and rolled around gagging, yelling and laughing. Eventually the smell was too bad for me so I ran some 40 metres away. I COULD STILL SMELL IT. Finnaly realising how much our little heads fucked up, I ran even further away, so that I could truly no longer smell our masterpiece. Then I just threw up on the grass as people were casually running by and doing their thing. My brother and his friend ran back to home shortly after. I did the same thing after throwing up a few more times.

Oh, and I should mention that people were using the barbecue the day after to cook sausages.

going out till 4am to catch pokemon

why did you buy overwatch a thousand times

I attempted to masturbate after eating hot wings.

I accidentally put on my cum sock.

I attempted to masturbate more than 10 times in one day.

I went to a anime convention.

I visited the anime club at the library.

I got a TF2 tattoo.

I once ate at Pizza Hut.

I tried the Taco Bell breakfast menu.

In 1st grade ( I think it was 1st grade ) the first day of school, it was our lunch period, and I was waiting in the lunch line and some kid cut in front of me. Punched him in the balls. I got 3 days detention on the first day of school and my parents were pissed at me.

In 6th grade I got in a fight with one of the more muscular guys in the school, not because he wasn't friends with me, but because he saw me holding a kid by his neck. I was holding the kid by his neck because he twisted my head when he was behind me for some stupid reason. Instead of trying to explain to the muscular kid why I was holding him like that, I decided to fight him and got the shit beaten out of me.

In 8th grade, there was this annoying short pair of twins that would constantly pick on me. they had the most annoying laugh and buck teeth I've ever seen, and just the sight of them made me hate them. They would always make fun of me, and one day I had enough of it. One of the twins kept... fake hitting me? I don't know what to call it. He would keep throwing his fist at my face and stopping before he hit me just so that he could get me to flinch, and after the 4th time I pushed him as hard as I could. There was a steel fold-up chair right behind him. He tripped over it and he hit his head on the concrete floor. Luckily for me the teacher didn't do anything to me because he knew the kid was being a jerk to me for the longest time.

Thankfully in high school I haven't done anything too dumb that I know of. Haven't gotten in any violent situations since that last one.

circle of death with coke, sodastream syrup and milk

make jokes on 4chan

These won't surprise the people that know me but buckle up because uncle Lambda has some tales to tell.

My first (and only) time hunting with a rifle was full of quality cringe such as.

1) Friends father teaching me the ins and outs of firearm safety. When he's finished and sure his lecture had sunk in he hands me the .22 to hold for a few minutes. Unfortunately I blanked on the aspect of trigger discipline and ND'd a round straight through my tent.

2) Constantly made shitty Full Metal Jacket/ Starship Troopers references the entire night.

3) A few hours of missing rabbits and foxes we head back to camp. I had been designated to hold all the ammo which I kept in the front pouch of my hoody. When we got back I emptied what I thought was all the ammo out of the pouch. Fast forward to when we are collecting firewood I found some dried Callistemon pods that would make for great tinder, I filled my hoody pouch and without a second thought dumped the entire contents straight into the fire. Luckily no-one got hurt but I my friend had a thousand-yard stare for the rest of the night, I don't think I've felt that stupid in my life but some things come close.

SUCH AS

• Telling my entire family that I had a Runescape gf
  
• Literally kicking a cactus at Scout Camp
  
• Wrapping a 2.5m snake skin around a car seat to "Prank" someone who HATED snakes
  
• Got into a facebook argument over tf2 when I was like 14 and decided to post the entire thing to /v/ for the lulz, Those guys are pretty good at finding your personal information

That's all I can think off the top of my head....

i need to see this

As a teen, I once attempted to pick up a horse shoe off of an anvil because I wanted to see how heavy it was. The stupid part was that I had literally just watched it come out of the forge and fade from red-hot. It obviously SEARED my fingers. I don't think I've ever felt something that hot in my entire life. I then somehow managed to escape from the scene before my mother or the farrier (guy who makes horseshoes) could realize what I had done. Then I thankfully found some water to run over the massive blisters forming on my fingertips.

When we were leaving the barn, I finally showed my mom what I had done. She was so overwhelmed at how dumb I was that she turned me around, and made me go tell the farrier so that he could also laugh at my idiocy. I still haven't lived that incident down.

I had a really bad sleeping schedule last semester, where it got to the point where instead of sleeping before my awful 7 am calc iii exams I would just pull an all nighter, which was only an hour or two up later than usual for me at that point, and then head to my exam as if it was some evening exam.

The really dumb part is that I decided I felt like playing terraria for like 5 hours straight helping keith build this place, even long after he went to bed himself.

Needless to say I didn't do so hot on that exam...

Or really much of anything that last year, I just nosedived into video games really.

In 8th grade, this kid sat in front of me on the bus, and it was hat day or some shit and he had this orange cowboy hat on. I touched it repeatedly just to screw with him. He got really fucking upset and just sucker punched me right in the face. Of course being the bright young man I am, I punched him back, little did i know how psycho this kid was. At the point where i punched him back, we pull up to his bus stop. He is sitting right behind the bus driver (shout outs to him literally doing nothing through all of this) and he stands up and goes on a five minute rant on how he is going to bring a knife to school the next day and kill everyone. Next day i get on the bus and there is like five administrators waiting for him. We finally get to school and they pat him down and search his backpack, with him having a butter knife in his backpack. He got expelled and I just got suspended from riding the bus for 3 days, so i skipped and just played MvM all day.

From that day i have learned never to touch another man's hat, regardless of how silly it looks.

I started playing mge

When I was around 11 I really wanted a ps3 but my father said we couldn't get one unless our xbox 360 broke since we had just saved up for one (and it was under warranty). Knowing that nothing would stop me from playing Little Big Planet, I took a big clump of dirt and dust I found behind the TV, put it in the xbox disc tray and closed it. Sure enough, it broke the 360 and the guy at best buy never bothered to check what was wrong with it so we got our money back and bought a ps3. Little Big Planet was pretty good.

http://www.teamfortress.tv/21249/tf2-ink-thread
post up, brother

i volunteered to play on a hl team

i used to main pyro

I used to think MGE mattered and that I was good because I beat other pub-level players.

178 hours of praising highlander and thinking i was good because i could hit flare combos.

it wasnt really that stupid feeling at the time but it definitely is one of the dumbest (most irresponsible) things ive ever done that i can recall right now... when i was 19 i packed up my stuff into my car and decided to drive to california (from nj where i live) with my then-gf and my dog, pretty much having no plan. as if that wasnt a dumb enough idea in itself, we went to a psytrance festival in texas where i wound up taking acid for the first time. not only was i in a completely unknown territory hundreds of miles from home, but i had just decided that this old man who had given me a totally fucking eyeballed amount of LSD (i watched him pour the liquid onto a piece of candy) was my friend and to trust him. i mean im kind of glad that i did, because i had been curious about LSD for a long time prior and never had a connection for it, but in hindsight that is just balls to the wall retarded and im glad that i wound up having a good trip and didnt have to call for help or have a freak out. shit was cash though. i did acid a few times after, my largest measured dose having been 4 tabs (if you can call that a measurement) and i think those candies that the old man in texas dosed me with hit me harder, so who knows...

When I was like I wanna say 10 years old I lived on this farm house in rural maryland. We had a peach tree and peaches would grow on the tree during the spring. So, one day my mongo 10 year old brain thought, dude you know what would be sick? if i got a knife, threw the peaches in the air and sliced them mid-air because idk man that seemed like fun to me. So I get a kitchen knife, i throw a few peaches in the air and I slice a couple in the air and I'm having fun slicing my fucking peaches until. The knife slips out of my fucking hand, falls directly straight down to my leg and just stabs my leg. So I end up limp walking to the front door while screaming for my mom, crying. She eventually hears me screaming, rushes to me to put pressure on my wound while cleaning it and eventually wrapping it in a bandage. Holy shit man whenever I think back to how retarded that was I cringe so hard.

Swapped to Overwatch

Got A_Seagull to sign a strange market gardener instead of a strange original :/

i was at a indian camp when i was like 13 or something and saw this weird bug in the grass and i touched it and it stung my finger.. no idea what bug it was even to this day but it hurt like a bitch

holy shit that was basically fruit ninja gone wrong

:/

Played Pokemon Go while driving

(was a joke)

i dont remember what i was doing with a knife but knowing me it was some dumb shit like cutting up fireworks but i dropped it and it goes point first right onto my toenail. no blood (because it hit my toenail), but my whole toenail turned purple and it was pretty fucking painful and nasty

existing

budget cut muma post