Before I start, I'd like to thank my friends OldStalker and TagillasteadyPOZ for making this guide possible. I couldn't have done it without them.
For nearly four years, nearly all Valve servers and a handful of community servers have been plagued with brand new accounts using every cheat in the book, running on a script that requires no human input. Thousands of these accounts are automatically generated and queue into casual every day. Joining a server and seeing the exact same name, picture and message getting spammed in chat will strike fear into the heart of even the most hardened TF2 players. Getting headshot and deafened by a cacophony of noisemakers is just the start of it.
Before you mention it, yes, the calling a vote is the best way to cull the mechanical beast from a server. However, if you spend even an hour in a server you'll realize that the TF2 is a dog eat dog world. I've been in servers where the opponents have asked my team to kick our bots, only to laugh and insult us when we asked them to do the same. You can NOT rely on the votekicks when it comes to getting rid of bots on the enemy team. I'm not implying that you should enter a cold war where you're stuck in the relative safety of spawn while you wait for the enemy team to kick their bots. If there's a bot on your team, call a votekick. Simple as that.
There are however, times when the automaton menace will outnumber you and your allies. If you're one of the lucky few to survive the hail of votekicks and micspam, I hope that you'll be able to remember this guide. Just because you made it out doesn't mean that the enemy team hasn't been reduced to ashes. This will be the ultimate test for you and the team mates that have made it out of black boy hell.
How do you fight that which feels no pain?
I hope you've got a few unlocks ready. As long as youre stuck with robots, your regular loadout will become worthless. Time to dust off the Vaccinator, Sniper Rifle, Fists of Steel as well as the Kritzkreig. I haven't mentioned this by now, but if you arent an expert then you wont stand a chance. Sorry if I got your hopes up, but anything less than perfection wont cut it when you're facing aimbot. In this fight, milliseconds are the difference between life and death.
Grab a Boston Basher, let your Vaccinator and Krtizkreig Medic build up until they're at 100% charge. Make sure that the Heavy is overhealed with his fists of steel out. It is NECESSARY to keep your kritz medic safe at all times, as they wont have the luxury of the Vaccinators resistances. As soon as you stop sweating bullets, its time to leave the spawn. Due to the long time it takes to set up, you might only get one or two shots at this.
The Heavy goes out first, Fists of Steel covering his face up with a "Bullet resistance" shield over his head. After you hear the tin men waste their first volley dealing next to no damage to your tanky friend, your Medics need to start healing you. By popping the Krtiz and Vacc uber at the same time, you become indestructible. The bots will keep trying to take the heavy out with no success, all the while you're mowing them down one after another. -150 damage after -150 damage, working the bolt on your rifle as fast as you can. Once all the androids lay defeated and the chorus of "Nice shot!"s have been replaced by the silence of victory, that's when you know that you have won.
That was the easy part.
Rush over to their spawn as fast as you can, make sure that every member of your team is fully overhealed. Machines are not smart. They do what they're told to do, and the only reason the hackers are as strong as they are is because of their overwhelming numbers. Seeing as you've killed them seconds apart, you'll need to be handy with the steel in order to take them out as they start respawning. Letting more than two of them out at the same time is almost always certain doom. May your aim be true and your breath be steady. Hold the line for as long as you can.
Unless a black cat crossed your path recently, new players will start joining the server. A few of them will fall sure, as the machines will use their numbers to kick the players out. This wont work for long, as soon enough, real players will outnumber the bots. One by one, you'll see the iron threat being banished out of the server one by one. You probably haven't felt it before, but freeing the server from the grasp of the hacker bots is the most euphoric feeling you'll ever get in TF2. No time to revel in it though, as the RED team has started contesting the control point. Get back to work soldier.
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