I can't wait to slap people
Account Details | |
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SteamID64 | 76561198053653249 |
SteamID3 | [U:1:93387521] |
SteamID32 | STEAM_0:1:46693760 |
Country | Hong Kong |
Signed Up | October 22, 2013 |
Last Posted | July 30, 2020 at 12:22 AM |
Posts | 581 (0.1 per day) |
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Mouse | Dirty |
Keyboard | Dirty |
Mousepad | It's mostly used as a large coaster for drinks |
Headphones | Dirty |
Monitor | Also very dirty |
The air quality is so bad in the bay right now. Even down in San Jose the sky is all ashy and it smells of burning wood. It also hurts to breathe. One of my coworkers told me about her family having to evacuate, some sustaining burns, and a lot of people losing their homes. It's not good up there.
Can you draw Phil, the Tip of the Hats robin mascot
Or me suplexing Getawhale
My name is Jasmine and I like butts.
Sometimes my chest tightens up and it feels like something in my hear or lungs is shifting around and I'm unable to roll over or move besides lie on my back and try and breath until it passes and then all of a sudden it's gone. Usually happens sometime really late at night when I'm asleep and it wakes me up.
That and when my printer suddenly jams and makes an angry noise and starts beeping.
I'm still very unhappy and I don't know how to fix it besides waiting until I forget.
I went home after TotH feeling incredibly empty and lost but also very full of love. The last two weeks since I got home were spent holed up in my room when I wasn't at work. Even my coworkers noticed I was uncommonly quiet. Being around the people there at ESA made me feel both wonderful and terrible. Part of me is happy to be around people that have common ground, but part of me is convinced I'm always in the way because I'm nothing compared to these other people and I've snaked my way into something good. I keep convincing myself that people will instantly hate me because I'm annoying or whatever. But it was so easy to talk about all this personal shit to them, and I don't know if it was because we were all a little drunk, but I had never been able to talk so freely about things to somebody. And now I'm back home. There's a tendency where I close off and put on a face for my friends and pretend I'm okay, I even do this to my boyfriend though he sees through my bullshit right away. I'm always scared to talk to friends too much because I'm afraid once the time comes that I need to talk about some heavy stuff they'll think I'm a handful and just leave. So I keep people around a safe version of me. And there isn't even that much shit going on in my life that's terrible besides feeling like I'm running towards a goal that doesn't exist. I work 6 days a week so it keeps me occupied but once my contract ends I'm not sure what I want to do or where I'd want to go. The 6 years I spent in school have made me not want to go into the field that my major points towards, and it feels like I've wasted all that time finding out that I didn't want to work in a studio after all. TotH made me feel useful for a bit but in the long run I don't know what my purpose in this world is, if there was one for me.
I also looked at photos and videos of myself and was very unhappy with how I look. There are things I can change with work (weight, clothing, hair) but there are things I can't and it just hurts because even though plastic surgery is a thing it's still quite a commitment. It's part bullshit-self centered thinking but I can't NOT stop thinking about all this and it's killing me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2DTXCEXnTU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0K7m0jOgPo
https://soundcloud.com/ideaot/da-ba-digital-love
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2F-5KEkElwvlw6DVKQEy5bEmcQ_RRQcN
Jw321123Sponsored by weedmaps?
I'll be wearing my Weedmaps cap so let's say sort of yes.
http://jasbutts.com/projects/gallery/emote.jpg
Some of the ones I've done. You can find them mostly on the TFTV channel and the TotH channel.