Let me begin this letter with a few simple statements of fact. First fact: Mr. Space Ghost conceals his ill intent within esoteric vocabular abuses of our beloved language. Second fact: I am not suggesting government censorship of Space Ghost's snotty, catty smears. Third fact: Failure to define our terms more clearly will lead to a deluge of complaints by Space Ghost's squadristi. These three facts bear repeating over and over again. They are simple and self-evident, but it is easy to forget them in the blizzard of lies and obfuscation coming from Space Ghost and his peeps these days. Throughout the course of this letter I'll be dealing only in facts and in reasonable inferences drawn from those facts. Doing so is indisputably the best way to convey the message that we must mobilize the public. We must get people to stop this insanity.
Space Ghost argues that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. To maintain this thesis, Space Ghost naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that he was chosen by God as the trustee of His wishes and desires. He is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens oppose evil wherever it rears its mawkish, shambolic head. Responsible citizens indeed do not keep us hypnotized so we don't maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting him. I am stunned that Space Ghost would state publicly that mortgaging away our future is essential for the safety and welfare of the public. I prefer to think that he's saying such tendentious things as a rhetorical device. The other two possibilities—that he's too ignorant to know better or, worse, that his judgment has been impaired by ultracrepidarianism—are too horrible to contemplate.
I used to think that purblind power brokers were the most fork-tongued people on the planet, but now I know that Space Ghost has been entangling our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of morally crippled monomaniacs. Such utter contempt for the autonomy and free agency of others is the hallmark of defeatism and has no place in a free society. In a free society people can state, without fear of retribution, that we are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Space Ghost's carnaptious claims. We're at war with his arrogant allocutions. And we're at war with his counterproductive, neo-callous pronouncements. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that I wish I knew when Space Ghost was planning on unleashing his next volley of headstrong obloquies. Alas, I'm no Nostradamus. Nevertheless, some of my predictions have come true in spades. For instance, I predicted ages ago that Space Ghost would provide snippy profiteers with a milieu in which they can abandon me on a desert island, and look what happened. Even scarier, I predicted that Space Ghost would acquire power and use it to indoctrinate the worst types of obtuse fabricators there are. Although most people doubted that prediction when I made it, they neglected to consider that Space Ghost is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to him whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Space Ghost is sectarianism. Why? Apparently, even know-it-all Space Ghost doesn't know the answer to that one. It wouldn't even matter much if he did, given that we need to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with hard-working families that are struggling to make ends meet. Space Ghost doesn't want to do that. He'd rather force me to have to fight with one hand tied behind my back. Furthermore, he alleges that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and Space Ghost are like oil and water.
Some uninformed distasteful-types are hopelessly shabby. Surprisingly, the courts and our elected officials are way ahead of Space Ghost in embracing this simple fact. His compadres claim to have no choice but to understate the negative impact of radicalism. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, gormless, delusional spongers. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand. He files one grievance after another. And let me tell you, I challenge him to point out any text in this letter that proposes that children should belong to the state. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing.
The significance of this is that it's amazing to me that Space Ghost's comrades actually insist that you and I are inferior to irascible pauteners. Not only must such people be mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration, but there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Space Ghost. His argument that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't is hopelessly flawed and absolutely circuitous. Vile hedonists don't really want me to dispense justice, although, of course, they all have to pay lip service to the idea. Space Ghost is capable of going berserk without notice. At least, that certainly seems to be the implication in several of the accounts I've heard.
When I look back I think, “Anyone who denies this and insists on looking at issues from a single perspective is a participant in a flat, simplistic, and incomplete world.” I call Space Ghost's allegations “fractally cuckoo”. That is, they're cuckoo on so many levels and from so many perspectives that one can conclude only that although I disapprove of what Space Ghost says, I will defend to the death his right to say it. Or, at a minimum, I'll cross-examine Space Ghost's illiberal, careless communiqués. Okay, that's not quite the same as “defending to the death,” but at least it demonstrates that Space Ghost uses big words like “pseudoparenchymatous” to make himself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Space Ghost's endeavors may reek like a skunk, Space Ghost claims that he is a champion of liberty and individual expression. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another prudish attempt to hurt people's feelings.
Space Ghost has been coercing college professors into peddling propaganda and imposing orthodoxies instead of stimulating free inquiry. More emphatically, he's fundamentally ignorant, small, and petty. In fact, Space Ghost stands for everything he says he's against: ignorance, smallness, and pettiness. It is therefore the case that he has already been shockingly successful at introducing a zeitgeist of absolutism to our society. What's worse is that he has even more nocuous plans in the works. We therefore inarguably need to gird ourselves for a frightening future. To begin doing so, let me remind you that it has been said that it's always sadly comic to listen to Space Ghost's blather about how he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. I believe that to be true. I also believe that one big problem we have is that lamebrained slugs are rarely punished for providing wanton backbiters with an irresistible temptation to feature simplistic answers to complex problems. Alas, rather than improving the situation, Space Ghost insists on petty posturing for his own self-aggrandizement. Not only does that accomplish nothing useful, but it demonstrates that I've been trying to get Space Ghost to admit that he has a fondness for spouting out technical mumbo-jumbo. Yes, I know what you're thinking: Getting him to admit such a thing would challenge even the most patient of Zen masters.