this is really rough dude, probably needs to be fundamentally rewritten.

"I am" sounds clinical, don't avoid common modern contractions unless you intentionally want to sound like a robot.

"This means, for most of my life, etc" dont start a sentence with "this", its a really vague reference to the previous sentence. also chill with the subordinate clauses in commas mid sentence (and just lower the amount of commas in general). <-- this applies to the entire essay

"Most of us are well-off, living in an affluent area, of Christian faith, Caucasian, and with intelligence in our DNA." holy shit man
"most of us" most of who? you haven't referenced a group of people yet, only an area. fix with "most of the residents of etc"
"of christian faith, caucasian" again, you are referring to the area as both having a faith and having a race, this plainly makes no sense.
"with intelligence in our DNA" do you want your college to read your essay and get the strong impression that you are a genuine racist because thats what this clause portrays.

"With all of these traits ..."
your problem arises from verbiage like "so many" (especially used so repetitively). stop speaking in completely vague statements

"For a lot of my fellow..."
you are combining different styles and tones here. fellow implies casual relationship, comrade implies fierce, militaristic bonds. "too worth it" is pure ugly english. worth "it" means nothing, what is the specific worth of the opportunities? worth the life experience earned, the humanitarian feeling of good, the value in reaching out to communities, or the worth of the listing on your college application? also just slapping too on the front of the phrase completely negates the impact of the thought, as if there is actual debate as to whether the opportunities are worthwhile or not. "perfect bubble" again seems racist/classist/generally falsely superior. be proud of where you are from, but do not consider yourself better than others because of it. no college wants a kid riding a high horse about his hometown.

"But I choose to be..."
"smaller sector" makes no sense in context here, a group of people would never be referred to as a sector. the major issue with this sentence though is that you are continuing to portray yourself as someone who believes themselves better than those around them. not only are other communities below your intellectual capacity, but also your peers who idle and waste their time.

"My group chooses..."
"my group" makes you sound as if you founded and operate the volunteer operations. if this is true, expand on it. if it isnt, then make it clear that the group of volunteering students/citizens is just something you are a part of or involved in. the quote in this sentence is incredibly clunky, dump it or slim it down.

"I chose to go down to..."
this honestly seems fine, still sort of clunky feeling maybe swap "go down" with "travel" or "visit"

"We were a group..."
super repetitive, and makes you seem self absorbed. delete this sentence period

its been thrown around before as a way valve could logically explain class limits to the casual audience

I haven't actually played the map but heres some stuff to consider just from a holistic perspective

in general, i really dislike the number of 64 unit jumps needed to get around the map, especially at mid. most maps use those jump heights sparingly or unintentionally, so maybe look into reducing the number slightly because they are a mildly frustrating gameplay quirk.

the spawn room has quite a walk before you get to the door, larger than really any map in the map pool by a pretty large margin. i dont see any harm in just moving the spawns forward and cutting off the back part of the room.

for last:

http://i.imgur.com/vfvFzas.jpg

for second:

http://i.imgur.com/DJ3G04A.jpg

for mid:

http://i.imgur.com/fwvi09n.jpg

also i was an early playtester for the OG mutagen, this seems miles more likely to be a viable map than mutagen 1 was, so keep it up

this is a pretty normal type of graph and really useful for comparing both the value changes in individual leagues and tournaments as well as the overall prize money in tf2, idk why everyone is complaining.

Listen here little Muma. You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that ain't what I'm about. Let me just say, you are perfect the way you are. You hear me sugar? PERFECT. Don't ever change. You deserve anything and everything you want. Stay safe for me, baby Muma.

also imo its less worthwhile to talk about creating maps to suit the balance of the game because A.) that requires a massive amount of effort and B.) the community dislikes new maps in general and new maps take a huge amount of time to catch on (which would especially be the case with maps that have dramatically different pushing dynamics than traditional 5cp maps). slight balance changes to classes or gameplay elements that can work with the existing 8 maps can be done a lot more easily and tested very quickly.

then last points would just be unpushable without big ad and no round would ever end. you need to go the opposite way, make last points harder to defend and more teams would risk a push out of last because they have lower chances of successfully defending. that would cause fewer stalemates at last and more rounds on the board.

tery

heres some stuff valve could do to encourage pushing just with balance changes

sticky traps are nerfed but stickies in general are buffed, fairly self explanatory

true solo ubers last longer/flashing is more costly, which would allow a solo uber to force a defending uber that would either require a lot of flashing and drain quickly or require defenders to leave the fight/rotate and makes space for the attacking team.

full charge bodyshots do less than 150, would make pushing into a sniper more realistic, noscope/quickscope bodyshot damage could even be buffed to compensate for the dpm and just remove the cheesy mechanic that lets a player stare at an entrance from their spawn for 45 seconds and forces the enemy uber to be bad. headshots would still be instant kill.

buff spy to enable him to get picks in stalemates more easily, higher risk/higher reward than sniper which has one of two outcomes: spy dies, allows opposing team to send a sac, or spy gets important kills and enables a push. the speed buff was a really good step in the right direction, maybe a slight buff on decloak time would be a good start

25% is unbelievably high, if even 1% of the funds from everything bought in the mann co store every year went towards the i-series events or was spread out through a number of lans, then the scene would see a massive growth near instantly

maps can be designed to make attackers have larger advantages in general with high ground or positional advantage. its not really worth talking about anyway because the community would never pick up a custom gamemode like that for competitive, it just wouldnt get tested and would never get introduced to the map pool

i think theres a lot more to discuss here

try Larry21, my team is no longer using it but its an extremely good name

2 medic would be fine if medic couldnt recieve an overheal. it makes sense lore wise too, because medic has to insert a special heart into his patients in order to use the medigun on them and he wouldn't be able to do that surgery on himself. problem solved youre welcome valve

this map is insanely large, most areas on the map could be scaled down by 25-50%