believe in yourself

it's really all there is to it, lol

It's a mind set. You can't let people walk on you or they will continue to do it and you have to have pride in who and what you are and what you do. If you don't like who you are or what you're doing. Well, what are you doing?

If you're proud of your accomplishments, skills, traits, anything really, other people will see that - and if you bring passion into the things you do or engage with that can be freely expressed when you're confident.

There's no shame in admitting you're out matched. I've been put in plenty of situations that I simply wasn't prepared to handle. If you can ask for help from somebody you trust, you can approach the situation with a lot more confidence. If you feel nervous, or especially intensely nervous, rather than worrying about what can go or will eventually go wrong, lose yourself in the activity, alienate yourself from your nervous energy by engaging whatever activity you're in with passion. Worst case scenario, you've tried your best and can go to bed without regret.

Here are a few examples:

- I once had to present to 700 students and lead a panel discussion on Feminism in undergraduate. I'm a Marxian feminist, and there were very few people in my corner that night, and amongst the panel I knew there was absolutely no one I could bounce off of (hell I didn't even really know them). I ended up being a bit sardonic and the crowd turned on me until I explained what I meant more clearly. I'll admit, sitting at home prior to going into the auditorium, I was staring at a bottle of vodka. My roommates were all joking with me and trying to distract me because they could tell I was really, really nervous. I decided against having more than a shot (hey one for the road ;) ). The meeting went off without a hitch and at the meet and greet afterwords; I was the most popular person with people telling me how well I'd done despite never having really done any student functions like that before.

- I once went on a date with a girl I had been absolutely obsessed with for months. I was so nervous, and there were even some heart stopping moments along the way. I saw her working by herself (she did campus grounds crew). I finally worked up the nerve; instead of hoping to run into her at local bars (as I had in the past) or hoping for her to show up to the same party as I had (this had been done on several occasions) I would invite her out, alone, with me. I even offered in the course of the conversation to help her out with her work. She agreed, and I took that nervous energy and put it into listening to what she was saying incredibly carefully and providing stimulating responses - or at least what I hoped would be stimulating responses. Of course, she gave me her phone number so we could finalize arrangements. I went home that evening and called the number she had provided me, and all I got was the answering machine for what sounded like a local business of some type. I was absolutely crushed - and pretty upset - that I had been so humiliated by her. Then some of the guys that I lived with saw how crap I was feeling about everything, and we went downstairs to have a bit of a smoke on the pipe and a few drinks. That's when my phone rang (I of course gave her my number as well ;) ) and it turned out that her roommate had played a bit of a prank on her and changed her voice message because she'd heard a guy was coming over to pick her up that night and had decided to fuck with me lol. We had a wonderful evening, and I was shaking on the drive to her place.

- Lastly, my senior thesis for undergraduate was selected by the dean to be presented to the university (I was also awarded a cash prize - only 5 other students were awarded such an honor). I also had to defend it against a panel of professors. I even invited my grandma to come and watch me present, I also chose to go second (I'd have rather gone first, no act to follow ;) ). The place was packed, because every student who came was treated to some sort of care package (it had certificates for free stuff from the campus store). The first presentation was scientific and was full of much, much harder work than mine. When I got up to speak I could feel myself shaking a bit, I couldn't even see to the back of the auditorium. I'd rehearsed what I was going to say 3 times on several different test subjects (one over the phone). I tweaked it for time, for content, and for humor (I like to make people laugh). I started off nervous, but I'd put a joke right in on the opener, and when I heard laughter from the audience I immediately got this overwhelming high. The strongest high I'd ever gotten. I can't even remember what I said now lol. I knocked that shit out of the park, they laughed at my jokes, liked the pictures I put up (I had a damn nice power point which consisted of 3 pictures that were to flash behind me when I said certain words) and I dominated the questions that were asked. I even had my research materials on hand because my best friend came an hour ahead of time to make sure she was in the front row with all my shit so that I could show off if they attacked my sources (I had some of it with me, but I had a box with 248 index cards and several extremely rare pamphlets and pictures).

no fear

well first step is not having the name "phobia"

....and stay true to yourself

lol :D

Working out helps.

woah thanks, that helped a shit ton! It's just like how I ask people how to become a good sniper and they answer don't miss the head. I always appreciate it whenever I receive great advice like this.

work out

yolo but unironically

What could i do to work out guys. I'm a poor person and i definitely couldn't afford a gym membership

besides pushups, i usually do like 20 or so before i go to sleep. Not alot but it's something

drink

go running in a forest and find heavy rocks and pick them up or something

what would you rather want as an answer?

there's no shortcuts in doing anything in life besides getting lucky. if you don't have confidence, you need to build it up in yourself, and to do that you need to believe in yourself. if you can't have faith in yourself, how are you going to be able to build on it?

it's the same thing as relating to your question about sniping. there is no secrets towards getting better at sniping besides practicing, being naturally good, or cheating. just because an answer is direct doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it!

Throw yourself into as many uncomfortable situations as you can. Try to choose ones that have no lasting consequences and where you do not care about the outcome. For example:

Simple: Ask the cutest girl you can see on the street for the time.
Simple+: Ask the cutest girl you can see on the street for the time, when she tells you, throw a passing complement at her (By the way, you're incredibly beautiful) and then instantly walk away before she can respond.

The more times you have adrenaline kick in, and are able to keep it under control, the more confident you will be when you actually need to. It's a game of experience. The above might sound really easy but for someone with little confidence, approaching the girl even just to ask the time could be difficult. Still, once you have done it, walk away and have a little laugh about it. Yes... it was dumb, but you still pulled it off. Hell, even walking past a stranger, making eye contact and smiling at them could be a difficult challenge for someone with little confidence.

Practice makes perfect, so if you want to get better at being more confident, you need to put yourself into more situations where you need to be confident. The good thing about practicing this skill is that you can be selective and choose things that don't break you. Write a list of things that make you nervous, and see if you can come up with a harmless way to practice them. Then go actually practice them and have a laugh. They will get easier and you will be able to carry this experience into tasks of importance later on.

its really not

sniping is thousands of hours of muscle memory

confidence is 100% effort and not being a bitch

one requires mechanical skill, the other doesnt

I just hate everybody more than I hate myself. It does wonders, I tell you what.

For working out and you can't go to a gym http://www.reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/faq
If you are broke, get a job if you can. Even if you spend your day studying surely you can find work in a bar at night or something. Being broke sucks. Buy some clothes that look good on you.

If you can save up go backpacking. The time away, the places one see, the situations one faces and the friends made in foreign countries seems to change people for the better. If you can't save much go couch surfing or spend time in developing countries teaching english.

Study for a better future, progress as a person. Find a hobby that you are passionate about and be proud of it (even if it's just tf2 I guess). Read the news, try to care about what goes on in the world. If you have social anxiety work at small talk with people, they probably don't over analyse conversations like you may. If you're a gamer virgin don't stress about it so much, one day someone will inexplicably fall for you. If you work to become a person that you yourself can respect you will feel more confident, others will sense this confidence too.

Do what Arx said, it's all about the small steps in life. One day you will stop, look around and notice all the changes you have made and realise that persistence is the key to progression.

go get yourself a nice haircut. not even kidding. look good.

and having a real hobby gave me a lot of confidence.

become a hypebeast

DO NOT FUCKIN DO THAT.

muh latest air jordans, 59 fifty hats and gay ass bling is the confidence i need

Confidence comes from experience. The hard part is forcing yourself into that experience. Working out can help a lot, but what did it for me was my job as a cashier. I used to be really awkward in social situations due to insecurity (which in turn came from a lack of social experience). I started setting goals each day before my shift. 'Today I'm going to look every customer in the eye as I talk to them.' That's actually a pretty good one. You'd be amazed at how many people aren't capable of sustaining eye contact, and the ones that are are usually older. Experience breeds confidence.

i make eye contact with homeless people. NO ONE can do that.

Arx got it right

The key to get confident is to get out of your comfort zone at every opportunity you can, now, I am not a super confident person IRL but I have come a long way since I was a nerdy kid in High School.

Every time you end up questioning yourself if you should do something or not simply because you have no courage or are afraid what other people might think you go fucking do it, you get out of your comfort zone and you do that fuckin shit. Like everything in life you get better at it by practising, in this case, practise getting out of your comfort zone.

Also, you have no idea how little strangers/outside people think about you. Even if someone falls on the ground in the middle of the street, they will probably look at you and laugh or try to help, and literally 10 mins later that thought will be out of their minds forever. People genuinely don't care about strangers, any stranger passing by you on the street is a mere second appearance in their lives, if you make a fool of yourself in a public situation with strangers the next day or week no one will remember. If thats not motivation to do whatever the fuck you want without having fear then I dont know what is.

And to the guy that said he was poor and couldn't afford a gym membership, that's pure bullshit, because you can get fit just by having some shoes and literally stepping outside and doing something. if you have no equipment or chance of buying try to search calisthenics on the internet, its like the kind of exercise inmates do, all body exercised without using equipment. Also I literally spent 20€(25-30$) earlier this summer in some weights and I have been training at home (in my room mind you which is quite small) for 3 months, Only using weights, calisthenics and running around this area for cardio. I have put a lot of muscle so far and I am just getting started.

Also just to give you an example of practise, last year I got a job that would be in the costumer service area, it required me to phone every client in advance and arrange a time to go to their house, the first 2-3 weeks I was terrified in the sense I was very shy and a bit awkward, but because I was forced to do it and get out of my confort zone by the same time this year I do that stuff like its nothing and I go to the clients home and even strike up a conversation about other random stuff, 1 year ago this would have been really rare for me.

As for girls its pretty much the same thing, just going over to them and doing it, if they say no, fuck it, like the next day they won't remember. You might remember and feel a little embarassed, but you go do it again, until you dont give a fuck about what they think. That "nice guys finish last" thing is kinda bullshit and for a long time I hold onto that as an excuse, but the truth is, girls/women like guys with confidence, ballsy, that have no fear to strike up a conversation. And generally the "nice" guys are not confident, that's the problem.

But yeah, a big part of being confident means you are comfortable in your own skin, being fit really helps here because you have no insecurities about your own body, and the only thing missing is getting comfortable in your own mind, thats a whole another level. But you can be comfortable in your own body even if you're not fit, but generally it helps.

Now have some links. Some have helped me, some have not, but might help you.
Calisthenics
reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck/ - this subreddit helps a bit getting in the mindset I talked about
How I Got Over Social Anxiety - now I never had this kind of problem, I was shy but never to this kind of degree, but it helps in all cases as the solution is pretty much the same and the guy is very straightforward about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCUn3jSEBLU

this is a good video

pretending to be confident made me confident, so while that obviously has som flaws it helped me a lot

It's true studys back this up as well.

dont give a shit what people think about u :D

I refuse to speak in public without my pyrex shorts