Most of my dumb stories come from field trips

Last year: 1 week field trip to Prague, visited the biggest nightclub in Europe. Tour guide advises us to not touch absinthe, so ofcourse 50% of our year orders absinthe as soon as we get there. Long story short it ended with some girls giving blowjobs to random Italians in the toilets within 15 minutes of arriving and throwing up on our French teacher

2 years before: 3 days field trip to Vichy, France. Our "hotel" was actually an ex bordello, cracks being covered with posters of Francois Hollande's election campaign. 5 guys got caught with weed after 1 of them exited his room shouting 'shit dude you can still smell it', even though 3 teachers were passing the hall at that exact moment. Last day of that trip we stopped in Ieper for The Last Post. Someone let out a huge fart during the 2 minutes silence, British people got mad at him saying he's a disgrace to his country. My highschool is now banned from that place.

shit's there were so many dumb moments like these I just need to remember them accurately

heh, that too, but instead of tf2 we spent the whole time playing FIFA, PES and table football like the football(soccer) addicted people we are

Damn, that's a lot of people, it's rare to find highschools in Portugal with so many people, mine had around 500-600 and it was already one of the biggest in the area.

Also everytime I hear these teacher stories I just remember one of my best friends just graduated (he's 21) and he's already a phys ed teacher and teaches 12th graders (17-18 y old), I could imagine shit like that happen easily, he says all the kids love him (because they can relate to him as someone young) and a big part of the girls try to hit on him. I would imagine that would really test your limits.

watched one of my friends finger a cat

one of our weights teachers molested 3 boys and did some time
also an english teacher accidentally showed some weird fetish porn on the projector without knowing it and kept his job

Convincing my Computer Science teacher to let us play Unreal tournament in class. I remember he drew Pseudo code and flow charts on the board talking about gamestates and stuff, and he just said "Glance over at it every now and then, and if the principal comes by, tell him its research" Then we all got donged on by one guy.

Same class but when we had subs we'd just play brood war

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im still a freshman in my high school but there was a time that may or may not have been recent where me and some other people roasted this kid who goes by the name turkey so hard he left the lunchroom right after and didnt say anything to all of us for a week

one of the main things i remember from my middle school though was walking up one of the staircases in our school that anyone barely uses and seeing that one of the girls in my class was sucking some dude's dick and word spread thruout the school and she didnt come back for the rest of the school year. still have her friended on facebook tho :^)

roasted figuratively or literally?

this isnt a retarded question since he goes by the name turkey

figuratively

his head honestly looks like a burnt grape to me dude

good i got worried u never know

its fine i understand runescape boy, we are all tiny specs in the universe compared to the great gnome child

this one time for career day my friend came in with nothing but shorts and a surfboard claiming to be a surfer
he had to change after like 5th period

this happened at my strict catholic high school

he was expelled the next year

Weirdest thing happened, I walked in to my Art Teacher's classroom and she was fingering herself while listening to a playlist titled "Funny Times" The song that currently playing was Trouble by Taylor Swift. When the teacher noticed me I she stared and then started singing to the song

walked into the lavatory to find two boys masturbating in the same stall
they said their dicks never touched

I walked into the bathroom once to see a friend of mine standing an inch outside the stall of a guy loudly masturbating, waiting for the dude to finish and open the door and see him smiling there.

Same friend stole a phone once and found it full of family guy porn.

What's the point of it then?

My school's Japanese teacher got arrested for child pornography. Apparently he was taking pics of kids in the boys bathroom.

Man you guys have some awesome stories.

Most of my memories have to do with music, and all the events revolving around that. Joining the Baroque Ensemble and being invited to national music conventions to give clinics, making all-state orchestra and taking a road trip to go perform on a covered ice rink because our orchestra was so huge. As we finished the zambonis Came out to do their ice thing.

Each trip was an extended trip and I remember practicing and hanging out in our hotel rooms With fellow members. My sophomore year I remember coming out of the shower to find my hotel room mates who were both seniors watching porn on the room's tv, and I remember being really embarrased and they just laughed. Then our room got billed for the porn and they got chewed out for an hour by a livid Director. I was just about the most sheltered nerd you could imagine and high school really taught me a lot of unintended things.

Now I'm in my senior year and I can only imagine life after high school is gonna be even more unexpected.

EDIT: I POSTED IN THE WRONG THREAD

there was this one kid that buttchugged peroxide and got hospitalized. he missed school for two weeks and had to wear a diaper in the process.

some special ed kid took a shit in the library and the library was closed the next day

In freshman year P.E., there was this guy who shit on the floor in the bathroom to be funny. He recorded a video of him taking the shit on the ground with his phone, showed it to like everyone within the class period.

He got expelled. Then, all the really rowdy guys made a petition of sympathy for him and signed their name on it and sent it to the principle's office. Then, everyone who signed the paper got detention.

So much stupid stuff happened in P.E. that year it was crazy, jesus christ. I remembered this incident specifically because of Alfa's post.

some kid got locked in the school hall for 6 hours.

one of my friends lost his socks on a 3 hour excursion ( field trip for u americans )
crazy times.

another one of my friends was able to phish school accounts and ended up coding multiple programs to hack n crack into peoples accounts. ended up scoring everyones accounts using a fake "school login" popup when windows booted. Scored multiple admin / staff accounts too. never got caught.

using the same "startup / bootup" method he made the mosquito sound play at max volume in the library (all the librarians were very old, they had no idea what was going on.) this resulted in one of the female media teachers blaming this on my asian friend. he got his account suspended even tho it wasnt him and she had no proof.

witnessed a kid punch a hole in the wall when I was in the school office.

in grade / year 8 a kid brought a machete to school. got expelled.

in year 9 one of my friends taped my african friend to a pole and one of the year level coordinators thought he was racist.

one of my friends flicked the back end of a mouse and it hit the "phishing" friend in the forehead and gave him a cut. he went home and we thought he died because we didnt see him for 4 days in a row.

phishing friend kept trying to convince this kid in the "cooking" class that his wallet was in the back of the oven and that he was the only person to be able to crawl in there and get it. as he was the smallest in the class.

there was this kid in my I.T class who had a brainsnap at a kid next to him and pulled like 5 of the computers (they were all in a line) whilst trying to turn off the kids pc next to him and ended up pulling all of those out. once they all fell off the desk he tried making a break for the door and stood there unable to open the door and just kept pulling instead of twisting the doorknob.

also one year a group of year 12s (final year) on one of the last days. put a cow in one of the upstair areas of the school.

the school had to get a crane to get the cow down to safety.

in our final year of highschool half of the school captain / leadership team went to leadership camp (team exercises / bonding ) and half of the guys got drunk. they were found out and were kicked from their positions. we had like 4 captains remaining at the end of the year

in our first year of high school in our PE class we were all getting dressed into our sport uniforms and this one kid looked at my asian friend and claimed he was wearing a "g string". this was the first week of high school and he had earned himself the nickname "G banger" but he claims he was just wearing tight underpants.

the same asian friend threw a chair in the library at another kid who was making fun of him.
he got removed from the accelerated learning class for having a "poor attitude"

My school had a church as part of it, and that included a graveyard that backed onto a small road between the old and new parts of the school. One lunchtime a random adult couple apparently decided this would be a desirable spot to have some fuck, and were discovered by a bunch of surprised young 'uns and a very angry teacher.

Also one of my friends got knocked down by a milk float. He claims he never heard it coming.

[I'm actually Australian]
I went on camp once in year 9.
A group of natives (cheeky abbos) broke into our place at night and shat on the living room floor.They stole our nutalla, cereal and and tampered with our VCR.
Some kid from my school stood in the cheeky abbo shit. He then threw up on the floor walked around for a bit leaving a shitvomit trail around the stairs and shower. He never owned up to it but it was on his shoes.

There used to be a group of gaylords at my school.They enjoyed saying shit like "Fuck the system" and "Play killing in the name of again!".One day they broke into the library to hardcore dance in front of year 7's playing that shitty fuck the police song on their phones.

Callum smoked weed out of an apple on the oval once.

My asian friend got shown weed for the first time in business class, another student made him smell it. He tried covering his nose and said "put that shit away, I don't want to get high" He thought he had a contact high for the rest of the day.

I was six months into high school and our principal had a heart attack, survived but had to retire. The vice principal at the time was pretty much an Australian Dolores Umbridge, she had the voice and everything. It took her a while to be confirmed as the new principal but once that had happened and she started feeling more comfortable she began to crack down on uniform and tardiness and all that sort of inconsequential shit.

It got to the point where they were stopping classes, year 11 and 12 classes included, with announcements over the PA system telling the teachers to check the colour of our socks. They also put 'wanted' posters up around the school with pictures of kids committing such heinous crimes as wearing a hoodie or wearing black socks (they were meant to be navy blue). This was a public school mind you, with students as young as 11.

The worst of it though was having to listen to this lady rant squeakily every week about how great the school was at teaching because of our good results in external tests and exams. The school was selective...

Myself and a friend set a toilet on fire once. The firefighters were somehow there in minutes with all of their heavy duty gear, and half the building had to be evacuated. From that day forward you had to sign in and out whenever you needed to go.

The same friend and I also wrapped up some dry grass in plastic wrap and sold it to the juniors saying it was weed. We used the money to pig out at the cafeteria every other day that week.

a kid was snorting coke off a toilet seat

One thing that I'll always remember in my school was the fights people had, man they were fucking awesome. But you always feel proper bad afterwards because you kinda just stand there and watch, the best thing being though was they fights were with girls, but they always went fucking at it, full blown.

With my school it had like a big mixed bag of people with different backgrounds, you had middle/upper class people, chavs and gypsies, the gypsy girls always started the fights. I remember one where this gypsy girl was following another girl giving her abuse, then the other girl turned around to start some shit but she immediately regretted it and I guess never realised how dirty gypsies are. The gypsy immediately took this massive gold chain she had around her neck, wrapped it around her knuckles and started fucking pounding in to this other girl, it was fucking mental.

And my school got set on fire like twice, the first time was the best because I had two weeks off school, the second time was alright as well because it was only the art department and I just said all my homework perished in the blaze R.I.P.

People took knives and baseball/cricket bats to school plenty where I went but not much bad shit really went down though, it was all just standoffs and the occasional fist fight between about 15 people. The one main time I remember was when one guy in my class just took a knife out in class and started showing his friends (pretty sure he said that if some guy fucked with him he was getting stabbed, not 100% though), the guy was properly mental but always looked out/was nice to me and friends which was nice.

I did hear a kid got stabbed outside the school about a fortnight ago though, so there's that. That's Glasgow I suppose.