i saw the thread for venting your anger but i thought there might be better use for a thread where, a user can post something they want to get off their chest or open up about, not necessarily relating to anger, but any feeling at all. please use this thread as a platform for speaking your mind, but do so in a non-threatening way. im doing this because A) i think most of the people here could benefit from a form of "open therapy" if you will and B) im taking bets on how long itll be until somebody who cannot contain themselves bursts in and slings some rude words. that being said please refrain from playing devils advocate and starting some shit for no reason in this thread, you will be -'d plenty and will only succeed in embarrassing yourself in front of your peers. by all means, do try and offer some good advice to your fellow tftv posters.
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i guess i will start by repenting on my previous actions in this community, and bringing myself to light. ive played tf2 since the beginning of 2009 and found out about competitive in 2010. i was 14 when i got into it and im 22 now. i remember playing leagues such as TWL and saw the first ever seasons of TF2 in CEVO and UGC. during my entire competitive career i have amounted to literally shit. whether it be a team i tried to throw together with friends or teams ive joined, ive kind of always stayed around a low/mid level at best. given how long i have played the game, how low my skill level is, and my fabulous zero achievements anywhere competitive, i would argue that i am actually the worst player competitive TF2 has seen, and im not saying that so someone will come along and go "youre not that bad!" no no... its a joke that i played this game for as long as i did. some of you might remember me briefly playing in IM with WuTang Club, however i managed that spot was by pure luck, because they desperately needed a player and for one reason or another i took that spot. i genuinely wanted to give it my all, its just that i was not good enough and not prepared. i left on the worst of terms with them making myself a fool in the process, and i dont have any qualms about people hating my guts right now, but i sincerely wish to alleviate any of those hard feelings however i can. the truth is, through the entirety of me playing this game i have witnessed so much negativity between players in this community. its prevalent in any gaming community but this is the one ive associated with for the longest and it kind of bothers me that people would cut others down when in reality, the forums are here for people to learn about the game and get better. the discussion part is just for fun. so why would you turn on your peers and be a toxic asshole? well, i should know, because i was one for the most part. ive been banned from a few of the websites this community has hosted itself on, including this one, simply because i am a lowbrow troll looking to make myself relevant since my skill (or lack of it) would never get me noticed. ive undergone a lot of change in the past few months and its making me sick to look back on who ive been, despite resenting people like ive described. i guess there is some lesson to be learned about becoming what you hate. why am i bringing this up, well, maybe someone out there on this forum was curious about my background, ive always been kind of shady in the sense that i have never stuck with a single alias since i installed steam way back when. i like to think of myself as some faceless drifter that collects garbage everywhere i go and tries to make friends, usually doing the opposite. the other reason is because i havent really had much interest in this game since the stint with IM a few seasons ago (also whoever paid for my league fees if you want your money back i will return it) and im thinking of calling it quits on video games for good. i still look at this forum sometimes because im a lonely individual trying to cling to a place ive never belonged anyway, and i think thats sad, so im going to give it a rest. im not trying to make this thread about me, if you have anything to take up with me please PM it or contact me on steam, and sorry for the essay but i guess this thread is meant for people to write lots, right?
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okay tftv, your turn.