for starters this is not a low effort shit post if anything this is a high effort shitpost. I put more thought into this post than your dad did before knocking your mom up and leaving. so here we go
soon my son will be six and lately I have noticed he has been more of an asset rather than a liability. i don't like to use the term "pain in the ass" but let's be honest, kids are a pain until one day they wake up and decide to stop being little cunts and next thing you know they are graduating college and you have a whiskey problem. moving on
he likes video games and seems interested whenever i find the time to sit at my desk so I am wondering if this is a good time to teach him how to play everyone's loved/hated game, Team Fortress 2. obviously I will be moderating him as much as possible and turning off his ability to hear and use microphones. I don't want him to be "that kid" and additionally, I prefer to be the only one corrupting my child, not you fucks. Is there any one map/server that is easier to play on or should I just have him join a random server? I assume pyro is the easiest class for him to play?
Please Respond .
for starters this is not a low effort shit post if anything this is a high effort shitpost. I put more thought into this post than your dad did before knocking your mom up and leaving. so here we go
soon my son will be six and lately I have noticed he has been more of an asset rather than a liability. i don't like to use the term "pain in the ass" but let's be honest, kids are a pain until one day they wake up and decide to stop being little cunts and next thing you know they are graduating college and you have a whiskey problem. moving on
he likes video games and seems interested whenever i find the time to sit at my desk so I am wondering if this is a good time to teach him how to play everyone's loved/hated game, Team Fortress 2. obviously I will be moderating him as much as possible and turning off his ability to hear and use microphones. I don't want him to be "that kid" and additionally, I prefer to be the only one corrupting my child, not you fucks. Is there any one map/server that is easier to play on or should I just have him join a random server? I assume pyro is the easiest class for him to play?
Please Respond .
give him good fov/interp and remove viewmodels
give him good fov/interp [s]and remove viewmodels[/s]
have him start with soldier it has a low skill floor but isn't aids like engineer or pyro
start him on payload maps or something
dont let him use gay unlocks
have him start with soldier it has a low skill floor but isn't aids like engineer or pyro
start him on payload maps or something
dont let him use gay unlocks
2fort and turbine 24/7 servers are key to novice tf2 players
2fort and turbine 24/7 servers are key to novice tf2 players
When I was teaching my dad to play I put him on Soldier, Pyro amd Medic on 2Fort. Granted hes had some fps experience a couple years old but those classes are pretty easy even for newer players amd wFort is pretty straight forward
When I was teaching my dad to play I put him on Soldier, Pyro amd Medic on 2Fort. Granted hes had some fps experience a couple years old but those classes are pretty easy even for newer players amd wFort is pretty straight forward
just get connor to teach him how to be a friendly pootis heavy with sandvich ^_^
just get connor to teach him how to be a friendly pootis heavy with sandvich ^_^
If you want to take it farther, i've seen people like star_ use a hud that hides people's names
you can also make everyone's picture the default steam one but i dont know how u do that
If you want to take it farther, i've seen people like star_ use a hud that hides people's names
you can also make everyone's picture the default steam one but i dont know how u do that
Turning off the mic feature is a first and most important thing I would do, also hide chat probably (hud_saytext_time 0), some inappropriate stuff to a 6 year old can pop up on there too...
N3vogive him good fov/interp
Also this, yes
Maybe disabling "gore" and blood?
-sillygibs
in TF2 launch options or equipping Pyrovision goggles
Hope this somehow helps
Turning off the mic feature is a first and most important thing I would do, also hide chat probably (hud_saytext_time 0), some inappropriate stuff to a 6 year old can pop up on there too...
[quote=N3vo]give him good fov/interp[/quote]
Also this, yes
Maybe disabling "gore" and blood?
[quote]-sillygibs[/quote] in TF2 launch options or equipping Pyrovision goggles
Hope this somehow helps
you should teach him to play overwatch, because imagine if he walked into school one day and asked everyone "does anyone here play team fortress 2" and no one knew what that is compared to overwatch which everyone knows what that is
Show Content
/s
you should teach him to play overwatch, because imagine if he walked into school one day and asked everyone "does anyone here play team fortress 2" and no one knew what that is compared to overwatch which everyone knows what that is
[spoiler]/s [/spoiler]
Just let him play casual until hes ready to be trained in the dark arts of mge and dm soap. By the time hes 12 he should be better then b4nny, and by the time hes 16... god help us all...
Just let him play casual until hes ready to be trained in the dark arts of mge and dm soap. By the time hes 12 he should be better then b4nny, and by the time hes 16... god help us all...
mr. wrench spawn will be the true savior of tf2
mr. wrench spawn will be the true savior of tf2
make sure that u blacklist all community servers, last thing u want is ur child playing on and being exposed to pony servers
make sure that u blacklist all community servers, last thing u want is ur child playing on and being exposed to pony servers
I'd recommend soldier, class has a lot of depth and one of the easier classes to do ok as as a new player.
Maps
Goldrush - Various stages so less monotony, relatively easy to find servers. Great starter payload.
Dustbowl - Various stages, clear defined Capture points. Really easy to find servers.
Once getting past those Maps
2Fort - Has water (and all the various dumb things that go on with that) and the middle area is great for learning rocket jumps, sniper is very linear and the basics can be learned quickly. Extremely easy to find servers for.(I wouldn't spend to much time on this map cause objective based gameplay will be nigh pointless on most servers)
Badwater - Definitely the best static map for learning to play with a team and doing the objective. Not terribly long, all classes are meaningful in a pub environment in various areas of the map. Easy to find servers for, etc.
After that they should be ready for damn near any map.
Not sure how you feel about violence, but you can use silly gibs and pyrovision works on all the above maps.
I'd recommend soldier, class has a lot of depth and one of the easier classes to do ok as as a new player.
Maps
Goldrush - Various stages so less monotony, relatively easy to find servers. Great starter payload.
Dustbowl - Various stages, clear defined Capture points. Really easy to find servers.
Once getting past those Maps
2Fort - Has water (and all the various dumb things that go on with that) and the middle area is great for learning rocket jumps, sniper is very linear and the basics can be learned quickly. Extremely easy to find servers for.(I wouldn't spend to much time on this map cause objective based gameplay will be nigh pointless on most servers)
Badwater - Definitely the best static map for learning to play with a team and doing the objective. Not terribly long, all classes are meaningful in a pub environment in various areas of the map. Easy to find servers for, etc.
After that they should be ready for damn near any map.
Not sure how you feel about violence, but you can use silly gibs and pyrovision works on all the above maps.
put him on spire mge, no mercy
put him on spire mge, no mercy
let him play what he wants and let him figure what class he wants to play also, one of the best parts of learning video games is discovering everything yourself.
Give him not aids settings, turn off mic and voice and then if he asks for help give it to him, otherwise let him explore
let him play what he wants and let him figure what class he wants to play also, one of the best parts of learning video games is discovering everything yourself.
Give him not aids settings, turn off mic and voice and then if he asks for help give it to him, otherwise let him explore
Bring him onto an empty server, show him each class and what each weapon does. He'll likely automatically be like "oh wow this one is fun!" or be drawn to a character - he can start there. Soldier and pyro are both good starting classes - I remember being super confused by demo (things rush me and I can't kill them WHAT DO I DO) and spy at the beginning.
Payload is probably the easiest - follow the tracks for both offense and defense. At that age, definitely disable all chat and I agree with a previous statement about reducing the amount of blood/gibs/etc.
For now, he can just hop around. He'll probably start asking questions about what you do, what you play, and want to mirror you being that you're his dad - and then you can start showing him how to PG Mr. Wrech :)
Bring him onto an empty server, show him each class and what each weapon does. He'll likely automatically be like "oh wow this one is fun!" or be drawn to a character - he can start there. Soldier and pyro are both good starting classes - I remember being super confused by demo (things rush me and I can't kill them WHAT DO I DO) and spy at the beginning.
Payload is probably the easiest - follow the tracks for both offense and defense. At that age, definitely disable all chat and I agree with a previous statement about reducing the amount of blood/gibs/etc.
For now, he can just hop around. He'll probably start asking questions about what you do, what you play, and want to mirror you being that you're his dad - and then you can start showing him how to PG Mr. Wrech :)
Bring him to TF2Center with all the other 6 year olds
Bring him to TF2Center with all the other 6 year olds
2 kids I babysit (3 and 5 years old) like playing TF2 on my laptop.
For now I just let them play on training maps but I'll unleash them to the world very soon.
(tyler_rocket_shooting for letting them figure out basic stuff, tr_newbots or tr_arena_rc2 once they feel like shooting something that shoots back and moves)
Soldier is probably the best for learning how to aim. Pyro for learning movement
(might seem like a bad idea to make them play Pyro but I've noticed all other classes just make them stand still while they aim at things. Pyro forces them to move around while they aim. it's also the easiest class in the game to figure out. And they'll learn wm1 isn't always the answer once they start running into heavies and sentr nests)
Haven't let them play on online maps but I'd probably go with instant respawn servers on hightower, 2fort, mariokart, etc. You want them to move away from those maps eventually ofcourse but when they just start out that'll be easiest for them to get into
2 kids I babysit (3 and 5 years old) like playing TF2 on my laptop.
For now I just let them play on training maps but I'll unleash them to the world very soon.
(tyler_rocket_shooting for letting them figure out basic stuff, tr_newbots or tr_arena_rc2 once they feel like shooting something that shoots back and moves)
Soldier is probably the best for learning how to aim. Pyro for learning movement
(might seem like a bad idea to make them play Pyro but I've noticed all other classes just make them stand still while they aim at things. Pyro forces them to move around while they aim. it's also the easiest class in the game to figure out. And they'll learn wm1 isn't always the answer once they start running into heavies and sentr nests)
Haven't let them play on online maps but I'd probably go with instant respawn servers on hightower, 2fort, mariokart, etc. You want them to move away from those maps eventually ofcourse but when they just start out that'll be easiest for them to get into
He's nickname on steam should be b3nny
He's nickname on steam should be b3nny
janedoeput him on spire mge, no mercy
maroon him there and tell him not to get off until he's 20-0'd somebody
[quote=janedoe]put him on spire mge, no mercy[/quote]
maroon him there and tell him not to get off until he's 20-0'd somebody
condition him into the world's youngest mge lord
condition him into the world's youngest mge lord
something that hasn't been emphasized enough. instant respawn. until you're good enough not to die every thirty seconds, instant respawn is necessary.
something that hasn't been emphasized enough. instant respawn. until you're good enough not to die every thirty seconds, instant respawn is necessary.
I started my kiddo at 4 - I set him up on a 24/7 goldrush server, spawned him in as heavy. The gates opened, and he got random kritz and mowed down 3 people before being headshot, and he just sat there trembling with elation and has been hooked ever since.
I did modify his game to not show chat and no voice comms either from or to him. He also discovered MGE about 4 years ago. Now that he's older, he plays TF2 less, but he still plays prolly 2-3 times a week. He also went through a mario kart balloon-race phase. There are so many different ways to play tf2 and enjoy it it's not a bad game to get into honestly.
I started my kiddo at 4 - I set him up on a 24/7 goldrush server, spawned him in as heavy. The gates opened, and he got random kritz and mowed down 3 people before being headshot, and he just sat there trembling with elation and has been hooked ever since.
I did modify his game to not show chat and no voice comms either from or to him. He also discovered MGE about 4 years ago. Now that he's older, he plays TF2 less, but he still plays prolly 2-3 times a week. He also went through a mario kart balloon-race phase. There are so many different ways to play tf2 and enjoy it it's not a bad game to get into honestly.
MarxistI started my kiddo at 4 - I set him up on a 24/7 goldrush server, spawned him in as heavy. The gates opened, and he got random kritz and mowed down 3 people before being headshot, and he just sat there trembling with elation and has been hooked ever since.
I did modify his game to not show chat and no voice comms either from or to him. He also discovered MGE about 4 years ago. Now that he's older, he plays TF2 less, but he still plays prolly 2-3 times a week. He also went through a mario kart balloon-race phase. There are so many different ways to play tf2 and enjoy it it's not a bad game to get into honestly.
So your son has been mgeing for the past 4 years?
[quote=Marxist]I started my kiddo at 4 - I set him up on a 24/7 goldrush server, spawned him in as heavy. The gates opened, and he got random kritz and mowed down 3 people before being headshot, and he just sat there trembling with elation and has been hooked ever since.
I did modify his game to not show chat and no voice comms either from or to him. He also discovered MGE about 4 years ago. Now that he's older, he plays TF2 less, but he still plays prolly 2-3 times a week. He also went through a mario kart balloon-race phase. There are so many different ways to play tf2 and enjoy it it's not a bad game to get into honestly.[/quote]
So your son has been mgeing for the past 4 years?
Train your son to become the perfect counter to b4nny
Train your son to become the perfect counter to b4nny
MarxistI started my kiddo at 4 - I set him up on a 24/7 goldrush server, spawned him in as heavy. The gates opened, and he got random kritz and mowed down 3 people before being headshot, and he just sat there trembling with elation and has been hooked ever since.
I did modify his game to not show chat and no voice comms either from or to him. He also discovered MGE about 4 years ago. Now that he's older, he plays TF2 less, but he still plays prolly 2-3 times a week. He also went through a mario kart balloon-race phase. There are so many different ways to play tf2 and enjoy it it's not a bad game to get into honestly.
Is his alias Leninist?
[quote=Marxist]I started my kiddo at 4 - I set him up on a 24/7 goldrush server, spawned him in as heavy. The gates opened, and he got random kritz and mowed down 3 people before being headshot, and he just sat there trembling with elation and has been hooked ever since.
I did modify his game to not show chat and no voice comms either from or to him. He also discovered MGE about 4 years ago. Now that he's older, he plays TF2 less, but he still plays prolly 2-3 times a week. He also went through a mario kart balloon-race phase. There are so many different ways to play tf2 and enjoy it it's not a bad game to get into honestly.[/quote]
Is his alias Leninist?
no matter what you do, please don't let him main spy, sniper or pyro
no matter what you do, please don't let him main spy, sniper or pyro