I grew up in BC around the Rockies so I did a lot of skiing when I was younger (like 120+ days of the year on snow). This also led to more then a couple of stupid things being done. Mainly throwing myself off of 30' - 45' cliffs or going out of bounds to high risk avalanche areas. Needless to say my lower back and knees are right fucked at the age of 22.

Last year I was sweeping my garage with a metal broom when it snapped and I sliced through part of the skin on my left thumb in two places. Had to get stitches (like... 6-7?)

This year (literally 363 days later) tore off my fingernail and broke my right pinky when I crashed (the second time in a month) my motorcycle on the track during a warm up lap.

i played on crit servers for 1 and a half year

I lived in a dingy town in ontario that was nothing but hills, mixed in with me buying a used bike which had no brakes, which was not only useless most of the time (I was always horribly unhealthy with asthma, so I would end up walking the bike uphill), but when I did use it I would often crash

there were several times where I'd go down a hill full-speed in icy-road winter, assuming myself to have brakes, and then remembering otherwise just before I was about to hit traffic with my head. thank god for snow banks

i really regret doing this but i dont even know why i did it. one time in history class we were talking about famous dead people and their quotes, and to be frank i dont give a shit about what hiawatha said, so i fell asleep. i have no idea what i was dreaming or thinking about, but someone poked me and I yelled "SWAG!!" at the top of my lungs and everyone just stared at me and i just started laughing my ass off because i had no idea why i said it and people just stared even more. my teacher was very confused and stopped talking for like a minute, and that minute was silent

that was the most uncomfortable thing i've ever done

Adding another to the list.

I was peeling a stubborn banana. My hand slipped and i accidentally punched myself in the nuts.

Assume frank ocean's album is coming out july

When I was like 8 or something I tried to play on a laptop and balance a cup noodle on my lap at the same time.
It didn't go very well, I scalded my upper leg and there were bubbles under my skin and shit

ran into a brick wall and cracked my skull when I was 10

biked into several cars and broke their taillights around the same age maybe a bit older

fallen into a campfire and had to be pulled out lol

I was a pretty retarded kid now that I think about it haha

When I was 10 - 11, me and my friend were having a sleepover at his house on New Years Eve, while there were also his and mine parents. Next day, we got told to take the trash out, which included alcohol bottles and we stupidly decided to not throw the glass bottles in the trash, but to play catch with it (????). Well not literally playing catch with them, but kinda softly throwing them and catching them. Then some older teenagers from the housing estate saw us doing that and joined us. It was icey outside and what happened is, one of the older kids threw one of them at me, hit the floor and bounced right up in my right eyebrow with the bottom of the bottle. The glass (luckily enough) didn't shatter or hit my eye or anything, got few stitches right next to my eye...

Not really (that) stupid, but as soon as my friend and I talked about this for the first time in a good 5 years and laughed a fuck ton I had to retell it.

So...

In grade 2, I had two other friends who I would ALWAYS play with. We were all best of friends. We were inseparable. Then one day, this girl moves to our class and becomes friends, in a way, to all of us. Well, not really friends. She just didn't have anyone to talk to, so we would do stuff like work on projects all together in class. Everything was good and all, until myself and one of my friends realised how much of a bitch she was. I won't go into detail as it's a fairly long story, but the whole stupid story thing revolves around this one incident regarding her.

So anyway, one day at recess, myself and my friend, not the three of us, somehow got into an argument about water. Pretty much, she was claiming that water was 'bad' for you, to which we laughed and argued back. To this day I'm sure she was saying that TOO much water to the point of overhydration is bad for you, but we were in grade 2 which means that we had barely entered the operational stages; we just argued that water is good because it keeps you alive.

The argument got intense, and soon enough she got her mum to chastise my friend the next day in the morning about not treating people with kindness and respect. Nothing happened to me, for some reason.

A week later or so, my third buddy from our clique started to take a crushy-liking towards the girl. My other friend and I hated this, as it meant that he was hanging out with her instead of us. We hated her with a passion. So, at some random lunch, we went to our other friend who was talking with the girl on the bat tennis courts. She left him moments after we got there; I'm sure we told her to go away in the brattiest tone that any kid could. After she leaves furiously or some shit, my friend and I start to to talk with him. We tell him to stop hanging out with her and play with us more. He refuses and starts telling us that we're annoying, stupid and should just to go away.

He starts walking away, to which we start following. He starts to run, so we do too. We decided that we went a bit too far and that this might ruwin our relationship further, so we try to tell him while running that we were sorry for trying to control him. All he just tells us to go away, half crying, and turning his head away from us. Can't blame him.

He then starts to sprint away, and literally MILLISECONDS after he does so, the fucker runs mouth first int- no, TEETH FIRST, into a netball pole.

He falls to the ground and we stop chasing after him. He starts bawling and blood begins to pour out of his mouth. We rush to his 'aid' and tell him how sorry we were, while calling over teachers on yard duty to come and help. Shortly after, a crowd of some 50 kids formed around the poor kid.

After that incident, we shortly find out that he had to go the the hospital for a chipped tooth and split gum. Jesus Christ.

G U I L T
U
I
L
T

Eye rape a smoking hot waitress at the diner when I though my wife was not looking. Still paying for that one and its been at least a year

I was at elementary school, we were learning verbs, and everyone had to say at least 1 known verb.
It was my turn, so, as I didn't know what it meant, I shouted a synonym of "fucking" and the teacher had to call my parents and had to apologize to them in front of everyone

When I was 5 I sat on a nail because I wanted to see what it would feel like to have a nail up my asshole.

At 12, I walked into a car door while it was open, because I was half-asleep. There's still a dent in my forehead as a memento.

I once had a contest with my friend to see who could masturbate in the weirdest place without chickening out. It started out easy with just public washrooms and in pool showers but I eventually ended up doing it in a barber shop under the tarp thing they put on you.

So did you finish?

Yeah I ended up just catching it in my hand and wiping it in the inside of my pants really slowly. I'm also very sure people noticed but only at the end when I got close to finishing because it's hard to contain it ya know?

edit: Also after I finished I gasped really heavily and tried to pass it off as waking up from a bad dream.

ohh i thought you meant like he was cutting your hair while you were doing it

No he was cutting my hair but apparently I gasp hard when I finish and I closed my eyes for most of it trying to, like, get stimulated while occasionally taking a peek at some milf's fine ass in the mirror. I'm pretty sure they suspected something weird was going on but I will never know because that salon was actually in Vegas because we went there for Evo one year so I will never again see that salon.

I once played football with a piece of asphalt.

Now I have scars on my face :')

half a year ago I was in a trip to the desert areas of Israel and i had an old pair of really good sunglasses that were handed down to me, i ran up and down hills and when the trip ended I realized I just lost my sunglasses

last week I was at the beach and there were nice waves, I tried to just ride some of them with my body and it worked nicely.
half an hour later I'm walking back home without my new under-a-month-old pair of decently pricey sunglasses because a big ass wave almost drowned me.

so after losing two pairs of sunglasses to 2/3 forces of nature I'm afraid of getting new ones because my house will go up in fire or something..

I'm fairly sure that's not what they mean by "pitch"

Went on a vacation to Disney World as a youngin' (5 or 6)

One evening after spending the day there my sister and I decided to race each other in one of the rides line area, the kind that zig zags back and forth to fit more people. Being the dumbass kid I was I looked over to see if I was beating her and wound up clotheslining myself on one of the metal 'zigs.'

According to my mom it was an action style thing where my head stopped moving and my body was swung up by the momentum before I slammed back into the ground. Woke up in an ambulance 10 minutes later, mumbled something about winning, and then vomited on the EMT.

Still love me some Disney World.

x

how did it feel

skipped 'big' family dinner at grandmas to play highlander and we lost

1. Me and some friends were walking in town when we noticed a kid from our school that was a tiny bit retarded, and we asked him to come hang out with us because he looked alone and sad. We then went into an abandoned building, broke some stuff, climbed some stuff, had some fun. When it was time to leave me and one of my friends decided to get out of the bulding by climbing down /jumping from the first floor while the others just took the stairs. We were all out except the reterded guy that for some reason followed me and didn't take the stairs. We were all shouting "take the stairs you'll get hurt" but he was just standing there so me and my friends selfishly took off and completely forget about him while he was still up there. The next couple of days he didn't show up at school so we were worried that he fucked up and got hurt so we all went back to that building. At the spot were me and one of my friends jumped down, there was a big blood stain. We were scared shitless that he died, until the next day he came to school with some broken bones. Turns out he jumped down shortly after we left and broke his hand in some places, and he was just lying there until some random guy saw him and took him home.
2.I was doing stupid shit with a friend while waiting for a buss and one of the stupid shit was me climbing on a car and making a big-ass dent on the roof that i didn't even give a shit about and a month later I was waiting with the same guy at the same bus station and across the street was the same car fixed and i didn't even remember that i made that dent, anyway i climbed on the car again this time i didn't make a dent but five mins later, the owner of the car came, saw the footsteps on the car and didn't understand it was me yet she started ranting about how some kids have no respect and that it costed her a thousand euros to repair the roof the last time and she ended the rant by apologising for ranting to us because it wasn't even our fault.
3.I broke my ankle while trying to do the simplest trick ever https://youtu.be/Oq9Y3i7HD40?t=56s

d

Back in grade 11, my highschool had two different lunches. One of my lady friends asked me if I want to go to the Tim Hortons, and I debated if I should skip class or not. I ended up going, didn't regret a thing, and proceeded to get lunch with a wonderful friend. We got back to school and I had to get a late slip and explain why I was late, but instead of saying I went out of lunch and was late, I lied. I said that I was in the bathroom for the past 30 minutes with stomach pain and hinted at diarrhea. She said she would have to look at the camera recordings to confirm this story, but gave me the late slip. Went to class as normal, talked with a few people asking if she'd actually check, got worried, and ended up telling my teacher I didn't feel good so I could go to the office. I went and said I was feeling sick (to get them to buy the initial story) and wasted that entire class sitting in a room doing nothing. Never got caught, and don't regret a thing.

Also chasing after those highschool loves.