With my semester finally winding down, I’m able to sit down and write this out. You may have seen my short youtube clip talking about this already, but I wanted to address you guys directly. If you don’t care about me “quitting” or whatever, please feel free to ignore this post. This is in no way an attempt to shitpost, as this kind of thread often is. TF2 was (and still is) really important to me, and I feel like it would be wrong to leave with no word of goodbye.

I’ve been playing TF2 for well over five years now. I’ve been playing competitively for the last four years. I’ve changed drastically as a person since I started, and I feel as though a large part of this (very positive change) has been a direct result from my being a part of this fantastic community.

When I started playing TF2, it was largely because I couldn’t really do all that much else. I was really sick throughout high school, so I was unable to really devote myself to much in the “real” world. TF2 was my first FPS, and I’ll never forget my first game.

I managed to join an empty server running (what I later learned to be called) upward. I joined BLU (because it was the first option), and waited in the setup time. I wasn’t sure what was setting up. Once the gates opened, I walked around outside for a bit until I realized that I could push the cart (though I will admit that I thought I had to stand behind it and hold down W). I pushed it all the way through the map, thinking that this was a really weird game.

I quit that server after exploding in the endgame fire, and joined a 24/7 dustbowl server. It was the only map I would play for my first few hundred hours. I picked up soldier as my main in that time. I’m not sure why. Probably because it was the first one that I clicked.

A friend (Colin “SonOfADot”) from another online community I was a part of played TF2 as well, and about a year after I started playing, he mentioned that there was competitive Team Fortress. I’ve always been a really competitive person, so I was interested. We created a team, and played some games on terribly configured servers. We didn’t scrim. We practiced rollouts. We were terrible. [url=http://logs.tf/5939#76561198027325929]This[/url] is the first (manually uploaded) log from a competitive game that I played in. I’m fairly certain Tyler was ringing and helping out, but I can’t remember for sure.

After a few miserably mediocre seasons of UGC, I found my way into the beginnings of a low-open circlejerk. We played in the revital season of CEVO, and I got cut after failing to show up because the mumble environment drove me so crazy. Still though, I knew the game was worth playing. I had never won anything notable, but I had always had fun.


I then made the jump into ESEA. “Bait for Jesus” was a chance for me to rapidly improve. It was at that point that I started using my brain when I played. Playing roamer on a team with two much better roamer mains (Tino and Kanon) gave me a lot of insight into the role. We didn’t do great, but we didn’t suck too bad either.


I then got a chance to form an absolute dream team with some really fun members of the community. Me, Dashner, Auzzie, Whiskerbuscuit, dippidy, and idrae. This would be the first season where I played pocket. I never went back, because it was so much easier to find a team on pocket than roamer.


The team never really meshed, and I got cut by a team I had largely helped put together. I was super upset, even though it was probably deserved. This turned from a low to a high point very quickly, though. It was after I was cut that “Five Nights with Freddie” (pie_hero and company) were in need of a pocket.


I hopped on the opportunity and we ended up doing pretty decently. We pulled off (what was in my mind) a pretty big upset in the first round of the post-season. The only reason we did well is because of everyone’s dedication and hard work for scrims leading up to it, and it was this experience that showed me that I could really succeed if I put effort into the game. We would play some of the next season together before going separate ways.


I joined a team with flatline after that, and he has been on my team every season since. We weren’t very good at all, as we were formed last second. We had fun, though. And I got to play with one of my favorite people from UGC, Logy, again.


The next season, we put together another last minute team (“Saving Private IM”). Again, I had fun. This was the first time I met my by smitty. Again, we were bad.


This past season, we had a fat stack. Me, flatline, and smitty, now with hooli, the_saviour, and ScrewB. We were probably the best team I had played on. We were definitely the best team when it came to constructive criticism and consistent improvement.


All the while, I was getting involved behind the scenes. Helping out everywhere I could. I’m convinced that I’ve spent more time out of the game organizing stuff than in it. I don’t want to list everything I’ve done, but I will touch on some high points.


TF2Can showed us just how awesome the TF2 community can be. I will never forget the great people that put so much time and effort into making that weekend absolutely incredible.


Newbie Mixes had blossomed over the years where I was acting as a head admin. Alosec took a big gamble on me being an admin, as I was really only midish open at the time.


RealTourney was neat, and we were able to get some substantial money for prizepots.


The TF2Stadium staff have become like a second family to me. I won’t soon forget the hard work, long hours, sleepless nights, ridiculous hypothetical scenarios playing out in meetings, and countless snake memes shared among these great friends. Play on Stadium. It’s great.


As far as other stuff has gone, I’ve gotten causally involved in the TF2 Youtube scene, and I feel great pride knowing that some of the biggest creators of TF2 content came to me as a person they trusted to answer competitive-related questions for their videos.


I’m not going to mention everything here, because that would reach the character limit for an entire page worth of posts.

I’ll wrap up this final nerd essay with a moment that I will hold dear forever. A random person, whose name I never got, casually walked up to me at GXL 2015, shook my hand and said, “Thank you so much for what you do. I really appreciate it.” I nervously mentioned how he should be thanking the other volunteers at the event. Many of them were far more talented than myself. That said, it was this moment that reinforced that the TF2 players I care so much about really are just other people. And thinking back on this moment makes me realize just how much I love you guys.


TF2 and--more importantly--its awesome community have given me some of my closest friends. They’ve taught me so many life skills. And really, the whole experience has just been a ton of fun. I hope it will continue to do all of these things (and more) for all of you.


I’ll still be around for big events and helping out when folks are in a pinch, but it won’t be very often (at least for the foreseeable future, unless valve does something cool lol) Anyways, so long, and thanks for all the hats.