This. I never wanna swallow so many painkillers ever again.

I was cutting a candle with a razor blade and my hand slipped, my hand slipped and I cut off around and inch and a half of my skin off. I bled so much lmao

getting shot in the foot by a glock lol

whats the story behind this?

Realising ur family wasnt ur family at all.

My stomach was fucking exploding when i had salmonella.
It was a hell month of crying from pain, but i am alive (what a lucky guy)

When I was 5 I jumped off a climbing frame and smacked my face into the side of another part of the climbing frame. A splinter of wood went through my upper lip and almost completely severed it. I was in complete shock and only started to feel pain a few hours later when I was already in the hospital. I think I'd even taken painkillers at that point but it was still some of the most intense pain I can remember.

hit my dick on a fan

I had a strangely long (several hours) nosebleed and my dad had to shove this weirdass syringe straight up the bleeding nostril. At first I thought it would only be up a little but it felt like it was grazing my brain. Had it up there for an hour whilst trying to "sleep". Any slight movement would cause intense discomfort or pain

After that hour my dad took it out and I was like praise jaysis cuz its out
Then the nosebleed started again immediately after and up again it went for another hour...

'cause I was retard and I didn't know how to manage a nosebleed of such magnitude (the blood was just gushing out with no signs of stopping) I felt pretty cold and dizzy after the whole thing, had to check with a doctor to make sure it wasn't a blood defect. Thankfully my nostrils were just really irritated

Obviously this isn't as bad as anything anyone here has listed but I have always been a reserved child/teen without "average" problems (e.g. having to get braces or breaking my limbs) so it's not like I experience much pain anyways

Shot in the crotch by a 400+ FPS paintball from about 7' away. That shit hurt more then the bones I have broken from jumping off of cliffs while skiing. (Yes I know that paint balling with more then 375 is retarded.)

Two different times that I can vividly remember

1 - I use clear gel deodorant. After I took a shower, I was butt naked in my room when I dropped the deodorant stick, it hit the floor and one of the globs of gel shot up and went right into my left eye. There was no delay, the pain was instant and it literally dropped me to my knees. I flushed out my eye for the longest time but that feeling of intense instant pain has stuck with me.

2 - In my early 20's I used to train pretty often in different fighting arts. I'm no expert in anything but I have always been small and strong with a wrestling base so I used to throw people around without using much technique in whatever class I was taking. I was getting cocky during a Jiu-Jitsu class by denying others techniques simply because I was physically stronger. One of the higher level BJJ guys came over to spar with me instead. He was actually quite smaller than I was and taught me a serious lesson when I underestimated him. When we were locked up, he hit me in my leg, above my knee, and I honestly thought my leg split in half from the pain. Intense pain isn't even the word as I fell to the ground and the bottom half of my body was just not working correctly. It faded in a few minutes and he told me that he attacked the Femoral Nerve in my leg. He went on to show me several other pressure points on the body that can be painful and effective in fights if used correctly.

I almost chopped one of my toes off with a shovel once.

i once got on a bike to big for me. fell of the seat and crushed my balls.

Jumped into a tree with my mountain bike and broke two ribs, at the moment i just felt some pain and thought it was from the impact so i just kept cycling like normal (Guess i had some adrenaline).

Next day i woke up by MASSIVE pain in the morning and i could barely get up from the bed, every breath was like getting stabbed by knives so i called 991 and told them the situation (Took me good 10 minutes to get up and reach the phone), they advised me to get my ass to the hospital ASAP. When i arrived they x-rayed my ribs and found out both my lower ribs were broken, they told me i was lucky that the ribs didn't puncture my lung. Took me good 2 months until it was healed and another month until i felt fully recovered.

I was skateboarding down a hill by my house, stomach down on the board. My hoodie sleeve got caught in the wheel and pulled my pinkie under it, smashing my finger and removing the finger nail. Another time, I flew over my handle bars while biking to school and fucked my knee. The worst part was having my mom try to pick all the rocks and dirt out of the gashes.

reading this thread and imagining these things happening to me

When I was 14 I was competing in a regional athletics event, I was 3rd leg on a 200m/leg relay race. Since I was 3rd leg I was running a bend and needed to close the distance for our team and sprinted at my fastest and at the end of the bend I stepped wrong and completely snapped my ankle, ripping the ligaments and my spikes (running shoes) cut my ankle open on the other side by digging into the side that didn't hit the ground.
Haven't ran since.

bit in the face by a dalmation

teeth was drilled while not fully asleep. Felt cold on a single point then hurt when the tool made contact with the nerve.

Also when i got my wisdom teeth extracted the dentist used some kind of pliers and broke the teeth in my mouth, i could hear it crack and feel it teared apart from the rest of my skull, not the worst pain but a weird feeling for sure.

Else I sometimes wake up at night with a huge pain in my ass, like i had a baseball inside my rectum and the ball stretches my rectum to be expulsed. I then proceed to the toilet but nothing comes out, and the pain intensity drops like 10 mins afterwards

I broke and dislocated my elbow in the same incident because some sperg decided it would be funny to push me while i was jogging in gym class. My elbow got caught in a little crack between the panels of a retractable wall that came down in the middle of the gym. This was third grade and I was so ashamed. The nurse was a complete bitch and kept trying to make jokes and shit while I was passing out and she refused to call an ambulance so my mom had to speed down to the school.

I had a lot of back surgery when I was a kid (14-15) due to the formation of cysts over my tail bone and spine. I had just had my second surgery (which required over 100 stitches) and the doctor had me drop in on him on a Friday - where he typically did charity work in a burn ward (plastic surgeon). So he looks at me, and says "well... this isn't good. Are you prepared for surgery?" And I said uhh... sure I guess. My mom asks what he means and he says "There is a cyst forming in the sutures and I have to cut it out right now." then he utters the words I'll never forget:

"Nurse... I need a 10 blade knife, some KY jelly, and a Polaroid camera, because his insurance isn't going to believe this."

I figured out pretty well what the knife was for, the KY jelly was more worrisome.

So with no anesthetic or anything, he KY's up his fingers, makes small incisions in the suture line, and shoves his hand into them, confirming that there is indeed something in the sutures. At which point he says "ok... you're still with me yeah?" I reply that I am indeed still conscious. At which point he says "Get ready for a big pinch" lol And I hear my skin flop open (there is a lot of tension on skin so when you cut all the way through it it just gapes open). My mom starts gagging (she had to witness it, I couldn't see being as it was my back). I felt pretty blinding pain - akin to when you first twist an ankle, except it was constant from that point on lol. Then I heard the sound of a Polaroid camera going off and it was all over.

wtf that sounds like some third world healthcare shit

Was like 7 and just in a playground with friends chasing each other, then one of my friends suddenly thought it was a fun idea to Rugby grapple me so when I came down my forehead went straight onto the edge of a concrete step and cracked my skull open, lot of blood and yuckyness.

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Went camping a lot with my dad when I was younger. I think this happened when I was about 7 or 8.
At night I tripped on a wire of a tent, fell onto a tent peg, sliced my knee right open. Cut was pretty deep from what I remember. Woke up half the camping with my screaming. Took multiple weeks but it ended up healing well. I'm 21 now and the scar is starting to become less visible these days. Looks like a large cut across my entire knee cap

This sounds really stupid but you know when you get like super hiccups that kind of hurt? I got those while very sick with the flu and a bad cough. The cough hurt enough on its own but it would trigger a hiccup every time. There was basically a train of cough>>hiccup>>cough>>hiccup for hours and it was like a sledgehammer to my chest every time. I burst a ton of capillaries on my face because I was apparently wincing in pain so hard.

I've shattered my collarbone, taken a hard concussion that also caused bad back spasms for weeks, both of which immobilized me, and those weren't near as bad as the hiccups.

i had nerve damage through my entire left leg for almost 2 years, even with constant mad doses of painkillers it was insane how painful it was. just tapping the leg felt like a stab, not good.

might not hold a candle to some of this shit but ive had some REALLY bad migraines

ok you all have me beaten by miles jesus christ

literally cocaine