ZetsuZeRo5I failed a handshake so bad last week I can't get it out of my mind :(end it all, there's no coming back from that low
I also stubbed my toe yesterday, I think all hope is lost
tftv safe space (no harassment plz)
posted in
Off Topic
[quote=Zetsu][quote=ZeRo5]I failed a handshake so bad last week I can't get it out of my mind :([/quote]
end it all, there's no coming back from that low[/quote]
I also stubbed my toe yesterday, I think all hope is lost
end it all, there's no coming back from that low[/quote]
I also stubbed my toe yesterday, I think all hope is lost
gatsanif she agrees to be ur gf surely ur good enough for her :)
FuxxrzrI know its retarded, but for some reason I'm so nervous around my girlfriend and I don't feel as if I'm good enough for her. Ive thought about breaking up with her but that would put me where I was before, a complete mess. I feel trapped.Listen, motherfucker: your girlfriend is an independent human being capable of her own thought process. Let's assume you're not some manipulative dickhead who's holding her emotions hostage in a self-absorbing display of egoism. If you are then there's your problem, but I know you're not that. Perhaps you may get this impression because you see yourself in such a negative light and her in such a positive one that you simply cannot fathom why anyone like her would ever love you if not because they were being held against their will, but odds are that this is wrong and you're being paranoid. Point is: if she didn't reciprocate some form of affection, she wouldn't be your girlfriend now would she? She's capable of making her own decisions and acting upon them. If she's still by your side then odds are she considers you at the very least "good enough".
That's a step above complete lack of self-esteem now isn't it?
Ah but you want to be more than just "good enough". The idea of dancing along the line of being the bare minimum to keep the relationship afloat terrifies you. You feel like it could break at any moment. One small little bullshit on a particularly bad day and bang, it's over. This stresses the fuck out of you. You don't want it to be so unstable.
You should begin by coming to face with some truths:
1) Most people consider themselves to be worth less than they actually are
2) You have unlimited access to all the bullshit that you've done wrong, because you lived it
3) You don't have unlimited access to all the bullshit other people have done wrong
Believe it or not, but odds are part of her wonders what makes you think she's good enough for you. Just like you are competing with a million other men that she could be more interested in, she is also competing with a million other women. She could find someone stronger, taller, more confident, more wealthy, more funny, who dresses better, who lives a more interesting life. Likewise she believes you could find someone who's more beautiful, sexier, wittier, ambitious, confident. At least some form of fear is reciprocated because love is essentially the desire of wanting someone else to accept you. This goes both ways.
This should hopefully make you more confident. Confidence goes a long way and I emphasize it here because self-doubt if your enemy. Confidence, even without reason, automatically makes you stronger. Self-doubt, even without reason, makes you weaker. If you let yourself fall into this vicious circle that you should doubt yourself because you're (in your mind) undesirable, this in turn makes you appear even weaker and thus less desirable. This is why you feel like being nervous is a rational reaction when it isn't. You look at all the ways you're sabotaging yourself without being conscious that the source of this sabotage is precisely your self-doubt.
Ruminate long and hard on these points and eventually you will see that you will have few reasons to be nervous and see that all and any problems will be nothing more than obstacles that you can tackle and solve directly, as opposed of feeling as if they are insurmountable by nature.
You will also come to realize that breaking up with her (and thus causing misery for the two of you) instead of working to improve your situation is idiotic. It's understandable that you feel that way, you love her and want what is best for her above what is best for you, but that doesn't make it any less stupid.
Thank you, both of you. I realize I'm being bit a idiotic and I think I'm going to reflect on myself now and try to work on these points.
[quote=gatsan]if she agrees to be ur gf surely ur good enough for her :)[/quote]
[quote=Fuxx][quote=rzr]I know its retarded, but for some reason I'm so nervous around my girlfriend and I don't feel as if I'm good enough for her. Ive thought about breaking up with her but that would put me where I was before, a complete mess. I feel trapped.[/quote]
Listen, motherfucker: your girlfriend is an independent human being capable of her own thought process. Let's assume you're not some manipulative dickhead who's holding her emotions hostage in a self-absorbing display of egoism. If you are then there's your problem, but I know you're not that. Perhaps you may get this impression because you see yourself in such a negative light and her in such a positive one that you simply cannot fathom why anyone like her would ever love you if not because they were being held against their will, but odds are that this is wrong and you're being paranoid. Point is: if she didn't reciprocate some form of affection, she wouldn't be your girlfriend now would she? She's capable of making her own decisions and acting upon them. If she's still by your side then odds are she considers you at the very least "good enough".
That's a step above complete lack of self-esteem now isn't it?
Ah but you want to be more than just "good enough". The idea of dancing along the line of being the bare minimum to keep the relationship afloat terrifies you. You feel like it could break at any moment. One small little bullshit on a particularly bad day and bang, it's over. This stresses the fuck out of you. You don't want it to be so unstable.
You should begin by coming to face with some truths:
1) Most people consider themselves to be worth less than they actually are
2) You have unlimited access to all the bullshit that you've done wrong, because [i]you[/i] lived it
3) You don't have unlimited access to all the bullshit other people have done wrong
Believe it or not, but odds are part of her wonders what makes you think she's good enough for you. Just like you are competing with a million other men that she could be more interested in, she is also competing with a million other women. She could find someone stronger, taller, more confident, more wealthy, more funny, who dresses better, who lives a more interesting life. Likewise she believes you could find someone who's more beautiful, sexier, wittier, ambitious, confident. At least some form of fear is reciprocated because [i]love is essentially the desire of wanting someone else to accept you[/i]. This goes both ways.
This should hopefully make you more [b]confident[/b]. Confidence goes a long way and I emphasize it here because self-doubt if your enemy. Confidence, even without reason, automatically makes you stronger. Self-doubt, even without reason, makes you weaker. If you let yourself fall into this vicious circle that you should doubt yourself because you're (in your mind) undesirable, this in turn makes you appear even weaker and thus less desirable. This is why you feel like being nervous is a rational reaction when it isn't. You look at all the ways you're sabotaging yourself without being conscious that the source of this sabotage is precisely your self-doubt.
Ruminate long and hard on these points and eventually you will see that you will have few reasons to be nervous and see that all and any problems will be nothing more than obstacles that you can tackle and solve directly, as opposed of feeling as if they are insurmountable by nature.
You will also come to realize that breaking up with her (and thus causing misery for the two of you) instead of working to improve your situation is idiotic. It's understandable that you feel that way, you love her and want what is best for her above what is best for you, but that doesn't make it any less stupid.[/quote]
Thank you, both of you. I realize I'm being bit a idiotic and I think I'm going to reflect on myself now and try to work on these points.
[quote=Fuxx][quote=rzr]I know its retarded, but for some reason I'm so nervous around my girlfriend and I don't feel as if I'm good enough for her. Ive thought about breaking up with her but that would put me where I was before, a complete mess. I feel trapped.[/quote]
Listen, motherfucker: your girlfriend is an independent human being capable of her own thought process. Let's assume you're not some manipulative dickhead who's holding her emotions hostage in a self-absorbing display of egoism. If you are then there's your problem, but I know you're not that. Perhaps you may get this impression because you see yourself in such a negative light and her in such a positive one that you simply cannot fathom why anyone like her would ever love you if not because they were being held against their will, but odds are that this is wrong and you're being paranoid. Point is: if she didn't reciprocate some form of affection, she wouldn't be your girlfriend now would she? She's capable of making her own decisions and acting upon them. If she's still by your side then odds are she considers you at the very least "good enough".
That's a step above complete lack of self-esteem now isn't it?
Ah but you want to be more than just "good enough". The idea of dancing along the line of being the bare minimum to keep the relationship afloat terrifies you. You feel like it could break at any moment. One small little bullshit on a particularly bad day and bang, it's over. This stresses the fuck out of you. You don't want it to be so unstable.
You should begin by coming to face with some truths:
1) Most people consider themselves to be worth less than they actually are
2) You have unlimited access to all the bullshit that you've done wrong, because [i]you[/i] lived it
3) You don't have unlimited access to all the bullshit other people have done wrong
Believe it or not, but odds are part of her wonders what makes you think she's good enough for you. Just like you are competing with a million other men that she could be more interested in, she is also competing with a million other women. She could find someone stronger, taller, more confident, more wealthy, more funny, who dresses better, who lives a more interesting life. Likewise she believes you could find someone who's more beautiful, sexier, wittier, ambitious, confident. At least some form of fear is reciprocated because [i]love is essentially the desire of wanting someone else to accept you[/i]. This goes both ways.
This should hopefully make you more [b]confident[/b]. Confidence goes a long way and I emphasize it here because self-doubt if your enemy. Confidence, even without reason, automatically makes you stronger. Self-doubt, even without reason, makes you weaker. If you let yourself fall into this vicious circle that you should doubt yourself because you're (in your mind) undesirable, this in turn makes you appear even weaker and thus less desirable. This is why you feel like being nervous is a rational reaction when it isn't. You look at all the ways you're sabotaging yourself without being conscious that the source of this sabotage is precisely your self-doubt.
Ruminate long and hard on these points and eventually you will see that you will have few reasons to be nervous and see that all and any problems will be nothing more than obstacles that you can tackle and solve directly, as opposed of feeling as if they are insurmountable by nature.
You will also come to realize that breaking up with her (and thus causing misery for the two of you) instead of working to improve your situation is idiotic. It's understandable that you feel that way, you love her and want what is best for her above what is best for you, but that doesn't make it any less stupid.[/quote]
Thank you, both of you. I realize I'm being bit a idiotic and I think I'm going to reflect on myself now and try to work on these points.
long post about me and the tf2 community
Show Content
it's prob too late to post this in this thread since i feel like nobody really reads this thread anymore so...
i've had this thought on my mind for like a year now and idk i should prob try posting about it in this thread
why do people take tftv like so seriously
this is an honest question
like i'd say that posting in tftv is prob the biggest mistake i've made while playing tf2, well more like posting enough to get recognized from, like honestly i truly regret like ever posting in tftv
you're prob asking
the main reason why i regret posting in here so much is the rep that i slowly got while posting in tftv, which is something i don't like at all, people treat me differently just because i post in here, people that i've never heard of or interacted with before just hate me already or are at least hostile/mean to me just because i'm a well known poster i guess
i think the best example of this is spaceghostcoffee, iirc the first time i've ever interacted with him he immediately started talking about tftv and my nerdstars and dumb shit like "omg you don't deserve those nerdstars" and iirc he also told to me go fuck myself or something like that it was a long time ago, it's all kinda fuzzy.
EDIT:
(keep in mind that spaceghost isnt the first or last person that has been mean or been hostile to me just because of my tftv posts, i could also talk about n3 and a lot of people in NA pugchamp, but the thing that happened with spaceghost is the prob the best example i can give to explain the point i'm trying to make here, that people take tftv way too seriously and that affects me because people end up being hostile to me)
i don't really care who is or whats their motive, if they mention tftv in my first interaction with them, i will have a bad first impression of them.
ofc not everyone i've ever met in tf2 has mentioned my tftv "reputation" which is a good thing really because i honestly hate this website, but you can tell like how some people just treat me differently just because i'm a poster here, sometimes in a good way but mostly in a bad way
i don't like getting treated differently just because i'm a tftv poster, even if they treat me differently in a good way, i don't like that, cuz i've literally done nothing in the community and i dont see why i would get treated differently.
tftv posts are meaningless and dumb most of the time, same with nerdstars and +/- frags, like esp nerdstars cuz people will literally fuckin cry or some shit if you "don't deserve your nerdstars", NOBODY should take TFTV posts seriously, as simple as that.
and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only person that has gotten treated differently from others just because they're tftv posters, the names that come into mind are maybe capnfapn and billdozer, who if it wasnt for their tftv posting, they would just be some random tf2 players that havent done that well in esea, but i've seen both of them get treated like god comedians or some shit just because of their posts (i'm exaggerating a bit but you get the point i'm trying to make here)
like honestly i would rather be a random nobody in the comp community than to be known as a this, idk, lifeless memer who just sits in tftv, i honestly hate when people think that of me.
although i'm aware that tftv rep is not the only reason why i get shittalked or anything, since sometimes (rarely) play pugs and slightly whine and complain about certain things about my team (i mean, i'm playing med most of the time ofc i have to say stuff like that sometimes), although i do try to stay positive and nice while puggin.
thats another thing also, that i always try to be positive and nice and all that good stuff, but because i have this reputation as a memey lifeless shitposter, it doesnt work out because it doesnt matter how nice i try to be to people, i'm just a lifeless memer in their eyes.
another thing is that, i've always gotten the short end of the stick no matter what, like most of my ""friends"" treat me like shit most of the time, and i'm usually the scapegoat no matter what i do or what they do, it's always my fault, and i'm constantly disrespected by a lot of people for no reason, i'm not saying that i want to get treated like a king and that everyone should respect me, but more like, i just want to get treated like a normal person for once and get treated with a decent amount of respect
like i've never meant harm with my posts or with anything really, my posts are just simple posts that i came up with and typed, same thing could be said about most of my actions and stuff, i have good intentions most of the time
like everytime i notice that i get shitalked, or get treated differently, or someone is being hostile to me, just because of my tftv rep as a poster, i feel like i have my back against the wall, a wall that i builded myself and i cant destroy or anything, it's just gonna be there forever.
this could also just be me being a massive emotional fag but who knows
EDIT 2:
i think people would assume that i hate the concept of nerdstars just by saying that i completely hate this website, like i said yeah nerdstars are fucking retarded but whats more retarded is how people take them so seriously and get so mad when someone who has them "doesn't deserve them".
i won't get mad if my nerdstars got nuked or some shit infact its something i want since i kinda just want to stop existing in this website
i've had this thought on my mind for like a year now and idk i should prob try posting about it in this thread
why do people take tftv like so seriously
this is an honest question
like i'd say that posting in tftv is prob the biggest mistake i've made while playing tf2, well more like posting enough to get recognized from, like honestly i truly regret like ever posting in tftv
you're prob asking
why do you still post then if you dont like posting in tftvi've passed the point of no return where, even if i stop posting, even if i somehow nuke all my posts and delete my account from this website, i'd still get recognized by people as "that tftv shitposter", which is something i dont want to be known as, if i keep posting, nothing different will happen, infact, if i somehow delete my account and posts, my rep is prob gonna be worse because i'm not only gonna be a tftv shitposter, i'm a gonna be a tftv shitposter who deleted his posts because he was being a massive pussy.
the main reason why i regret posting in here so much is the rep that i slowly got while posting in tftv, which is something i don't like at all, people treat me differently just because i post in here, people that i've never heard of or interacted with before just hate me already or are at least hostile/mean to me just because i'm a well known poster i guess
i think the best example of this is spaceghostcoffee, iirc the first time i've ever interacted with him he immediately started talking about tftv and my nerdstars and dumb shit like "omg you don't deserve those nerdstars" and iirc he also told to me go fuck myself or something like that it was a long time ago, it's all kinda fuzzy.
EDIT:
(keep in mind that spaceghost isnt the first or last person that has been mean or been hostile to me just because of my tftv posts, i could also talk about n3 and a lot of people in NA pugchamp, but the thing that happened with spaceghost is the prob the best example i can give to explain the point i'm trying to make here, that people take tftv way too seriously and that affects me because people end up being hostile to me)
i don't really care who is or whats their motive, if they mention tftv in my first interaction with them, i will have a bad first impression of them.
ofc not everyone i've ever met in tf2 has mentioned my tftv "reputation" which is a good thing really because i honestly hate this website, but you can tell like how some people just treat me differently just because i'm a poster here, sometimes in a good way but mostly in a bad way
i don't like getting treated differently just because i'm a tftv poster, even if they treat me differently in a good way, i don't like that, cuz i've literally done nothing in the community and i dont see why i would get treated differently.
tftv posts are meaningless and dumb most of the time, same with nerdstars and +/- frags, like esp nerdstars cuz people will literally fuckin cry or some shit if you "don't deserve your nerdstars", NOBODY should take TFTV posts seriously, as simple as that.
and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only person that has gotten treated differently from others just because they're tftv posters, the names that come into mind are maybe capnfapn and billdozer, who if it wasnt for their tftv posting, they would just be some random tf2 players that havent done that well in esea, but i've seen both of them get treated like god comedians or some shit just because of their posts (i'm exaggerating a bit but you get the point i'm trying to make here)
like honestly i would rather be a random nobody in the comp community than to be known as a this, idk, lifeless memer who just sits in tftv, i honestly hate when people think that of me.
although i'm aware that tftv rep is not the only reason why i get shittalked or anything, since sometimes (rarely) play pugs and slightly whine and complain about certain things about my team (i mean, i'm playing med most of the time ofc i have to say stuff like that sometimes), although i do try to stay positive and nice while puggin.
thats another thing also, that i always try to be positive and nice and all that good stuff, but because i have this reputation as a memey lifeless shitposter, it doesnt work out because it doesnt matter how nice i try to be to people, i'm just a lifeless memer in their eyes.
another thing is that, i've always gotten the short end of the stick no matter what, like most of my ""friends"" treat me like shit most of the time, and i'm usually the scapegoat no matter what i do or what they do, it's always my fault, and i'm constantly disrespected by a lot of people for no reason, i'm not saying that i want to get treated like a king and that everyone should respect me, but more like, i just want to get treated like a normal person for once and get treated with a decent amount of respect
like i've never meant harm with my posts or with anything really, my posts are just simple posts that i came up with and typed, same thing could be said about most of my actions and stuff, i have good intentions most of the time
like everytime i notice that i get shitalked, or get treated differently, or someone is being hostile to me, just because of my tftv rep as a poster, i feel like i have my back against the wall, a wall that i builded myself and i cant destroy or anything, it's just gonna be there forever.
this could also just be me being a massive emotional fag but who knows
EDIT 2:
i think people would assume that i hate the concept of nerdstars just by saying that i completely hate this website, like i said yeah nerdstars are fucking retarded but whats more retarded is how people take them so seriously and get so mad when someone who has them "doesn't deserve them".
i won't get mad if my nerdstars got nuked or some shit infact its something i want since i kinda just want to stop existing in this website
long post about me and the tf2 community
[spoiler]
it's prob too late to post this in this thread since i feel like nobody really reads this thread anymore so...
i've had this thought on my mind for like a year now and idk i should prob try posting about it in this thread
why do people take tftv like so seriously
this is an honest question
like i'd say that posting in tftv is prob the biggest mistake i've made while playing tf2, well more like posting enough to get recognized from, like honestly i truly regret like ever posting in tftv
you're prob asking
[quote]why do you still post then if you dont like posting in tftv[/quote]
i've passed the point of no return where, even if i stop posting, even if i somehow nuke all my posts and delete my account from this website, i'd still get recognized by people as "that tftv shitposter", which is something i dont want to be known as, if i keep posting, nothing different will happen, infact, if i somehow delete my account and posts, my rep is prob gonna be worse because i'm not only gonna be a tftv shitposter, i'm a gonna be a tftv shitposter who deleted his posts because he was being a massive pussy.
the main reason why i regret posting in here so much is the rep that i slowly got while posting in tftv, which is something i don't like at all, people treat me differently just because i post in here, people that i've never heard of or interacted with before just hate me already or are at least hostile/mean to me just because i'm a well known poster i guess
i think the best example of this is spaceghostcoffee, iirc the first time i've ever interacted with him he immediately started talking about tftv and my nerdstars and dumb shit like "omg you don't deserve those nerdstars" and iirc he also told to me go fuck myself or something like that it was a long time ago, it's all kinda fuzzy.
[b]EDIT:
(keep in mind that spaceghost isnt the first or last person that has been mean or been hostile to me just because of my tftv posts, i could also talk about n3 and a lot of people in NA pugchamp, but the thing that happened with spaceghost is the prob the best example i can give to explain the point i'm trying to make here, that people take tftv way too seriously and that affects me because people end up being hostile to me)[/b]
i don't really care who is or whats their motive, if they mention tftv in my first interaction with them, i will have a bad first impression of them.
ofc not everyone i've ever met in tf2 has mentioned my tftv "reputation" which is a good thing really because i honestly hate this website, but you can tell like how some people just treat me differently just because i'm a poster here, sometimes in a good way but mostly in a bad way
i don't like getting treated differently just because i'm a tftv poster, even if they treat me differently in a good way, i don't like that, cuz i've literally done nothing in the community and i dont see why i would get treated differently.
tftv posts are meaningless and dumb most of the time, same with nerdstars and +/- frags, like esp nerdstars cuz people will literally fuckin cry or some shit if you "don't deserve your nerdstars", NOBODY should take TFTV posts seriously, as simple as that.
and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only person that has gotten treated differently from others just because they're tftv posters, the names that come into mind are maybe capnfapn and billdozer, who if it wasnt for their tftv posting, they would just be some random tf2 players that havent done that well in esea, but i've seen both of them get treated like god comedians or some shit just because of their posts (i'm exaggerating a bit but you get the point i'm trying to make here)
like honestly i would rather be a random nobody in the comp community than to be known as a this, idk, lifeless memer who just sits in tftv, i honestly hate when people think that of me.
although i'm aware that tftv rep is not the only reason why i get shittalked or anything, since sometimes (rarely) play pugs and slightly whine and complain about certain things about my team (i mean, i'm playing med most of the time ofc i have to say stuff like that sometimes), although i do try to stay positive and nice while puggin.
thats another thing also, that i always try to be positive and nice and all that good stuff, but because i have this reputation as a memey lifeless shitposter, it doesnt work out because it doesnt matter how nice i try to be to people, i'm just a lifeless memer in their eyes.
another thing is that, i've always gotten the short end of the stick no matter what, like most of my ""friends"" treat me like shit most of the time, and i'm usually the scapegoat no matter what i do or what they do, it's always my fault, and i'm constantly disrespected by a lot of people for no reason, i'm not saying that i want to get treated like a king and that everyone should respect me, but more like, i just want to get treated like a normal person for once and get treated with a decent amount of respect
like i've never meant harm with my posts or with anything really, my posts are just simple posts that i came up with and typed, same thing could be said about most of my actions and stuff, i have good intentions most of the time
like everytime i notice that i get shitalked, or get treated differently, or someone is being hostile to me, just because of my tftv rep as a poster, i feel like i have my back against the wall, a wall that i builded myself and i cant destroy or anything, it's just gonna be there forever.
this could also just be me being a massive emotional fag but who knows
[b]EDIT 2:
i think people would assume that i hate the concept of nerdstars just by saying that i completely hate this website, like i said yeah nerdstars are fucking retarded but whats more retarded is how people take them so seriously and get so mad when someone who has them "doesn't deserve them".
i won't get mad if my nerdstars got nuked or some shit infact its something i want since i kinda just want to stop existing in this website[/b]
[/spoiler]
[spoiler]
it's prob too late to post this in this thread since i feel like nobody really reads this thread anymore so...
i've had this thought on my mind for like a year now and idk i should prob try posting about it in this thread
why do people take tftv like so seriously
this is an honest question
like i'd say that posting in tftv is prob the biggest mistake i've made while playing tf2, well more like posting enough to get recognized from, like honestly i truly regret like ever posting in tftv
you're prob asking
[quote]why do you still post then if you dont like posting in tftv[/quote]
i've passed the point of no return where, even if i stop posting, even if i somehow nuke all my posts and delete my account from this website, i'd still get recognized by people as "that tftv shitposter", which is something i dont want to be known as, if i keep posting, nothing different will happen, infact, if i somehow delete my account and posts, my rep is prob gonna be worse because i'm not only gonna be a tftv shitposter, i'm a gonna be a tftv shitposter who deleted his posts because he was being a massive pussy.
the main reason why i regret posting in here so much is the rep that i slowly got while posting in tftv, which is something i don't like at all, people treat me differently just because i post in here, people that i've never heard of or interacted with before just hate me already or are at least hostile/mean to me just because i'm a well known poster i guess
i think the best example of this is spaceghostcoffee, iirc the first time i've ever interacted with him he immediately started talking about tftv and my nerdstars and dumb shit like "omg you don't deserve those nerdstars" and iirc he also told to me go fuck myself or something like that it was a long time ago, it's all kinda fuzzy.
[b]EDIT:
(keep in mind that spaceghost isnt the first or last person that has been mean or been hostile to me just because of my tftv posts, i could also talk about n3 and a lot of people in NA pugchamp, but the thing that happened with spaceghost is the prob the best example i can give to explain the point i'm trying to make here, that people take tftv way too seriously and that affects me because people end up being hostile to me)[/b]
i don't really care who is or whats their motive, if they mention tftv in my first interaction with them, i will have a bad first impression of them.
ofc not everyone i've ever met in tf2 has mentioned my tftv "reputation" which is a good thing really because i honestly hate this website, but you can tell like how some people just treat me differently just because i'm a poster here, sometimes in a good way but mostly in a bad way
i don't like getting treated differently just because i'm a tftv poster, even if they treat me differently in a good way, i don't like that, cuz i've literally done nothing in the community and i dont see why i would get treated differently.
tftv posts are meaningless and dumb most of the time, same with nerdstars and +/- frags, like esp nerdstars cuz people will literally fuckin cry or some shit if you "don't deserve your nerdstars", NOBODY should take TFTV posts seriously, as simple as that.
and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only person that has gotten treated differently from others just because they're tftv posters, the names that come into mind are maybe capnfapn and billdozer, who if it wasnt for their tftv posting, they would just be some random tf2 players that havent done that well in esea, but i've seen both of them get treated like god comedians or some shit just because of their posts (i'm exaggerating a bit but you get the point i'm trying to make here)
like honestly i would rather be a random nobody in the comp community than to be known as a this, idk, lifeless memer who just sits in tftv, i honestly hate when people think that of me.
although i'm aware that tftv rep is not the only reason why i get shittalked or anything, since sometimes (rarely) play pugs and slightly whine and complain about certain things about my team (i mean, i'm playing med most of the time ofc i have to say stuff like that sometimes), although i do try to stay positive and nice while puggin.
thats another thing also, that i always try to be positive and nice and all that good stuff, but because i have this reputation as a memey lifeless shitposter, it doesnt work out because it doesnt matter how nice i try to be to people, i'm just a lifeless memer in their eyes.
another thing is that, i've always gotten the short end of the stick no matter what, like most of my ""friends"" treat me like shit most of the time, and i'm usually the scapegoat no matter what i do or what they do, it's always my fault, and i'm constantly disrespected by a lot of people for no reason, i'm not saying that i want to get treated like a king and that everyone should respect me, but more like, i just want to get treated like a normal person for once and get treated with a decent amount of respect
like i've never meant harm with my posts or with anything really, my posts are just simple posts that i came up with and typed, same thing could be said about most of my actions and stuff, i have good intentions most of the time
like everytime i notice that i get shitalked, or get treated differently, or someone is being hostile to me, just because of my tftv rep as a poster, i feel like i have my back against the wall, a wall that i builded myself and i cant destroy or anything, it's just gonna be there forever.
this could also just be me being a massive emotional fag but who knows
[b]EDIT 2:
i think people would assume that i hate the concept of nerdstars just by saying that i completely hate this website, like i said yeah nerdstars are fucking retarded but whats more retarded is how people take them so seriously and get so mad when someone who has them "doesn't deserve them".
i won't get mad if my nerdstars got nuked or some shit infact its something i want since i kinda just want to stop existing in this website[/b]
[/spoiler]
smesilong post about me and the tf2 communityShow Content
just find people u like and hang out with them, its not like anyone worth hanging out with is gunna care how many +frags u get. i started enjoying this game way more once i just stopped interacting with people i dont like
ive basically made every attempt to get people to dislike me and i still have people to hang out with. keep posting on the forums if you want, the only reason i still do is because im an idiot and i make myself laugh
also about having a repuation it can be shitty like i remember at GXL a bunch of highlander kids came up to me and asked me to "meme" on a forum post and i wanted to kill myself
[quote=smesi]long post about me and the tf2 community
[spoiler][/spoiler][/quote]
just find people u like and hang out with them, its not like anyone worth hanging out with is gunna care how many +frags u get. i started enjoying this game way more once i just stopped interacting with people i dont like
ive basically made every attempt to get people to dislike me and i still have people to hang out with. keep posting on the forums if you want, the only reason i still do is because im an idiot and i make myself laugh
also about having a repuation it can be shitty like i remember at GXL a bunch of highlander kids came up to me and asked me to "meme" on a forum post and i wanted to kill myself
[spoiler][/spoiler][/quote]
just find people u like and hang out with them, its not like anyone worth hanging out with is gunna care how many +frags u get. i started enjoying this game way more once i just stopped interacting with people i dont like
ive basically made every attempt to get people to dislike me and i still have people to hang out with. keep posting on the forums if you want, the only reason i still do is because im an idiot and i make myself laugh
also about having a repuation it can be shitty like i remember at GXL a bunch of highlander kids came up to me and asked me to "meme" on a forum post and i wanted to kill myself
when you don't get the same enjoyment out of things you used to love. drifting away from old friends. struggling to find new things and people to meet
when you don't get the same enjoyment out of things you used to love. drifting away from old friends. struggling to find new things and people to meet
Jackawawhen you don't get the same enjoyment out of things you used to love. drifting away from old friends. struggling to find new things and people to meet
meet up with me and muma at the overwatch contenders lan
[quote=Jackawa]when you don't get the same enjoyment out of things you used to love. drifting away from old friends. struggling to find new things and people to meet[/quote]
meet up with me and muma at the overwatch contenders lan
meet up with me and muma at the overwatch contenders lan
my best friend killed himself in april because the girl he was with didn't want to be in a serious relationship with him, and now i am dating her. also i am really bad at anything new i try, and my skill deteriorates very quickly unless i practice something daily. (this applies to tying shoes, writing my name, etc. i was dropped on my head a shitload as a kid and literally ate paintchips, so that might not have helped)
my best friend killed himself in april because the girl he was with didn't want to be in a serious relationship with him, and now i am dating her. also i am really bad at anything new i try, and my skill deteriorates very quickly unless i practice something daily. (this applies to tying shoes, writing my name, etc. i was dropped on my head a shitload as a kid and literally ate paintchips, so that might not have helped)
Tholemy best friend killed himself in april because the girl he was with didn't want to be in a serious relationship with him, and now i am dating her. also i am really bad at anything new i try, and my skill deteriorates very quickly unless i practice something daily. (this applies to tying shoes, writing my name, etc. i was dropped on my head a shitload as a kid and literally ate paintchips, so that might not have helped)
wtf is this
[quote=Thole]my best friend killed himself in april because the girl he was with didn't want to be in a serious relationship with him, and now i am dating her. also i am really bad at anything new i try, and my skill deteriorates very quickly unless i practice something daily. (this applies to tying shoes, writing my name, etc. i was dropped on my head a shitload as a kid and literally ate paintchips, so that might not have helped)[/quote]
wtf is this
wtf is this
Tholemy best friend killed himself in april because the girl he was with didn't want to be in a serious relationship with him, and now i am dating her. also i am really bad at anything new i try, and my skill deteriorates very quickly unless i practice something daily. (this applies to tying shoes, writing my name, etc. i was dropped on my head a shitload as a kid and literally ate paintchips, so that might not have helped)
you should name your first kid with her after your best friend
[quote=Thole]my best friend killed himself in april because the girl he was with didn't want to be in a serious relationship with him, and now i am dating her. also i am really bad at anything new i try, and my skill deteriorates very quickly unless i practice something daily. (this applies to tying shoes, writing my name, etc. i was dropped on my head a shitload as a kid and literally ate paintchips, so that might not have helped)[/quote]
you should name your first kid with her after your best friend
you should name your first kid with her after your best friend
update: "i haven't broken up with you because I'm worried you'll kill yourself"
update: "i haven't broken up with you because I'm worried you'll kill yourself"
Tholeupdate: "i haven't broken up with you because I'm worried you'll kill yourself"
Do u guys actually joke about your dead friend wtf
[quote=Thole]update: "i haven't broken up with you because I'm worried you'll kill yourself"[/quote]
Do u guys actually joke about your dead friend wtf
Do u guys actually joke about your dead friend wtf
im really ANGRY that my favorite baseball team has never made playfofs when im old enough to remember it and yet i still w atch every game
and this is a real issue okay i am very passionate about the seattle mariners
im really ANGRY that my favorite baseball team has never made playfofs when im old enough to remember it and yet i still w atch every game
and this is a real issue okay i am very passionate about the seattle mariners
and this is a real issue okay i am very passionate about the seattle mariners
I was gonna write a whole story but it turned out awful so, long story short, since 2015 I've had 8 very important people in my life pass away causing severe undiagnosed depression and multiple failed suicide attempts. I don't ever tell my girlfriend of over a year how I feel because I fear I'll lose her. To this day I still feel worthless and better off dead, even though I have an amazing girlfriend and a supportive family.
I was gonna write a whole story but it turned out awful so, long story short, since 2015 I've had 8 very important people in my life pass away causing severe undiagnosed depression and multiple failed suicide attempts. I don't ever tell my girlfriend of over a year how I feel because I fear I'll lose her. To this day I still feel worthless and better off dead, even though I have an amazing girlfriend and a supportive family.
feel like this mostly gets hate everywhere else i post due to valve-praising idiots but can valve just fucking hire some people to work on this game. you make money off of it, so ditch the "you can work wherever you want" bs for just a moment and get some people on this dev team. it's absolutely ridiculous that a company of this status is just ok with the current situation regarding the tf2 team and updating the game.
feel like this mostly gets hate everywhere else i post due to valve-praising idiots but can valve just fucking hire some people to work on this game. you make money off of it, so ditch the "you can work wherever you want" bs for just a moment and get some people on this dev team. it's absolutely ridiculous that a company of this status is just ok with the current situation regarding the tf2 team and updating the game.
everyone hates me cuz im bad at the game but im very nice to people :(
everyone hates me cuz im bad at the game but im very nice to people :(
My high school is ultra competitive and filled with snakes trying to get into ivy leagues even if it means denying other people their chances (which is the most retarded shit I've ever seen). Because of that environment I'm always trying to be good at school, but I procrastinate a shit ton and can't work that well unless it's like a group project so my grades are bad comparatively. I have no passion for almost anything and the things I used to have passion for have kind of died because my parents don't support it. On top of that I get bullied for being short at school in front of teachers principals etc and my self confidence has dropped to basically 0. Sports that I used to love suck for me now because my neck and back hurt so much every morning when I wake up. I've gained 20 pounds in the last 6 months and haven't lost a single pound despite going to bed being hungry and running every other day for the last month. My parents keep pressuring me to do well in school and want me to go to a good college, but I feel like I won't even get into the colleges everyone call "safety" at my school.
sry for the rant but i dont want to talk to shitty friends in my school who only care about themselves
My high school is ultra competitive and filled with snakes trying to get into ivy leagues even if it means denying other people their chances (which is the most retarded shit I've ever seen). Because of that environment I'm always trying to be good at school, but I procrastinate a shit ton and can't work that well unless it's like a group project so my grades are bad comparatively. I have no passion for almost anything and the things I used to have passion for have kind of died because my parents don't support it. On top of that I get bullied for being short at school in front of teachers principals etc and my self confidence has dropped to basically 0. Sports that I used to love suck for me now because my neck and back hurt so much every morning when I wake up. I've gained 20 pounds in the last 6 months and haven't lost a single pound despite going to bed being hungry and running every other day for the last month. My parents keep pressuring me to do well in school and want me to go to a good college, but I feel like I won't even get into the colleges everyone call "safety" at my school.
sry for the rant but i dont want to talk to shitty friends in my school who only care about themselves
sry for the rant but i dont want to talk to shitty friends in my school who only care about themselves
part 2
Show Content
crackbabydumpsterjust find people u like and hang out with them, its not like anyone worth hanging out with is gunna care how many +frags u get.
i mean i have decent friends that rarely mention tftv when i'm around which is good, but it's only like 4-6 people and i don't always hang in their mumble that much because of few reasons, mostly because they don't really play that much tf2 so, although they're fun to hang out with
besides that uhh...
i don't really talk to that many people on my friendslist because i feel like most of them are only willing to have a conversation with me if i spew shitty memes or something, i only really talk to like 10 people on my friendslist and even then most people i enjoy talking either
- remove me
- ignore me / don't respond
- give short effortless responses / stop caring about me
also something i've noticed is that people only really start a conversation with me if its like 2am and everybodys snooze / offline on steam or if nobody wants to talk to them and i'm like the last person they want to talk so...
crackbabydumpsteri started enjoying this game way more once i just stopped interacting with people i dont like
well i've been doing this for a while (avoiding people i don't want to interact with), but something i realized is that, i only really enjoy playing tf2 while puggin or playing comp in general, and if i want to pug, i have to deal with retards that i don't like, most of the people i strongly dislike in the community pug a lot so...
that's kind why i don't pug as much as i used to, because, even if i have massive urge to play tf2, i don't add up if i see someone i dont want to interact with added up.
(also i slightly edited my op if anyone cares)
part 2
[spoiler][quote=crackbabydumpster]
just find people u like and hang out with them, its not like anyone worth hanging out with is gunna care how many +frags u get. [/quote]
i mean i have decent friends that rarely mention tftv when i'm around which is good, but it's only like 4-6 people and i don't always hang in their mumble that much because of few reasons, mostly because they don't really play that much tf2 so, although they're fun to hang out with
besides that uhh...
i don't really talk to that many people on my friendslist because i feel like most of them are only willing to have a conversation with me if i spew shitty memes or something, i only really talk to like 10 people on my friendslist and even then most people i enjoy talking either
[list]
[*] remove me
[*] ignore me / don't respond
[*] give short effortless responses / stop caring about me
[/list]
and even if they don't do that, i feel like i'm bothering them most of the time so i stop talking to them if i feel like i'm talking too much , although most of the time i end up talking to them later
also something i've noticed is that people only really start a conversation with me if its like 2am and everybodys snooze / offline on steam or if nobody wants to talk to them and i'm like the last person they want to talk so...
[quote=crackbabydumpster]
i started enjoying this game way more once i just stopped interacting with people i dont like[/quote]
well i've been doing this for a while (avoiding people i don't want to interact with), but something i realized is that, i only really enjoy playing tf2 while puggin or playing comp in general, and if i want to pug, i have to deal with retards that i don't like, most of the people i strongly dislike in the community pug a lot so...
that's kind why i don't pug as much as i used to, because, even if i have massive urge to play tf2, i don't add up if i see someone i dont want to interact with added up.
[/spoiler]
(also i slightly edited my op if anyone cares)
[spoiler][quote=crackbabydumpster]
just find people u like and hang out with them, its not like anyone worth hanging out with is gunna care how many +frags u get. [/quote]
i mean i have decent friends that rarely mention tftv when i'm around which is good, but it's only like 4-6 people and i don't always hang in their mumble that much because of few reasons, mostly because they don't really play that much tf2 so, although they're fun to hang out with
besides that uhh...
i don't really talk to that many people on my friendslist because i feel like most of them are only willing to have a conversation with me if i spew shitty memes or something, i only really talk to like 10 people on my friendslist and even then most people i enjoy talking either
[list]
[*] remove me
[*] ignore me / don't respond
[*] give short effortless responses / stop caring about me
[/list]
and even if they don't do that, i feel like i'm bothering them most of the time so i stop talking to them if i feel like i'm talking too much , although most of the time i end up talking to them later
also something i've noticed is that people only really start a conversation with me if its like 2am and everybodys snooze / offline on steam or if nobody wants to talk to them and i'm like the last person they want to talk so...
[quote=crackbabydumpster]
i started enjoying this game way more once i just stopped interacting with people i dont like[/quote]
well i've been doing this for a while (avoiding people i don't want to interact with), but something i realized is that, i only really enjoy playing tf2 while puggin or playing comp in general, and if i want to pug, i have to deal with retards that i don't like, most of the people i strongly dislike in the community pug a lot so...
that's kind why i don't pug as much as i used to, because, even if i have massive urge to play tf2, i don't add up if i see someone i dont want to interact with added up.
[/spoiler]
(also i slightly edited my op if anyone cares)
gatsaneveryone hates me cuz im bad at the game but im very nice to people :(
i dont hate u :)
[quote=gatsan]everyone hates me cuz im bad at the game but im very nice to people :([/quote]
i dont hate u :)
i dont hate u :)
i'm really sad about not being able to go to i61. I know that I can most likely go next year but I don't know if my friends still plays by then or even if tf2 i series is a thing.
i'm really sad about not being able to go to i61. I know that I can most likely go next year but I don't know if my friends still plays by then or even if tf2 i series is a thing.
My DM is complete dogshit. I try to convince myself otherwise by saying that I'm just inconsistent and citing times when I did well, which are usually against even worse players, but every time I do 140 dpm in a lobby or get destroyed by someone with half my hours, it just reminds me of the real problem. I don't have the willpower or energy to practice hard enough to get to a decent level by the start of next season.
My DM is complete dogshit. I try to convince myself otherwise by saying that I'm just inconsistent and citing times when I did well, which are usually against even worse players, but every time I do 140 dpm in a lobby or get destroyed by someone with half my hours, it just reminds me of the real problem. I don't have the willpower or energy to practice hard enough to get to a decent level by the start of next season.
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