Welcome to Page 9.
GGs to NAV Esports

hell yea brother

https://youtu.be/OXQwx1EolD8

regardless of these underage depictions of anime girls being "cartoons" therefore it not mattering because they're not real. you're still jerking off to depictions of underaged girls, you're still SEXUALLY attracted to their underdeveloped bodies, stop trying to justify this creepy ass behavior

in my eyes that's still a fucking

https://previews.123rf.com/images/elosa/elosa1305/elosa130500083/19452899-the-red-letter-l-hold-by-a-hand-isolated.jpg

my pocket soldier m3ndo apparently got banned on esea for looking at players
crack head admins? wtf we have a match tonite

bro i posted shitty power rankings so that the thread would stop being about pedophilia, flame me instead you mongo

link?

i don't really care about power rankings lol

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/302148223114543104/577644567231332372/unknown.png

Shout out to SkyZ gaming for rescheduling multiple times just to report the ffw while we were joining.

something something you paid $7
something something scam ffw's
something something waste my time
something something die

wtf u guys paid 7 dollars i had to pay 10

which open team has the best team name? we think it's Mans Gotta EATsports or MGE for short

i LOVE to game

What is this?
A screenshot for ants?

can a gamer just get his rocks off in peace? :/

Good game boomers

shout out to my mans playing on his bday

big thanks to carbon overdose for doubling down and replaying the previous ffw, good looks boys

*very* gg to thicc six beer league

https://play.esea.net/match/14895494

had lots of fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv13gl0a-FA

ESEA Open Power Rankings S31: Vol. 1 of 7, 5/15/19
Updates every Monday probably (this one was delayed for exams).

I wasn't planning on doing nerd essay rankings again, but I figured I might as well do it for the last season since it isn't that much work aside from the first one.

Keep in mind this is largely speculation since there's little info to go off of, so expect major changes in the next update if I do one.
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#1 The Medic Academy (5-0)

My first somewhat random guess for the #1 spot. Three of the starting players have IM playoff experience and a few others have IM experience as well. I'm not sure who their medic Rockboss is since he has no prior ESEA history, but he seems to be doing good. Right now, they have a notable win over Mr. Popo and John Milter's team, The Perfect Sip,
which is a more valuable victory than any other team can lay claim to so far.

#2 Late to Mid (4-0)

Three old invite players return for one last adventure in ESEA. They haven't played in a while, but for open, it shouldn't be a big deal. Taiga, Crybaby, and a few others round out the rest of their roster well enough to make them contenders.

#3 Operation Starve B4nny (4-0)

This team has a number of strong players who are high open or IM level. To top it off, they have Screwball, one of the most experienced players in the division.

#4 Cheep Cheep (5-0)

A mish-mash of players with some Invite/IM experience and a few high open players. Most importantly, the legendary dflame has returned.

#5 The Perfect Sip (4-1)

Like it or not, the Mr. Popo and John Milter combo returns following 2 consecutive division wins. This time, they've filled out most of their roster with remnants of last season's top contender, Enoch eSports (AKA the FaceIt Super Team), so it's hard to imagine them placing outside top 6.

#6 Midfright (3-1)

I'm not sure how seriously these guys are taking the season, but they have a wealth of experience. I don't think they are top contenders, but I imagine they'll make playoffs without too much hassle.

#7 Rats on Acid (5-0)

Even though the rats aren't all on their main classes, they formed early enough pre-season to scrim a lot and get used to their roles. They've done good so far, collecting 4 wins with only moderate difficulty.

#8 OK Kids (5-0)

The kids have been together for a long time and now return for their 9th registered season. With some quality wins over Not Gay and Soulja Boy eSports, their final ESEA season is looking OK.

#9 Angry Dog Noises (5-0)

The best dog-themed team in open has faced fairly soft competition so far, but they've won in expected fashion without losing any rounds. Even though they haven't had much chance to showcase their skills in matches, they've performed pretty well in scrims.

#10 Soulja Boy eSports (4-1)

Although Team Win Steel did not win steel or open (they didn't even play steel), a number of it's players have reformed with the new, slightly less misleading, Soulja Boy eSports team. XBS on scout is an interesting choice for them. His first game against OK Kids didn't go great in terms of stats, but his deep experience and gamesense will allow him to contribute in ways not represented by the scoreboard, so it's hard to measure how much impact he'll have.

#11 Free Mr. U (3-2)

The N-Word Free Zone returns to seek social justice for Mr. U. They got upset 0-4 on Product, but considering they played a bunch of Highlander players, it's understandable that Riverside TF had more experience on the terrain. Their record sits at 3-2, but even in a loss, they were able to steal a few rounds from Cheep Cheep.

#12 Crayon Eater eSports (4-1)

None of these players have much apparent experience worth noting, but they've done well and picked up a good win over Yarn Legacy. Aside from a slightly amusing ESEA bio, there isn't much to say about them until they play a bit more.

#13 Yarn Legacy (4-1)

With so little to go off of, it's hard to make a strong judgement about the Yarn boys. I was surprised they lost to Crayon Eater eSports, but looking at their players, they have a ton of combined experience as well as a former invite player, so they've got a lot going in their favor.

#14 Nav eSports (3-2)

This iteration of Nav eSports is a fusion of last season's Nav eSports and last season's Retards of the Carribean. Their narrow early season victory over Frantic Gaming has shown that they are at the least in contention to make playoffs this season if they can keep up the good work.

#15 Holy Ghost Baptism (4-0)

Although lacking any big names, they seem like a competent team so far. They've defeated the third iteration of two time playoff team Good Damage, but it's unclear how good Good Damage is, so I'm not sure how much that win means right now. They'll have a chance to prove themselves soon versus Midfright, and they should be favored to win the Holy War against Rex and the Rapture, so we'll have to check back in next week to see where they stand. As of now, they're a mystery.

#16 Team Frantic (3-2)

The Frantic Gaming roster has went 10-6 twice previously. Now, like many other old rosters, it's been revived for the last chapter of ESEA. Their first two matchups were down to the wire - a 5-4 loss and a 5-4 win, but their most recent match ended in a more decisive loss versus Yarn Legacy. With how competitive some of their matches have been, it's hard to make bets where they'll end up when season comes to a close.

Honorable Mentions:

Skyz Gaming (4-0)

Placing teams this early in the season is mostly speculation, but this team, under the banner of an old MW2 clan, recently triumphed over Big Guys With Small Dogs (a remake of the two time 9-7 Cumber Crew) so I'd argue they're at least on the bubble of playoffs.

Good Damage 3 Endgame (3-2)

Good Damage returns for the third and final act. The roster is very different from last season, but there are still some familiar faces. They started off rough last season and managed to make playoffs, so don't let their start make you think they're out of the conversation.

Goys r Us (3-1)

They have some good players, but they haven't had many chances to actually play since their first three matches ended up FFWs and their sole real match was against one of the top teams. We'll have to wait for more data.

Big Guys Small Dogs (0-4)

A mixup of players from Cumber Crew and Enjoy Freezing. Their 0-4 start looks bad, but they've had a tough first round to be fair. Their next few weeks should be a good chance for the delicate dog lovers to recover. Still, a 0-4 start means there's little room for error from here on out.

Riverside TF (1-3)

These Highlander players might not be off to a hot start at 1-3, but their sole win comes against a good team, and their losses are all to good or great teams, so they're worth keeping an eye on.
__________

On an unrelated note, fuck all these CS:GO teams. I want to actually play the goddamned league I paid to play in instead of collecting forfeits.

FWIW with us on Frantic we don't really scrim, just show up for matches, which is part of why it's hard to get a read on us. We played yarn on process which was our first time playing that map as this iteration of the team.

crayon eaters are actually just gods who can magically make our old medic drop by looking at him

edit: https://i.imgur.com/8tlmb02.png

his is just better

I'm here to ask for donations of Crayola crayons as on a nightly binge I ate them all.

http://puu.sh/DsHQL/8710c1ef79.jpg

As you can see from my graphic above, Crayons directly correlate to skill, and any donations are accepted in these trying times.

guys dont give him any crayons its a trap!1!!

if we scrim against crayon eaters and win can we get that loss back

me rn

https://i.imgur.com/2w4WBuU.png

wbacon saves the open thread v2