Heartbreaking. Condolences to her family, rest in peace.
RainofLight has passed away
posted in
TF2 General Discussion
It'll be this communities greatest failure for not giving lain the help she needed. Rest In Peace Lain, at least nobody can hurt you anymore.
It'll be this communities greatest failure for not giving lain the help she needed. Rest In Peace Lain, at least nobody can hurt you anymore.
Rest in peace I will forever miss your sniper play back in pugchamp era
Rest in peace I will forever miss your sniper play back in pugchamp era
Though in recent months we hadn’t really talked(due to reasons I’d rather not discuss here), Lain was one of the first people I met in this community. She was always a joy to play matches with and to just chat with in general. I’m going to miss her.
Though in recent months we hadn’t really talked(due to reasons I’d rather not discuss here), Lain was one of the first people I met in this community. She was always a joy to play matches with and to just chat with in general. I’m going to miss her.
I don’t mean to continue derailing this thread but especially when you’re writing text on a forum it’s really not that difficult to proofread and write in how she wants to be referred to as. Feels very disrespectful to her to not refer to her properly just because she said something a lot of trans people do to their pre-transition friends to avoid confrontation. Just be polite and refer to her by her preferred name and pronouns, it really isn’t difficult especially over text.
I don’t mean to continue derailing this thread but especially when you’re writing text on a forum it’s really not that difficult to proofread and write in how she wants to be referred to as. Feels very disrespectful to her to not refer to her properly just because she said something a lot of trans people do to their pre-transition friends to avoid confrontation. Just be polite and refer to her by her preferred name and pronouns, it really isn’t difficult especially over text.
sorry but I've been through enough trans friends dying to know the "close friend who swears she only uses he/him" is always just looking to start shit
sorry but I've been through enough trans friends dying to know the "close friend who swears she only uses he/him" is always just looking to start shit
I remember dicking around with them in pugs at 3am way back in 2017, I always remembered them having it rough but she was always good to me. rip
I remember dicking around with them in pugs at 3am way back in 2017, I always remembered them having it rough but she was always good to me. rip
Please look out for your loved ones, and remember to always choose kindness over hate. Heartbreaking to hear this.
May she rest in peace, and my thoughts are with her loved ones at this horrible time.
Please look out for your loved ones, and remember to always choose kindness over hate. Heartbreaking to hear this.
May she rest in peace, and my thoughts are with her loved ones at this horrible time.
May she rest in peace, and my thoughts are with her loved ones at this horrible time.
To share some more memories about lain, at least from the past few weeks of becoming closer friends with her, we played TF2, Fortnite, Overwatch and had a blast. It was so lovely to see her have fun and frag. She would hop in VC with us almost every night and even if we didn't play together, we'd chat about so much cool stuff like art, music, video game design, happenings in the world, and even about the universe itself. It was nice to see her be a bit happier, and smile or laugh from time to time. I really felt like things were looking up. We were even talking about her future plans on the day she left us, so it really came to me as sudden. Just a few hours and life was so fragile. I wish I could have supported her more, but I really feel like I did all I could. But it's so unfair that she lost her life, that I keep feeling that something must have been able to be done, that the universe wouldn't let this happen otherwise. And I'll keep thinking about that. But now, at the very least, I really do want to take the time to push for better community standards and protocols so we never, ever, ever have something like this again. It's what lain would have wanted in the end.
To share some more memories about lain, at least from the past few weeks of becoming closer friends with her, we played TF2, Fortnite, Overwatch and had a blast. It was so lovely to see her have fun and frag. She would hop in VC with us almost every night and even if we didn't play together, we'd chat about so much cool stuff like art, music, video game design, happenings in the world, and even about the universe itself. It was nice to see her be a bit happier, and smile or laugh from time to time. I really felt like things were looking up. We were even talking about her future plans on the day she left us, so it really came to me as sudden. Just a few hours and life was so fragile. I wish I could have supported her more, but I really feel like I did all I could. But it's so unfair that she lost her life, that I keep feeling that something must have been able to be done, that the universe wouldn't let this happen otherwise. And I'll keep thinking about that. But now, at the very least, I really do want to take the time to push for better community standards and protocols so we never, ever, ever have something like this again. It's what lain would have wanted in the end.
Rest in peace, ROL. I always appreciated how she would drop by the chat and stay for hours, often being the only one engaging, yet she remained. She'll be missed.
Rest in peace, ROL. I always appreciated how she would drop by the chat and stay for hours, often being the only one engaging, yet she remained. She'll be missed.
I just wish that you could have gotten the help and support you needed to escape from your personal demons. I wish maybe I could have stayed with you more when you reached out to me just to play tf2 or keep you company. I was in a voice chat with you and others when Ire died from a car cash months ago, and you're gone now as well. You won't get to experience what it's like to be in your 20's when you had a full life ahead of you beyond tf2 and those shitters with fragile ego's that get off on being good at video games, bullying harassing you . You got into art and music and it seemed like you were distancing yourself the game and discovering your identity, Rest In Peace In Lain.
I just wish that you could have gotten the help and support you needed to escape from your personal demons. I wish maybe I could have stayed with you more when you reached out to me just to play tf2 or keep you company. I was in a voice chat with you and others when Ire died from a car cash months ago, and you're gone now as well. You won't get to experience what it's like to be in your 20's when you had a full life ahead of you beyond tf2 and those shitters with fragile ego's that get off on being good at video games, bullying harassing you . You got into art and music and it seemed like you were distancing yourself the game and discovering your identity, Rest In Peace In Lain.
Man, RIP to a true mainstay of this community. I've been out of it for a while so I didn't realize she was suffering so badly. It really makes you go back in your mind and ask yourself 'was I kind enough to this person'? But that can be a dangerous path to go down too.
I just hope that everyone here who did try their best to support her near the end doesn't have survivor's guilt, from even a cursory glance at this thread it seems like a lot of you really did try. Mental illness is messy, and it sounds like her home life was very difficult as well.
Hug your loved ones today, I suppose.
Man, RIP to a true mainstay of this community. I've been out of it for a while so I didn't realize she was suffering so badly. It really makes you go back in your mind and ask yourself 'was I kind enough to this person'? But that can be a dangerous path to go down too.
I just hope that everyone here who did try their best to support her near the end doesn't have survivor's guilt, from even a cursory glance at this thread it seems like a lot of you really did try. Mental illness is messy, and it sounds like her home life was very difficult as well.
Hug your loved ones today, I suppose.
I just hope that everyone here who did try their best to support her near the end doesn't have survivor's guilt, from even a cursory glance at this thread it seems like a lot of you really did try. Mental illness is messy, and it sounds like her home life was very difficult as well.
Hug your loved ones today, I suppose.
This cuts deep, I knew lain well despite a short time spent with her. She was the captain and leader of the Portland burnsiders for the fullerton lan. It was during the scrims leading up to the event that I learned a key point in their character. I made a joke calling some player a "schizo" Lain took offence and said "I don't want you to joke about that, I am a schizophrenic and you have no idea how debilitating that condition is." It was direct and clear, I did not make those jokes in front of lain again because there was clear evidence that she was an odd duck and had mental difficulties. When we finally met at lan Lain was passive and cordial, never overly expressive and never took too much space up. There was a party with myself avoidjoker, Dolphin, Hidie (definitely spelt your name wrong) , Cerby and Lain in my hotel room. We drank and shared our war stories, each of us were taking small shots of the giant ass cosco vodka cerby brought, but Lain took a red solo cup and filled it to the brim. I said to lain "that is way too much your gonna die" and with a completely expressionless face and with full confidence lain said "what do you mean? this is a normal amount." she was determined to finish that cup like a true decedent of Mr.Lahey. She did not, she got halfway through and was already lying on the ground LMFAO. Lucky for them the hotel she stayed at was about 50ft away so when the night was over we brought them back to the hotel. Next day we played the tournament, Lain clearly stated in the scrims "we are totally good enough to get not last place" and that gave me huge confidence. We played that tournament and lost some matches and won others that were so close, real roller coaster matches. They were some of the most fun and exciting matches I had ever played. It was especially cathartic when we beat fired-up gaming in a match that was over an hour 3-2, when for the 6th time lain called for a 6 man hide in the corner of dungeon on sunshine last worked finally. It is this event how I will remember Lain, they were legitimately happy to be there and competing. After the lan Lain would regularly message me to pug (which I would either ghost or say no in dm's cause I only pug rarely). I see it as a call to what friendship we did have, Lain always saw me as a friend. Lain would always message me to pug, I even tried them out for a regular season team but it wouldn't work out. After the fullerton lan Lains mental health would take a turn for the worst and decline aggressively, I knew exactly what was happening. Lain would go to twitter and express her sorrows for being abandoned by tf2 players and would hold a false grudge against many invite players. It is difficult and sometimes impossible for people with schizophrenia to comprehend what is and isn't reality. Those who suffer depression and ruminate regularly to the point of convincing themselves of things that aren't true can see that struggle within themselves like I can. But schizophrenia is much more severe and I would not wish that on anyone. Lain told me that they were a big time stoner, I am also a big time stoner. But I have a different brain and Lain unfortunately had a brain with much more CB1 cannabis receptors (possibly 200% more). I may be injecting false narratives into the conversation because I am greatly under-qualified to say these things, but lain should have quit smoking weed years ago and made an attempt at getting themselves to a higher baseline of dopamine and serotonin. Loneliness, stimulants and mental disorders do not mix well and these last couple of years have been a roller-coaster for her mind. I wish I gave them a hug when I saw them in person last. I wish she cared about herself enough to try and make herself better because there might of been something deeply creative that needed to express itself. I wish I had told them the truth when I turned down the pug offerings so that she would not take it in a negative light. I wish people had more empathy to understand the absolute depths of sorrow that she was undergoing during her last months and that her desperate calls for help were not surface level insane ramblings but the sad moans of a wounded animal trapped and unable to escape. I envy people who are simple enough to comply with short term logic and surface level psychology. I envy the people who are dumb enough to come up with a short term conclusion to what type of pain Lain was going through. I envy people who have never had to face the depths of hell that is betrayal and being ostracized. I envy those who thought that the short term gratitude of being "funny" around others and making fun of someone else was good enough so that you can sleep with yourself. I lost another friend this week named Charlie, he was a co-worker and roofer. He would drink 3 beers on the job in the afternoon, him and the crew would always ask me to drive them to the Liquor store during lunch. He was a competent worker and a hardened man who was capable of dealing with hardships. He fell 40ft and hit the ground while he was gluing the edge of a flat roof on the scaffolding. He was not tied off, and he died while being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. He was overconfident in his abilities. Life is cruel and many philosopher's say that life and existence itself is a form of suffering. For those of us that survive we can either let the despair consume us and waste our time ruminating on the negativity, or we see the beauty of existence and take the hardships that we face as a lesson and remember them. I will remember Lain as they were at Fullerton lan, good time and cordial person. Rest in peace RainofLight may god bring peace to your soul and to your family.
This cuts deep, I knew lain well despite a short time spent with her. She was the captain and leader of the Portland burnsiders for the fullerton lan. It was during the scrims leading up to the event that I learned a key point in their character. I made a joke calling some player a "schizo" Lain took offence and said "I don't want you to joke about that, I am a schizophrenic and you have no idea how debilitating that condition is." It was direct and clear, I did not make those jokes in front of lain again because there was clear evidence that she was an odd duck and had mental difficulties. When we finally met at lan Lain was passive and cordial, never overly expressive and never took too much space up. There was a party with myself avoidjoker, Dolphin, Hidie (definitely spelt your name wrong) , Cerby and Lain in my hotel room. We drank and shared our war stories, each of us were taking small shots of the giant ass cosco vodka cerby brought, but Lain took a red solo cup and filled it to the brim. I said to lain "that is way too much your gonna die" and with a completely expressionless face and with full confidence lain said "what do you mean? this is a normal amount." she was determined to finish that cup like a true decedent of Mr.Lahey. She did not, she got halfway through and was already lying on the ground LMFAO. Lucky for them the hotel she stayed at was about 50ft away so when the night was over we brought them back to the hotel. Next day we played the tournament, Lain clearly stated in the scrims "we are totally good enough to get not last place" and that gave me huge confidence. We played that tournament and lost some matches and won others that were so close, real roller coaster matches. They were some of the most fun and exciting matches I had ever played. It was especially cathartic when we beat fired-up gaming in a match that was over an hour 3-2, when for the 6th time lain called for a 6 man hide in the corner of dungeon on sunshine last worked finally. It is this event how I will remember Lain, they were legitimately happy to be there and competing. After the lan Lain would regularly message me to pug (which I would either ghost or say no in dm's cause I only pug rarely). I see it as a call to what friendship we did have, Lain always saw me as a friend. Lain would always message me to pug, I even tried them out for a regular season team but it wouldn't work out. After the fullerton lan Lains mental health would take a turn for the worst and decline aggressively, I knew exactly what was happening. Lain would go to twitter and express her sorrows for being abandoned by tf2 players and would hold a false grudge against many invite players. It is difficult and sometimes impossible for people with schizophrenia to comprehend what is and isn't reality. Those who suffer depression and ruminate regularly to the point of convincing themselves of things that aren't true can see that struggle within themselves like I can. But schizophrenia is much more severe and I would not wish that on anyone. Lain told me that they were a big time stoner, I am also a big time stoner. But I have a different brain and Lain unfortunately had a brain with much more CB1 cannabis receptors (possibly 200% more). I may be injecting false narratives into the conversation because I am greatly under-qualified to say these things, but lain should have quit smoking weed years ago and made an attempt at getting themselves to a higher baseline of dopamine and serotonin. Loneliness, stimulants and mental disorders do not mix well and these last couple of years have been a roller-coaster for her mind. I wish I gave them a hug when I saw them in person last. I wish she cared about herself enough to try and make herself better because there might of been something deeply creative that needed to express itself. I wish I had told them the truth when I turned down the pug offerings so that she would not take it in a negative light. I wish people had more empathy to understand the absolute depths of sorrow that she was undergoing during her last months and that her desperate calls for help were not surface level insane ramblings but the sad moans of a wounded animal trapped and unable to escape. I envy people who are simple enough to comply with short term logic and surface level psychology. I envy the people who are dumb enough to come up with a short term conclusion to what type of pain Lain was going through. I envy people who have never had to face the depths of hell that is betrayal and being ostracized. I envy those who thought that the short term gratitude of being "funny" around others and making fun of someone else was good enough so that you can sleep with yourself. I lost another friend this week named Charlie, he was a co-worker and roofer. He would drink 3 beers on the job in the afternoon, him and the crew would always ask me to drive them to the Liquor store during lunch. He was a competent worker and a hardened man who was capable of dealing with hardships. He fell 40ft and hit the ground while he was gluing the edge of a flat roof on the scaffolding. He was not tied off, and he died while being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. He was overconfident in his abilities. Life is cruel and many philosopher's say that life and existence itself is a form of suffering. For those of us that survive we can either let the despair consume us and waste our time ruminating on the negativity, or we see the beauty of existence and take the hardships that we face as a lesson and remember them. I will remember Lain as they were at Fullerton lan, good time and cordial person. Rest in peace RainofLight may god bring peace to your soul and to your family.
Just learned about this during a pug and didn't know the full story of the situation, upsetting to see this happen . RIP ROL
Just learned about this during a pug and didn't know the full story of the situation, upsetting to see this happen . RIP ROL
I'm sorry we could never play that game together, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to say goodbye to you. Maybe in the afterlife we can play again.
R.I.P Lain, goodbye.
I'm sorry we could never play that game together, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to say goodbye to you. Maybe in the afterlife we can play again.
R.I.P Lain, goodbye.
R.I.P Lain, goodbye.
Hi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight.
Not a TF2 player myself, but I used to play a lot of Counter-Strike: Source, GO, and CS:2. I struggle with symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome (with chronic pain), so I'm not online gaming as much as I used to be as I ration my energy and struggle with taking care of day to day activities sometimes (lots of naps after work). Like many other people, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, though I try to manage the best that I can.
I got in touch with Aeryn through Steam (thank you to her for the kind words on Lain's obituary page) tonight, and I wanted to say thank you to those who shared experiences and kind words here.
Mental illness is a tough, sometimes invisible battle, that comes in many forms, both permanent and temporary. Whether it's depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, addiction of any type, or anything else, even the grief after a breakup or loss of a loved one - it's something that many of us human beings struggle with at some point in our lives.
I understand that some people online many not have been exactly kind to Lain, and in some way I will say this is understandable as Lain may not have been kind to everyone she met either. She wasn't always kind to me either, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her.
Lain began struggling with schizophrenia symptoms around a decade ago, and had since fought a long battle with it. Schizophrenia can manifest in several forms and of varying severity, but the TL;DR version of Lain's symptoms were auditory hallucinations and paranoid and grandiose delusions (delusions of being persecuted, belief that the person experiencing symptoms is famous or respected by people who don't know them, etc.) This can sometimes include a belief that a person or group is harming or harassing the person experiencing this, or that a person or group have negative (or sometimes positive) ideas about them that don't reflect reality. Lain was also affected by borderline personality disorder, which often caused large mood swings and impulsive behavior (money spending, risky decision making).
Lain lived with my parents and was cared for by them. I live not too far away, and would try to visit when I could, but I work in a stressful IT job and had distanced from my own family some in recent months, because I was facing my own financial burdens and extreme stress. Lain would sometimes get into arguments with my parents with words said that weren't very nice, and I was often pulled in to mediate. With my own stress / medical problems, I just couldn't handle it anymore - it didn't mean I didn't care, I just couldn't take care of myself.
For a while, multiple years, actually, Lain's symptoms were relatively in control - but within the last 12-24 months or so did we see a regression, which came after some medication switch ups due to dyskinesia, which Lain thought was being caused by her medication. I also suffer from dyskinesia (mostly tics and muscle tremors in my limbs/hands/feet), and thought this might be hereditary, but was unable to convince her to try the old medication again. I am aware that she told some people about the dyskinesia, and may have referred to it as parkinsons online - not quite the situation, but similar.
I am aware of some stories and accusations that have been spread from/about Lain and for some of these, if unwarranted, I apologize. I am not going to get into it in detail, but sometimes she would have bad interactions between substances and her medications / mental illness, and sometimes bad days with the mental illness itself - ... regardless, I will say - if Lain ever hurt or wronged anyone who didn't feel they deserved it, please know that she was mightily struggling. It is hard to imagine almost every hour of your life being bombarded with overlapping voices in your ear, saying the craziest things imaginable, believing that you are being spied on or conspired against by people who love you, and etc.
...I hope this information can help some of those who misunderstood Lain, or help those who may be struggling as well, with themselves, a friend, or a family member. Please treat them with care and try your best to remember their good moments.
People can be mean to each other. My own life motto is to always be nice to others and never try to take my pain out on someone else. Everyone is fighting their own battles, big or small, and none can really be compared to someone else's.
My parents and I are doing the best we can right now. I wish that I could help my parents financially, as they are struggling with medical debt from multiple ambulance / hospital stays, past impulse spending (on their credit cards) and paying for arrangements. I am doing my best to be there for them emotionally, even if I am unable to help with their expenses, and we are all taking things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time right now.
In closing, I hope this message found you all well, and thank you to those who shared kind words, stories, and memories. In case any of you are struggling as well, please reach out to someone. I know personally what it is like to close off from people, be it friends, or family, or feel like you aren't doing well enough.
And most of all, please be excellent to each other and party on.
Hi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight.
Not a TF2 player myself, but I used to play a lot of Counter-Strike: Source, GO, and CS:2. I struggle with symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome (with chronic pain), so I'm not online gaming as much as I used to be as I ration my energy and struggle with taking care of day to day activities sometimes (lots of naps after work). Like many other people, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, though I try to manage the best that I can.
I got in touch with Aeryn through Steam (thank you to her for the kind words on Lain's obituary page) tonight, and I wanted to say thank you to those who shared experiences and kind words here.
Mental illness is a tough, sometimes invisible battle, that comes in many forms, both permanent and temporary. Whether it's depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, addiction of any type, or anything else, even the grief after a breakup or loss of a loved one - it's something that many of us human beings struggle with at some point in our lives.
I understand that some people online many not have been exactly kind to Lain, and in some way I will say this is understandable as Lain may not have been kind to everyone she met either. She wasn't [i]always[/i] kind to me either, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her.
Lain began struggling with schizophrenia symptoms around a decade ago, and had since fought a long battle with it. Schizophrenia can manifest in several forms and of varying severity, but the TL;DR version of Lain's symptoms were auditory hallucinations and paranoid and grandiose delusions (delusions of being persecuted, belief that the person experiencing symptoms is famous or respected by people who don't know them, etc.) This can sometimes include a belief that a person or group is harming or harassing the person experiencing this, or that a person or group have negative (or sometimes positive) ideas about them that don't reflect reality. Lain was also affected by borderline personality disorder, which often caused large mood swings and impulsive behavior (money spending, risky decision making).
Lain lived with my parents and was cared for by them. I live not [i]too[/i] far away, and would try to visit when I could, but I work in a stressful IT job and had distanced from my own family some in recent months, because I was facing my own financial burdens and extreme stress. Lain would sometimes get into arguments with my parents with words said that weren't very nice, and I was often pulled in to mediate. With my own stress / medical problems, I just couldn't handle it anymore - it didn't mean I didn't care, I just couldn't take care of myself.
For a while, multiple years, actually, Lain's symptoms were relatively in control - but within the last 12-24 months or so did we see a regression, which came after some medication switch ups due to dyskinesia, which Lain thought was being caused by her medication. I also suffer from dyskinesia (mostly tics and muscle tremors in my limbs/hands/feet), and thought this might be hereditary, but was unable to convince her to try the old medication again. I am aware that she told some people about the dyskinesia, and may have referred to it as parkinsons online - not quite the situation, but similar.
I am aware of some stories and accusations that have been spread from/about Lain and for some of these, if unwarranted, I apologize. I am not going to get into it in detail, but sometimes she would have bad interactions between substances and her medications / mental illness, and sometimes bad days with the mental illness itself - ... regardless, I will say - if Lain ever hurt or wronged anyone who didn't feel they deserved it, please know that she was mightily struggling. It is hard to imagine almost every hour of your life being bombarded with overlapping voices in your ear, saying the craziest things imaginable, believing that you are being spied on or conspired against by people who love you, and etc.
...I hope this information can help some of those who misunderstood Lain, or help those who may be struggling as well, with themselves, a friend, or a family member. Please treat them with care and try your best to remember their good moments.
People can be mean to each other. My own life motto is to always be nice to others and never try to take my pain out on someone else. Everyone is fighting their own battles, big or small, and none can really be compared to someone else's.
My parents and I are doing the best we can right now. I wish that I could help my parents financially, as they are struggling with medical debt from multiple ambulance / hospital stays, past impulse spending (on their credit cards) and paying for arrangements. I am doing my best to be there for them emotionally, even if I am unable to help with their expenses, and we are all taking things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time right now.
In closing, I hope this message found you [b]all[/b] well, and thank you to those who shared kind words, stories, and memories. In case any of you are struggling as well, please reach out to someone. I know personally what it is like to close off from people, be it friends, or family, or feel like you aren't doing well enough.
And most of all, please be excellent to each other and party on.
[img]https://i.imgur.com/FhUY6aS.jpeg[/img]
Not a TF2 player myself, but I used to play a lot of Counter-Strike: Source, GO, and CS:2. I struggle with symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome (with chronic pain), so I'm not online gaming as much as I used to be as I ration my energy and struggle with taking care of day to day activities sometimes (lots of naps after work). Like many other people, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, though I try to manage the best that I can.
I got in touch with Aeryn through Steam (thank you to her for the kind words on Lain's obituary page) tonight, and I wanted to say thank you to those who shared experiences and kind words here.
Mental illness is a tough, sometimes invisible battle, that comes in many forms, both permanent and temporary. Whether it's depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, addiction of any type, or anything else, even the grief after a breakup or loss of a loved one - it's something that many of us human beings struggle with at some point in our lives.
I understand that some people online many not have been exactly kind to Lain, and in some way I will say this is understandable as Lain may not have been kind to everyone she met either. She wasn't [i]always[/i] kind to me either, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her.
Lain began struggling with schizophrenia symptoms around a decade ago, and had since fought a long battle with it. Schizophrenia can manifest in several forms and of varying severity, but the TL;DR version of Lain's symptoms were auditory hallucinations and paranoid and grandiose delusions (delusions of being persecuted, belief that the person experiencing symptoms is famous or respected by people who don't know them, etc.) This can sometimes include a belief that a person or group is harming or harassing the person experiencing this, or that a person or group have negative (or sometimes positive) ideas about them that don't reflect reality. Lain was also affected by borderline personality disorder, which often caused large mood swings and impulsive behavior (money spending, risky decision making).
Lain lived with my parents and was cared for by them. I live not [i]too[/i] far away, and would try to visit when I could, but I work in a stressful IT job and had distanced from my own family some in recent months, because I was facing my own financial burdens and extreme stress. Lain would sometimes get into arguments with my parents with words said that weren't very nice, and I was often pulled in to mediate. With my own stress / medical problems, I just couldn't handle it anymore - it didn't mean I didn't care, I just couldn't take care of myself.
For a while, multiple years, actually, Lain's symptoms were relatively in control - but within the last 12-24 months or so did we see a regression, which came after some medication switch ups due to dyskinesia, which Lain thought was being caused by her medication. I also suffer from dyskinesia (mostly tics and muscle tremors in my limbs/hands/feet), and thought this might be hereditary, but was unable to convince her to try the old medication again. I am aware that she told some people about the dyskinesia, and may have referred to it as parkinsons online - not quite the situation, but similar.
I am aware of some stories and accusations that have been spread from/about Lain and for some of these, if unwarranted, I apologize. I am not going to get into it in detail, but sometimes she would have bad interactions between substances and her medications / mental illness, and sometimes bad days with the mental illness itself - ... regardless, I will say - if Lain ever hurt or wronged anyone who didn't feel they deserved it, please know that she was mightily struggling. It is hard to imagine almost every hour of your life being bombarded with overlapping voices in your ear, saying the craziest things imaginable, believing that you are being spied on or conspired against by people who love you, and etc.
...I hope this information can help some of those who misunderstood Lain, or help those who may be struggling as well, with themselves, a friend, or a family member. Please treat them with care and try your best to remember their good moments.
People can be mean to each other. My own life motto is to always be nice to others and never try to take my pain out on someone else. Everyone is fighting their own battles, big or small, and none can really be compared to someone else's.
My parents and I are doing the best we can right now. I wish that I could help my parents financially, as they are struggling with medical debt from multiple ambulance / hospital stays, past impulse spending (on their credit cards) and paying for arrangements. I am doing my best to be there for them emotionally, even if I am unable to help with their expenses, and we are all taking things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time right now.
In closing, I hope this message found you [b]all[/b] well, and thank you to those who shared kind words, stories, and memories. In case any of you are struggling as well, please reach out to someone. I know personally what it is like to close off from people, be it friends, or family, or feel like you aren't doing well enough.
And most of all, please be excellent to each other and party on.
[img]https://i.imgur.com/FhUY6aS.jpeg[/img]
The first time I met Lain was when I went to my first lan, and that will forever have a place in my heart. We didn't win a single time, but throughout it all we tried our best and had a blast. We both even got featured in Beater's vid despite not winning once. When talking to Lain at lan, she was a very calm yet cool person to talk to, we talked a ton about tf2 and other stuff. I kept in touch with Lain throughout the years and we had some good memories in vc that I will cherish, pugs and all. My favorite moment was when we talked about music and anime till like 7 in the morning, probably one of the best talks I've ever had with a person. When I first heard the news it left me in shock and in a way I still am. I'll miss you forever. Fly high Lain.
The first time I met Lain was when I went to my first lan, and that will forever have a place in my heart. We didn't win a single time, but throughout it all we tried our best and had a blast. We both even got featured in Beater's vid despite not winning once. When talking to Lain at lan, she was a very calm yet cool person to talk to, we talked a ton about tf2 and other stuff. I kept in touch with Lain throughout the years and we had some good memories in vc that I will cherish, pugs and all. My favorite moment was when we talked about music and anime till like 7 in the morning, probably one of the best talks I've ever had with a person. When I first heard the news it left me in shock and in a way I still am. I'll miss you forever. Fly high Lain.
TheVillageIdiotHi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight.
Not a TF2 player myself, but I used to play a lot of Counter-Strike: Source, GO, and CS:2. I struggle with symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome (with chronic pain), so I'm not online gaming as much as I used to be as I ration my energy and struggle with taking care of day to day activities sometimes (lots of naps after work). Like many other people, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, though I try to manage the best that I can.
I got in touch with Aeryn through Steam (thank you to her for the kind words on Lain's obituary page) tonight, and I wanted to say thank you to those who shared experiences and kind words here.
Mental illness is a tough, sometimes invisible battle, that comes in many forms, both permanent and temporary. Whether it's depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, addiction of any type, or anything else, even the grief after a breakup or loss of a loved one - it's something that many of us human beings struggle with at some point in our lives.
I understand that some people online many not have been exactly kind to Lain, and in some way I will say this is understandable as Lain may not have been kind to everyone she met either. She wasn't always kind to me either, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her.
Lain began struggling with schizophrenia symptoms around a decade ago, and had since fought a long battle with it. Schizophrenia can manifest in several forms and of varying severity, but the TL;DR version of Lain's symptoms were auditory hallucinations and paranoid and grandiose delusions (delusions of being persecuted, belief that the person experiencing symptoms is famous or respected by people who don't know them, etc.) This can sometimes include a belief that a person or group is harming or harassing the person experiencing this, or that a person or group have negative (or sometimes positive) ideas about them that don't reflect reality. Lain was also affected by borderline personality disorder, which often caused large mood swings and impulsive behavior (money spending, risky decision making).
Lain lived with my parents and was cared for by them. I live not too far away, and would try to visit when I could, but I work in a stressful IT job and had distanced from my own family some in recent months, because I was facing my own financial burdens and extreme stress. Lain would sometimes get into arguments with my parents with words said that weren't very nice, and I was often pulled in to mediate. With my own stress / medical problems, I just couldn't handle it anymore - it didn't mean I didn't care, I just couldn't take care of myself.
For a while, multiple years, actually, Lain's symptoms were relatively in control - but within the last 12-24 months or so did we see a regression, which came after some medication switch ups due to dyskinesia, which Lain thought was being caused by her medication. I also suffer from dyskinesia (mostly tics and muscle tremors in my limbs/hands/feet), and thought this might be hereditary, but was unable to convince her to try the old medication again. I am aware that she told some people about the dyskinesia, and may have referred to it as parkinsons online - not quite the situation, but similar.
I am aware of some stories and accusations that have been spread from/about Lain and for some of these, if unwarranted, I apologize. I am not going to get into it in detail, but sometimes she would have bad interactions between substances and her medications / mental illness, and sometimes bad days with the mental illness itself - ... regardless, I will say - if Lain ever hurt or wronged anyone who didn't feel they deserved it, please know that she was mightily struggling. It is hard to imagine almost every hour of your life being bombarded with overlapping voices in your ear, saying the craziest things imaginable, believing that you are being spied on or conspired against by people who love you, and etc.
...I hope this information can help some of those who misunderstood Lain, or help those who may be struggling as well, with themselves, a friend, or a family member. Please treat them with care and try your best to remember their good moments.
People can be mean to each other. My own life motto is to always be nice to others and never try to take my pain out on someone else. Everyone is fighting their own battles, big or small, and none can really be compared to someone else's.
My parents and I are doing the best we can right now. I wish that I could help my parents financially, as they are struggling with medical debt from multiple ambulance / hospital stays, past impulse spending (on their credit cards) and paying for arrangements. I am doing my best to be there for them emotionally, even if I am unable to help with their expenses, and we are all taking things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time right now.
In closing, I hope this message found you all well, and thank you to those who shared kind words, stories, and memories. In case any of you are struggling as well, please reach out to someone. I know personally what it is like to close off from people, be it friends, or family, or feel like you aren't doing well enough.
And most of all, please be excellent to each other and party on.
https://i.imgur.com/FhUY6aS.jpeg
Hey Sammy, I don’t know if this is something you’d feel comfortable with but I’d be happy to donate the little I can to help out your family.
[quote=TheVillageIdiot]Hi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight.
Not a TF2 player myself, but I used to play a lot of Counter-Strike: Source, GO, and CS:2. I struggle with symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome (with chronic pain), so I'm not online gaming as much as I used to be as I ration my energy and struggle with taking care of day to day activities sometimes (lots of naps after work). Like many other people, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, though I try to manage the best that I can.
I got in touch with Aeryn through Steam (thank you to her for the kind words on Lain's obituary page) tonight, and I wanted to say thank you to those who shared experiences and kind words here.
Mental illness is a tough, sometimes invisible battle, that comes in many forms, both permanent and temporary. Whether it's depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, addiction of any type, or anything else, even the grief after a breakup or loss of a loved one - it's something that many of us human beings struggle with at some point in our lives.
I understand that some people online many not have been exactly kind to Lain, and in some way I will say this is understandable as Lain may not have been kind to everyone she met either. She wasn't [i]always[/i] kind to me either, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her.
Lain began struggling with schizophrenia symptoms around a decade ago, and had since fought a long battle with it. Schizophrenia can manifest in several forms and of varying severity, but the TL;DR version of Lain's symptoms were auditory hallucinations and paranoid and grandiose delusions (delusions of being persecuted, belief that the person experiencing symptoms is famous or respected by people who don't know them, etc.) This can sometimes include a belief that a person or group is harming or harassing the person experiencing this, or that a person or group have negative (or sometimes positive) ideas about them that don't reflect reality. Lain was also affected by borderline personality disorder, which often caused large mood swings and impulsive behavior (money spending, risky decision making).
Lain lived with my parents and was cared for by them. I live not [i]too[/i] far away, and would try to visit when I could, but I work in a stressful IT job and had distanced from my own family some in recent months, because I was facing my own financial burdens and extreme stress. Lain would sometimes get into arguments with my parents with words said that weren't very nice, and I was often pulled in to mediate. With my own stress / medical problems, I just couldn't handle it anymore - it didn't mean I didn't care, I just couldn't take care of myself.
For a while, multiple years, actually, Lain's symptoms were relatively in control - but within the last 12-24 months or so did we see a regression, which came after some medication switch ups due to dyskinesia, which Lain thought was being caused by her medication. I also suffer from dyskinesia (mostly tics and muscle tremors in my limbs/hands/feet), and thought this might be hereditary, but was unable to convince her to try the old medication again. I am aware that she told some people about the dyskinesia, and may have referred to it as parkinsons online - not quite the situation, but similar.
I am aware of some stories and accusations that have been spread from/about Lain and for some of these, if unwarranted, I apologize. I am not going to get into it in detail, but sometimes she would have bad interactions between substances and her medications / mental illness, and sometimes bad days with the mental illness itself - ... regardless, I will say - if Lain ever hurt or wronged anyone who didn't feel they deserved it, please know that she was mightily struggling. It is hard to imagine almost every hour of your life being bombarded with overlapping voices in your ear, saying the craziest things imaginable, believing that you are being spied on or conspired against by people who love you, and etc.
...I hope this information can help some of those who misunderstood Lain, or help those who may be struggling as well, with themselves, a friend, or a family member. Please treat them with care and try your best to remember their good moments.
People can be mean to each other. My own life motto is to always be nice to others and never try to take my pain out on someone else. Everyone is fighting their own battles, big or small, and none can really be compared to someone else's.
My parents and I are doing the best we can right now. I wish that I could help my parents financially, as they are struggling with medical debt from multiple ambulance / hospital stays, past impulse spending (on their credit cards) and paying for arrangements. I am doing my best to be there for them emotionally, even if I am unable to help with their expenses, and we are all taking things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time right now.
In closing, I hope this message found you [b]all[/b] well, and thank you to those who shared kind words, stories, and memories. In case any of you are struggling as well, please reach out to someone. I know personally what it is like to close off from people, be it friends, or family, or feel like you aren't doing well enough.
And most of all, please be excellent to each other and party on.
[img]https://i.imgur.com/FhUY6aS.jpeg[/img][/quote]
Hey Sammy, I don’t know if this is something you’d feel comfortable with but I’d be happy to donate the little I can to help out your family.
Not a TF2 player myself, but I used to play a lot of Counter-Strike: Source, GO, and CS:2. I struggle with symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome (with chronic pain), so I'm not online gaming as much as I used to be as I ration my energy and struggle with taking care of day to day activities sometimes (lots of naps after work). Like many other people, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, though I try to manage the best that I can.
I got in touch with Aeryn through Steam (thank you to her for the kind words on Lain's obituary page) tonight, and I wanted to say thank you to those who shared experiences and kind words here.
Mental illness is a tough, sometimes invisible battle, that comes in many forms, both permanent and temporary. Whether it's depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, addiction of any type, or anything else, even the grief after a breakup or loss of a loved one - it's something that many of us human beings struggle with at some point in our lives.
I understand that some people online many not have been exactly kind to Lain, and in some way I will say this is understandable as Lain may not have been kind to everyone she met either. She wasn't [i]always[/i] kind to me either, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her.
Lain began struggling with schizophrenia symptoms around a decade ago, and had since fought a long battle with it. Schizophrenia can manifest in several forms and of varying severity, but the TL;DR version of Lain's symptoms were auditory hallucinations and paranoid and grandiose delusions (delusions of being persecuted, belief that the person experiencing symptoms is famous or respected by people who don't know them, etc.) This can sometimes include a belief that a person or group is harming or harassing the person experiencing this, or that a person or group have negative (or sometimes positive) ideas about them that don't reflect reality. Lain was also affected by borderline personality disorder, which often caused large mood swings and impulsive behavior (money spending, risky decision making).
Lain lived with my parents and was cared for by them. I live not [i]too[/i] far away, and would try to visit when I could, but I work in a stressful IT job and had distanced from my own family some in recent months, because I was facing my own financial burdens and extreme stress. Lain would sometimes get into arguments with my parents with words said that weren't very nice, and I was often pulled in to mediate. With my own stress / medical problems, I just couldn't handle it anymore - it didn't mean I didn't care, I just couldn't take care of myself.
For a while, multiple years, actually, Lain's symptoms were relatively in control - but within the last 12-24 months or so did we see a regression, which came after some medication switch ups due to dyskinesia, which Lain thought was being caused by her medication. I also suffer from dyskinesia (mostly tics and muscle tremors in my limbs/hands/feet), and thought this might be hereditary, but was unable to convince her to try the old medication again. I am aware that she told some people about the dyskinesia, and may have referred to it as parkinsons online - not quite the situation, but similar.
I am aware of some stories and accusations that have been spread from/about Lain and for some of these, if unwarranted, I apologize. I am not going to get into it in detail, but sometimes she would have bad interactions between substances and her medications / mental illness, and sometimes bad days with the mental illness itself - ... regardless, I will say - if Lain ever hurt or wronged anyone who didn't feel they deserved it, please know that she was mightily struggling. It is hard to imagine almost every hour of your life being bombarded with overlapping voices in your ear, saying the craziest things imaginable, believing that you are being spied on or conspired against by people who love you, and etc.
...I hope this information can help some of those who misunderstood Lain, or help those who may be struggling as well, with themselves, a friend, or a family member. Please treat them with care and try your best to remember their good moments.
People can be mean to each other. My own life motto is to always be nice to others and never try to take my pain out on someone else. Everyone is fighting their own battles, big or small, and none can really be compared to someone else's.
My parents and I are doing the best we can right now. I wish that I could help my parents financially, as they are struggling with medical debt from multiple ambulance / hospital stays, past impulse spending (on their credit cards) and paying for arrangements. I am doing my best to be there for them emotionally, even if I am unable to help with their expenses, and we are all taking things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time right now.
In closing, I hope this message found you [b]all[/b] well, and thank you to those who shared kind words, stories, and memories. In case any of you are struggling as well, please reach out to someone. I know personally what it is like to close off from people, be it friends, or family, or feel like you aren't doing well enough.
And most of all, please be excellent to each other and party on.
[img]https://i.imgur.com/FhUY6aS.jpeg[/img][/quote]
Hey Sammy, I don’t know if this is something you’d feel comfortable with but I’d be happy to donate the little I can to help out your family.
Heartbroken.
My condolences to her family and all her friends.
Lain/Rain was a longtime Burnsider and close friend. Before we were teammates I admired her skill and tenacity. I had the pleasure of playing a season with her in 2020 and she lead the Burnsiders team at DreamHack Atlanta. I wish we could have hung out more at that event but I'm grateful for the time we got together in person. She was very open with the difficulties in her life and this is a tragic end to her story.
Through her passion for esports, art and music she brought light to the world.
It's darker without her, I'll grieve her forever.
I want to thank everyone reading this who offered her help and assistance. Do not blame yourself. I know many of us were rebuked at some point and some of us lashed out at, which speaks to the difficulties confronting her. It's not our fault.
There are so many talented individuals in this community, and esports in general, but there are also people facing severe obstacles in life. Please take care of yourselves. Please help others. Please seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed in life.
"RainofLight / she's gonna snipe"... ...
Rest in peace Queen.
Heartbroken.
My condolences to her family and all her friends.
Lain/Rain was a longtime Burnsider and close friend. Before we were teammates I admired her skill and tenacity. I had the pleasure of playing a season with her in 2020 and she lead the Burnsiders team at DreamHack Atlanta. I wish we could have hung out more at that event but I'm grateful for the time we got together in person. She was very open with the difficulties in her life and this is a tragic end to her story.
Through her passion for esports, art and music she brought light to the world.
It's darker without her, I'll grieve her forever.
I want to thank everyone reading this who offered her help and assistance. Do not blame yourself. I know many of us were rebuked at some point and some of us lashed out at, which speaks to the difficulties confronting her. It's not our fault.
There are so many talented individuals in this community, and esports in general, but there are also people facing severe obstacles in life. Please take care of yourselves. Please help others. Please seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed in life.
"RainofLight / she's gonna snipe"... ...
Rest in peace Queen.
My condolences to her family and all her friends.
Lain/Rain was a longtime Burnsider and close friend. Before we were teammates I admired her skill and tenacity. I had the pleasure of playing a season with her in 2020 and she lead the Burnsiders team at DreamHack Atlanta. I wish we could have hung out more at that event but I'm grateful for the time we got together in person. She was very open with the difficulties in her life and this is a tragic end to her story.
Through her passion for esports, art and music she brought light to the world.
It's darker without her, I'll grieve her forever.
I want to thank everyone reading this who offered her help and assistance. Do not blame yourself. I know many of us were rebuked at some point and some of us lashed out at, which speaks to the difficulties confronting her. It's not our fault.
There are so many talented individuals in this community, and esports in general, but there are also people facing severe obstacles in life. Please take care of yourselves. Please help others. Please seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed in life.
"RainofLight / she's gonna snipe"... ...
Rest in peace Queen.
fygHey Sammy, I don’t know if this is something you’d feel comfortable with but I’d be happy to donate the little I can to help out your family.
Thank you. A few people have reached out about this and I and my parents are grateful to those wanting to help.
It has been both heartbreaking yet extremely touching to read the positive comments from all of those who knew Lain.
Because of the outreach from Lain's friends and my own, I have started a GoFundMe page for anyone wishing to donate to assist my family.
Please do not feel obligated to donate if you do not have money to give - we absolutely do not want to shift our burdens onto others.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/easing-the-burden-support-for-lains-family
Thank you all.
[quote=fyg]
Hey Sammy, I don’t know if this is something you’d feel comfortable with but I’d be happy to donate the little I can to help out your family.[/quote]
Thank you. A few people have reached out about this and I and my parents are grateful to those wanting to help.
It has been both heartbreaking yet extremely touching to read the positive comments from all of those who knew Lain.
Because of the outreach from Lain's friends and my own, I have started a GoFundMe page for anyone wishing to donate to assist my family.
Please do not feel obligated to donate if you do not have money to give - we absolutely do not want to shift our burdens onto others.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/easing-the-burden-support-for-lains-family
Thank you all.
Hey Sammy, I don’t know if this is something you’d feel comfortable with but I’d be happy to donate the little I can to help out your family.[/quote]
Thank you. A few people have reached out about this and I and my parents are grateful to those wanting to help.
It has been both heartbreaking yet extremely touching to read the positive comments from all of those who knew Lain.
Because of the outreach from Lain's friends and my own, I have started a GoFundMe page for anyone wishing to donate to assist my family.
Please do not feel obligated to donate if you do not have money to give - we absolutely do not want to shift our burdens onto others.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/easing-the-burden-support-for-lains-family
Thank you all.
TheVillageIdiotHi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight...
It says a lot about the strength of your character that you are able to look at the situation with Lain and this community from such a rational perspective despite what you are going through now. I was never close with Lain, but we've known each other for a long time as long term members of the community, so the news of their passing made me feel sad, nostalgic, and reflective. I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago who recently went through an extremely traumatic event just as they seemed to be getting their life back under control again, so Lain's passing has me thinking about what I can do to support them. I wish the best to you and your family.
[quote=TheVillageIdiot]Hi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight... [/quote]
It says a lot about the strength of your character that you are able to look at the situation with Lain and this community from such a rational perspective despite what you are going through now. I was never close with Lain, but we've known each other for a long time as long term members of the community, so the news of their passing made me feel sad, nostalgic, and reflective. I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago who recently went through an extremely traumatic event just as they seemed to be getting their life back under control again, so Lain's passing has me thinking about what I can do to support them. I wish the best to you and your family.
It says a lot about the strength of your character that you are able to look at the situation with Lain and this community from such a rational perspective despite what you are going through now. I was never close with Lain, but we've known each other for a long time as long term members of the community, so the news of their passing made me feel sad, nostalgic, and reflective. I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago who recently went through an extremely traumatic event just as they seemed to be getting their life back under control again, so Lain's passing has me thinking about what I can do to support them. I wish the best to you and your family.
TheVillageIdiot
Thank you all.
The passing of Lain has has me harder then expected. I have a sister who suffered similar conditions like Lain, suffering from schizophrenia and Borderline disorder. Though she managed to recover through treatment and support and is now the joy and the glue in our family, but I wish the situation panned out differently and is still here today with your family by her side. My condolences to your family.
[quote=TheVillageIdiot]
Thank you all.[/quote]
The passing of Lain has has me harder then expected. I have a sister who suffered similar conditions like Lain, suffering from schizophrenia and Borderline disorder. Though she managed to recover through treatment and support and is now the joy and the glue in our family, but I wish the situation panned out differently and is still here today with your family by her side. My condolences to your family.
Thank you all.[/quote]
The passing of Lain has has me harder then expected. I have a sister who suffered similar conditions like Lain, suffering from schizophrenia and Borderline disorder. Though she managed to recover through treatment and support and is now the joy and the glue in our family, but I wish the situation panned out differently and is still here today with your family by her side. My condolences to your family.
To all of her close friends and family, my condolences I only really interacted with Lain at Fullerton Lan and couple of rings we had a good time from my perspective. Bless her soul, I really hope she found peace
To all of her close friends and family, my condolences I only really interacted with Lain at Fullerton Lan and couple of rings we had a good time from my perspective. Bless her soul, I really hope she found peace
capnnofapnTheVillageIdiotHi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight...
It says a lot about the strength of your character that you are able to look at the situation with Lain and this community from such a rational perspective despite what you are going through now. I was never close with Lain, but we've known each other for a long time as long term members of the community, so the news of their passing made me feel sad, nostalgic, and reflective. I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago who recently went through an extremely traumatic event just as they seemed to be getting their life back under control again, so Lain's passing has me thinking about what I can do to support them. I wish the best to you and your family.
Thank you. I have been through a lot in my personal life prior to this, and have tried hard not to become bitter.
Obviously, I kept a keen eye on Lain's twitter / X account, but following it closely was difficult as I could not directly follow. I used to check it almost daily and there were a couple of times in which I contacted my parents, but sans a miracle, I don't think there was anything I could have done this time.
I wish the best for your childhood friend. These things are more common than some of us tend to believe, and mental illness is no joke. I know there are some people who have either said things out of frustration, or don't understand the gravity of a situation like Lain's, or make assumptions about the lack of attention or care, or simply don't care, but the reality is that some of the people who were unnecessarily cruel to Lain are probably struggling too. To all of them, I hope for the best in their life's journey. It is not too late to reach out for help, nor is it ever too late to be kind.
I hope that your friend is doing okay. Please remind them that the event is temporary, and that they will learn to be okay again. Sometimes, just spending time with them and lending an ear or a hand is more than enough. I am lucky to have a couple of close friends who checked up on me and spent lots of time with me over the last couple of weeks.
murkscribeTheVillageIdiotThe passing of Lain has has me harder then expected. I have a sister who suffered similar conditions like Lain, suffering from schizophrenia and Borderline disorder. Though she managed to recover through treatment and support and is now the joy and the glue in our family, but I wish the situation panned out differently and is still here today with your family by her side. My condolences to your family.
Thank you all.
My mother's side of the family is Korean - unfortunately, the US healthcare system is not well equipped to handle severe mental illness. Every hospitalization stay seemed like a money grab, with Lain being released from the hospital before we believed she was ready, and doctors keeping her on new medication combinations which seemed to be making her condition worse, or at least, not helping. We heard "I have no reason to keep her here" many times, and eventually, Lain stopped signing medical release forms, so we had no information at all about her care, even when she was transferred between facilities. She would go away for up to week, then call my parents to pick her up, and resume the usual chaos at home, with my parents receiving large medical bills in return for seemingly nothing.
I'm glad your sister has recovered, and I wish your family and your sister the best in the future.
[quote=capnnofapn][quote=TheVillageIdiot]Hi all, Lain's brother Sam here. I apologize if this post seems disjointed, I'm a little all over the place tonight... [/quote]
It says a lot about the strength of your character that you are able to look at the situation with Lain and this community from such a rational perspective despite what you are going through now. I was never close with Lain, but we've known each other for a long time as long term members of the community, so the news of their passing made me feel sad, nostalgic, and reflective. I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago who recently went through an extremely traumatic event just as they seemed to be getting their life back under control again, so Lain's passing has me thinking about what I can do to support them. I wish the best to you and your family.[/quote]
Thank you. I have been through a lot in my personal life prior to this, and have tried hard not to become bitter.
Obviously, I kept a keen eye on Lain's twitter / X account, but following it closely was difficult as I could not directly follow. I used to check it almost daily and there were a couple of times in which I contacted my parents, but sans a miracle, I don't think there was anything I could have done this time.
I wish the best for your childhood friend. These things are more common than some of us tend to believe, and mental illness is no joke. I know there are some people who have either said things out of frustration, or don't understand the gravity of a situation like Lain's, or make assumptions about the lack of attention or care, or simply don't care, but the reality is that some of the people who were unnecessarily cruel to Lain are probably struggling too. To all of them, I hope for the best in their life's journey. It is not too late to reach out for help, nor is it ever too late to be kind.
I hope that your friend is doing okay. Please remind them that the event is temporary, and that they will learn to be okay again. Sometimes, just spending time with them and lending an ear or a hand is more than enough. I am lucky to have a couple of close friends who checked up on me and spent lots of time with me over the last couple of weeks.
[quote=murkscribe][quote=TheVillageIdiot]
Thank you all.[/quote]
The passing of Lain has has me harder then expected. I have a sister who suffered similar conditions like Lain, suffering from schizophrenia and Borderline disorder. Though she managed to recover through treatment and support and is now the joy and the glue in our family, but I wish the situation panned out differently and is still here today with your family by her side. My condolences to your family.[/quote]
My mother's side of the family is Korean - unfortunately, the US healthcare system is not well equipped to handle severe mental illness. Every hospitalization stay seemed like a money grab, with Lain being released from the hospital before we believed she was ready, and doctors keeping her on new medication combinations which seemed to be making her condition worse, or at least, not helping. We heard "I have no reason to keep her here" many times, and eventually, Lain stopped signing medical release forms, so we had no information at all about her care, even when she was transferred between facilities. She would go away for up to week, then call my parents to pick her up, and resume the usual chaos at home, with my parents receiving large medical bills in return for seemingly nothing.
I'm glad your sister has recovered, and I wish your family and your sister the best in the future.
It says a lot about the strength of your character that you are able to look at the situation with Lain and this community from such a rational perspective despite what you are going through now. I was never close with Lain, but we've known each other for a long time as long term members of the community, so the news of their passing made me feel sad, nostalgic, and reflective. I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago who recently went through an extremely traumatic event just as they seemed to be getting their life back under control again, so Lain's passing has me thinking about what I can do to support them. I wish the best to you and your family.[/quote]
Thank you. I have been through a lot in my personal life prior to this, and have tried hard not to become bitter.
Obviously, I kept a keen eye on Lain's twitter / X account, but following it closely was difficult as I could not directly follow. I used to check it almost daily and there were a couple of times in which I contacted my parents, but sans a miracle, I don't think there was anything I could have done this time.
I wish the best for your childhood friend. These things are more common than some of us tend to believe, and mental illness is no joke. I know there are some people who have either said things out of frustration, or don't understand the gravity of a situation like Lain's, or make assumptions about the lack of attention or care, or simply don't care, but the reality is that some of the people who were unnecessarily cruel to Lain are probably struggling too. To all of them, I hope for the best in their life's journey. It is not too late to reach out for help, nor is it ever too late to be kind.
I hope that your friend is doing okay. Please remind them that the event is temporary, and that they will learn to be okay again. Sometimes, just spending time with them and lending an ear or a hand is more than enough. I am lucky to have a couple of close friends who checked up on me and spent lots of time with me over the last couple of weeks.
[quote=murkscribe][quote=TheVillageIdiot]
Thank you all.[/quote]
The passing of Lain has has me harder then expected. I have a sister who suffered similar conditions like Lain, suffering from schizophrenia and Borderline disorder. Though she managed to recover through treatment and support and is now the joy and the glue in our family, but I wish the situation panned out differently and is still here today with your family by her side. My condolences to your family.[/quote]
My mother's side of the family is Korean - unfortunately, the US healthcare system is not well equipped to handle severe mental illness. Every hospitalization stay seemed like a money grab, with Lain being released from the hospital before we believed she was ready, and doctors keeping her on new medication combinations which seemed to be making her condition worse, or at least, not helping. We heard "I have no reason to keep her here" many times, and eventually, Lain stopped signing medical release forms, so we had no information at all about her care, even when she was transferred between facilities. She would go away for up to week, then call my parents to pick her up, and resume the usual chaos at home, with my parents receiving large medical bills in return for seemingly nothing.
I'm glad your sister has recovered, and I wish your family and your sister the best in the future.
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