https://twitter.com/thewaxperience/status/1214017545084137473?s=21
i didn’t know where else to post this. i hate the person ive allowed myself to become.
Vent your anger
posted in
Off Topic
https://twitter.com/thewaxperience/status/1214017545084137473?s=21
i didn’t know where else to post this. i hate the person ive allowed myself to become.
i didn’t know where else to post this. i hate the person ive allowed myself to become.
-waxhttps://twitter.com/thewaxperience/status/1214017545084137473?s=21
i didn’t know where else to post this. i hate the person ive allowed myself to become.
While I can't relate to some of the specific feelings and emotions you're experiencing, it seems clear that you are decently self-aware of those emotions. Something that helped me a lot when I was feeling like this about my depression and anxiety was finally looking into therapy as an option.
I will heavily preface that by saying that therapy can be very different from person to person, clinic to clinic, and therapist to therapist. In order for therapy to be effective, you should do some research and try and find a good match for you. Therapy also is a bit of a 2 way street in the sense that on some level you need to make an effort or want to be there. I don't think you need some sort of specific goal or improvement in mind, but just going every week and not wanting to be there or not wanting to help make an effort will make the experience minimally helpful. Therapy also isn't for everyone and other people find these kinds of answers from different outlets; I just wanted to share what experiences have worked for me and tips for trying to make those experiences work because I know what it's like to feel helpless and hate yourself.
[quote=-wax]https://twitter.com/thewaxperience/status/1214017545084137473?s=21
i didn’t know where else to post this. i hate the person ive allowed myself to become.[/quote]
While I can't relate to some of the specific feelings and emotions you're experiencing, it seems clear that you are decently self-aware of those emotions. Something that helped me a lot when I was feeling like this about my depression and anxiety was finally looking into therapy as an option.
I will heavily preface that by saying that therapy can be very different from person to person, clinic to clinic, and therapist to therapist. In order for therapy to be effective, you should do some research and try and find a good match for you. Therapy also is a bit of a 2 way street in the sense that on some level you need to make an effort or want to be there. I don't think you need some sort of specific goal or improvement in mind, but just going every week and not wanting to be there or not wanting to help make an effort will make the experience minimally helpful. Therapy also isn't for everyone and other people find these kinds of answers from different outlets; I just wanted to share what experiences have worked for me and tips for trying to make those experiences work because I know what it's like to feel helpless and hate yourself.
i didn’t know where else to post this. i hate the person ive allowed myself to become.[/quote]
While I can't relate to some of the specific feelings and emotions you're experiencing, it seems clear that you are decently self-aware of those emotions. Something that helped me a lot when I was feeling like this about my depression and anxiety was finally looking into therapy as an option.
I will heavily preface that by saying that therapy can be very different from person to person, clinic to clinic, and therapist to therapist. In order for therapy to be effective, you should do some research and try and find a good match for you. Therapy also is a bit of a 2 way street in the sense that on some level you need to make an effort or want to be there. I don't think you need some sort of specific goal or improvement in mind, but just going every week and not wanting to be there or not wanting to help make an effort will make the experience minimally helpful. Therapy also isn't for everyone and other people find these kinds of answers from different outlets; I just wanted to share what experiences have worked for me and tips for trying to make those experiences work because I know what it's like to feel helpless and hate yourself.
Funs 2 years agoI put off finishing my personal statement for uni application for like two months and even though I've basically finished it now I'm really angry at myself for just doing the usual and avoiding it for ages reeeeeee
also I hope I'm actually choosing the right degree because I just don't have that one ambition everyone else seems to have, I just have like half ambitions
btw it wasnt grad med it is smh
[quote=Funs 2 years ago]I put off finishing my personal statement for uni application for like two months and even though I've basically finished it now I'm really angry at myself for just doing the usual and avoiding it for ages reeeeeee
also I hope I'm actually choosing the right degree because I just don't have that one ambition everyone else seems to have, I just have like half ambitions[/quote]
btw it wasnt grad med it is smh
also I hope I'm actually choosing the right degree because I just don't have that one ambition everyone else seems to have, I just have like half ambitions[/quote]
btw it wasnt grad med it is smh
- Electricty goes off during windy/stormy nights due to shoddy electrical setup
- Hot water stops working in the middle of the shower sometimes
- The pipe for hot water is broken so we wasted 1400L of water last month. Have to walk out of the house, turn the valve manually for a shower, then close it again so it doesnt waste water
god i fucking hate living in an old house
[list]
[*] Electricty goes off during windy/stormy nights due to shoddy electrical setup
[*] Hot water stops working in the middle of the shower sometimes
[*] The pipe for hot water is broken so we wasted 1400L of water last month. Have to walk out of the house, turn the valve manually for a shower, then close it again so it doesnt waste water
[/list]
god i fucking hate living in an old house
[*] Electricty goes off during windy/stormy nights due to shoddy electrical setup
[*] Hot water stops working in the middle of the shower sometimes
[*] The pipe for hot water is broken so we wasted 1400L of water last month. Have to walk out of the house, turn the valve manually for a shower, then close it again so it doesnt waste water
[/list]
god i fucking hate living in an old house
My wife has brain cancer at 31.
Brain surgery went well, but now it's radiation treatment 5 days a week for 7 weeks, and hoping this shit gets beat, but the odds say it will be back. This woman has served her family, and cleaned up other people's shit her whole life. We adopted her nephew, and put our own plan for kids on hold to help the little fucker out. It sucks to watch the woman you love struggle physically and emotionally harder than she ever has before in her life.
My wife has brain cancer at 31.
Brain surgery went well, but now it's radiation treatment 5 days a week for 7 weeks, and hoping this shit gets beat, but the odds say it will be back. This woman has served her family, and cleaned up other people's shit her whole life. We adopted her nephew, and put our own plan for kids on hold to help the little fucker out. It sucks to watch the woman you love struggle physically and emotionally harder than she ever has before in her life.
Brain surgery went well, but now it's radiation treatment 5 days a week for 7 weeks, and hoping this shit gets beat, but the odds say it will be back. This woman has served her family, and cleaned up other people's shit her whole life. We adopted her nephew, and put our own plan for kids on hold to help the little fucker out. It sucks to watch the woman you love struggle physically and emotionally harder than she ever has before in her life.
got a small fracture on my back from shitty squat form and now i cant workout for a few weeks. feel useless and kind of concerned that i have back pain at such a young age. makes me feel worried about the future
got a small fracture on my back from shitty squat form and now i cant workout for a few weeks. feel useless and kind of concerned that i have back pain at such a young age. makes me feel worried about the future
hackers in casual
hackers in low, hackers in mid, hackers in high
hackers in mixes (yes really, it has happened)
cycle of people doing discriminatory shit, no one bats an eye, someone worth their salt calls it out, action is taken to set an example, people celebrate and say "okay, NOW is when we take a stance against this bullshit" and then it's like everyone who's playing tf2 right now collectively forgets about it like we're sleeper agents
casual tf2 isn't really going anywhere regardless of hackers, but new players either hack themselves or won't stick around to learn why we've put in 5k+, 10k+, 15k+ hours in this game. in game competitive is dead. third party competitive is on life support and it's like no one is really sure if we're supposed to pull the plug
rocketslaypeople are quitting tf2 and i can't do anything about it
hackers in casual
hackers in low, hackers in mid, hackers in high
hackers in mixes (yes really, it has happened)
cycle of people doing discriminatory shit, no one bats an eye, someone worth their salt calls it out, action is taken to set an example, people celebrate and say "okay, NOW is when we take a stance against this bullshit" and then it's like everyone who's playing tf2 right now collectively forgets about it like we're sleeper agents
casual tf2 isn't really going anywhere regardless of hackers, but new players either hack themselves or won't stick around to learn why we've put in 5k+, 10k+, 15k+ hours in this game. in game competitive is dead. third party competitive is on life support and it's like no one is really sure if we're supposed to pull the plug
[quote=rocketslay]people are quitting tf2 and i can't do anything about it[/quote]
hackers in low, hackers in mid, hackers in high
hackers in mixes (yes really, it has happened)
cycle of people doing discriminatory shit, no one bats an eye, someone worth their salt calls it out, action is taken to set an example, people celebrate and say "okay, NOW is when we take a stance against this bullshit" and then it's like everyone who's playing tf2 right now collectively forgets about it like we're sleeper agents
casual tf2 isn't really going anywhere regardless of hackers, but new players either hack themselves or won't stick around to learn why we've put in 5k+, 10k+, 15k+ hours in this game. in game competitive is dead. third party competitive is on life support and it's like no one is really sure if we're supposed to pull the plug
[quote=rocketslay]people are quitting tf2 and i can't do anything about it[/quote]
im getting fucking eli manning'd by my main team and theres nothing anyone can do about it
losing on clearcut wasnt my fault but it was either cut me or kill the team, so i bit the bullet
now i get to watch this squad flounder through finding a 6th that wont want to chop dick off after listening to kami and ghad whine for a straight hour - puzza certainly didnt want to do it
i just want to play tf2 bro why do i need to be the scapegoat for every team i play on #freegrit
im getting fucking eli manning'd by my main team and theres nothing anyone can do about it
losing on clearcut wasnt my fault but it was either cut me or kill the team, so i bit the bullet
now i get to watch this squad flounder through finding a 6th that wont want to chop dick off after listening to kami and ghad whine for a straight hour - puzza certainly didnt want to do it
i just want to play tf2 bro why do i need to be the scapegoat for every team i play on #freegrit
losing on clearcut wasnt my fault but it was either cut me or kill the team, so i bit the bullet
now i get to watch this squad flounder through finding a 6th that wont want to chop dick off after listening to kami and ghad whine for a straight hour - puzza certainly didnt want to do it
i just want to play tf2 bro why do i need to be the scapegoat for every team i play on #freegrit
indigosummerhow do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
[quote=indigosummer]how do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
indigosummerhow do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
[quote=indigosummer]how do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
Air_
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.
warriordragon12
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
[quote=Air_]
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.[/quote]
i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.
[quote=warriordragon12]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you[/quote]
yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.[/quote]
i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.
[quote=warriordragon12]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you[/quote]
yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
fenomenoThis game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
please go away for another 3 years or more
[quote=fenomeno]This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more
Air_fenomenoThis game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
please go away for another 3 years or more
I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
[quote=Air_][quote=fenomeno]This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more[/quote]
I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more[/quote]
I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
uni took my money and won't confirm my returning status, I'm fuming
uni took my money and won't confirm my returning status, I'm fuming
I hate how people hate other people without ever talking to them
I hate how people hate other people without ever talking to them
just bought this twitter egirls onlyfans cause it’s on sale... it sucks so much man
just bought this twitter egirls onlyfans cause it’s on sale... it sucks so much man
I have 3rd place in this game I speedrun and I have been trying for like 2 months to get the WR or even just 2nd place but I've choked every attempt that's been close
I have 3rd place in this game I speedrun and I have been trying for like 2 months to get the WR or even just 2nd place but I've choked every attempt that's been close
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