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Vent your anger
posted in Off Topic
1201
#1201
69 Frags +

My wife has brain cancer at 31.

Brain surgery went well, but now it's radiation treatment 5 days a week for 7 weeks, and hoping this shit gets beat, but the odds say it will be back. This woman has served her family, and cleaned up other people's shit her whole life. We adopted her nephew, and put our own plan for kids on hold to help the little fucker out. It sucks to watch the woman you love struggle physically and emotionally harder than she ever has before in her life.

My wife has brain cancer at 31.

Brain surgery went well, but now it's radiation treatment 5 days a week for 7 weeks, and hoping this shit gets beat, but the odds say it will be back. This woman has served her family, and cleaned up other people's shit her whole life. We adopted her nephew, and put our own plan for kids on hold to help the little fucker out. It sucks to watch the woman you love struggle physically and emotionally harder than she ever has before in her life.
1202
#1202
2 Frags +

got a small fracture on my back from shitty squat form and now i cant workout for a few weeks. feel useless and kind of concerned that i have back pain at such a young age. makes me feel worried about the future

got a small fracture on my back from shitty squat form and now i cant workout for a few weeks. feel useless and kind of concerned that i have back pain at such a young age. makes me feel worried about the future
1203
#1203
10 Frags +

hackers in casual
hackers in low, hackers in mid, hackers in high
hackers in mixes (yes really, it has happened)

cycle of people doing discriminatory shit, no one bats an eye, someone worth their salt calls it out, action is taken to set an example, people celebrate and say "okay, NOW is when we take a stance against this bullshit" and then it's like everyone who's playing tf2 right now collectively forgets about it like we're sleeper agents

casual tf2 isn't really going anywhere regardless of hackers, but new players either hack themselves or won't stick around to learn why we've put in 5k+, 10k+, 15k+ hours in this game. in game competitive is dead. third party competitive is on life support and it's like no one is really sure if we're supposed to pull the plug

rocketslaypeople are quitting tf2 and i can't do anything about it
hackers in casual
hackers in low, hackers in mid, hackers in high
hackers in mixes (yes really, it has happened)

cycle of people doing discriminatory shit, no one bats an eye, someone worth their salt calls it out, action is taken to set an example, people celebrate and say "okay, NOW is when we take a stance against this bullshit" and then it's like everyone who's playing tf2 right now collectively forgets about it like we're sleeper agents

casual tf2 isn't really going anywhere regardless of hackers, but new players either hack themselves or won't stick around to learn why we've put in 5k+, 10k+, 15k+ hours in this game. in game competitive is dead. third party competitive is on life support and it's like no one is really sure if we're supposed to pull the plug

[quote=rocketslay]people are quitting tf2 and i can't do anything about it[/quote]
1204
#1204
8 Frags +
cryosis Valve
[quote=cryosis] Valve [/quote]
1205
#1205
5 Frags +

im getting fucking eli manning'd by my main team and theres nothing anyone can do about it

losing on clearcut wasnt my fault but it was either cut me or kill the team, so i bit the bullet

now i get to watch this squad flounder through finding a 6th that wont want to chop dick off after listening to kami and ghad whine for a straight hour - puzza certainly didnt want to do it

i just want to play tf2 bro why do i need to be the scapegoat for every team i play on #freegrit

im getting fucking eli manning'd by my main team and theres nothing anyone can do about it

losing on clearcut wasnt my fault but it was either cut me or kill the team, so i bit the bullet

now i get to watch this squad flounder through finding a 6th that wont want to chop dick off after listening to kami and ghad whine for a straight hour - puzza certainly didnt want to do it

i just want to play tf2 bro why do i need to be the scapegoat for every team i play on #freegrit
1206
#1206
19 Frags +

.

.
1207
#1207
17 Frags +
indigosummerhow do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?

i commute everday

everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.

what's even the point of doing any of this?

having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"

you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.

the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.

i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.

[quote=indigosummer]how do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?

i commute everday

everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.

what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]

having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"

you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.

the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.

i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
1208
#1208
3 Frags +
indigosummerhow do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?

i commute everday

everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.

what's even the point of doing any of this?

life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up

i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you

[quote=indigosummer]how do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?

i commute everday

everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.

what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]

life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up

i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
1209
#1209
0 Frags +
Air_
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"

you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.

the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.

i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.

i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.

warriordragon12
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up

i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you

yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.

[quote=Air_]

having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"

you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.

the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.

i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.[/quote]

i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.


[quote=warriordragon12]

life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up

i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you[/quote]

yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
1210
#1210
4 Frags +

who cares

who cares
1211
#1211
-15 Frags +

This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL

#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead

This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL

#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
1212
#1212
13 Frags +
fenomenoThis game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL

#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead

please go away for another 3 years or more

[quote=fenomeno]This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL

#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]


please go away for another 3 years or more
1213
#1213
-2 Frags +
Air_fenomenoThis game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL

#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead

please go away for another 3 years or more

I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw

[quote=Air_][quote=fenomeno]This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL

#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]


please go away for another 3 years or more[/quote]

I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
1214
#1214
24 Frags +

r u guys beefing over smth from 5 years ago lol

r u guys beefing over smth from 5 years ago lol
1215
#1215
6 Frags +

fuck wrist pain all my homies hate wrist pain

fuck wrist pain all my homies hate wrist pain
1216
#1216
8 Frags +

uni took my money and won't confirm my returning status, I'm fuming

uni took my money and won't confirm my returning status, I'm fuming
1217
#1217
27 Frags +

I hate how people hate other people without ever talking to them

I hate how people hate other people without ever talking to them
1218
#1218
11 Frags +

job make angry

job make angry
1219
#1219
2 Frags +

=

=
1220
#1220
12 Frags +

Lost my fucking sucking car keys

Lost my fucking sucking car keys
1221
#1221
5 Frags +

=

=
1222
#1222
-1 Frags +

just bought this twitter egirls onlyfans cause it’s on sale... it sucks so much man

just bought this twitter egirls onlyfans cause it’s on sale... it sucks so much man
1223
#1223
7 Frags +

Cant stop. Shitting

Cant stop. Shitting
1224
#1224
7 Frags +

AimIsADick

AimIsADick
1225
#1225
15 Frags +

I have 3rd place in this game I speedrun and I have been trying for like 2 months to get the WR or even just 2nd place but I've choked every attempt that's been close

I have 3rd place in this game I speedrun and I have been trying for like 2 months to get the WR or even just 2nd place but I've choked every attempt that's been close
1226
#1226
11 Frags +

.

.
1227
#1227
14 Frags +

:-) Y'all play any Trombone Champ?

:-) Y'all play any Trombone Champ?
1228
#1228
-2 Frags +

=

=
1229
#1229
-1 Frags +

-

-
1230
#1230
8 Frags +

my lizard passed away this morning, barely two years old
my mind is just racing with anger at myself and shame about all the things i could have done differently
she deserved a full happy life and i couldnt give that to her

my lizard passed away this morning, barely two years old
my mind is just racing with anger at myself and shame about all the things i could have done differently
she deserved a full happy life and i couldnt give that to her
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